# Explain the delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test thing to me **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 27, 2022, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525 "2022-04-27T07:42:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Mallard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Mallard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mallard)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2022, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/81 "2022-04-30T14:59:35Z")
The euphoria is even greater when you child tells you she is pregnant or your son says we’re pregnant! ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2022, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/82 "2022-04-30T17:43:11Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Didn’t say that. feel free to elaborate on what you meant, do you think people should feel happiness _only_? _first_? _most_? I’m not clear on which bit is confusing for you. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2022, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/83 "2022-04-30T19:52:38Z")
I said nothing about people only, first, or most feeling happiness. I said nothing about it being weird to feel anxious. The thing I’m confused about is the OP not understanding why people would be happy if they got something they want, which I feel was pretty plainly stated in my first post. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2022, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/84 "2022-04-30T19:57:50Z")
> [@Mallard](#): > > The euphoria is even greater when you child tells you she is pregnant or your son says we’re pregnant! While I was very happy, not as happy as when we found out our wife was pregnant with our first. Surprised a bit, since we had been convinced that our oldest daughter was not interested. But our first grandchild was very wanted. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2022, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/85 "2022-04-30T21:20:26Z")
That reminds me of when my wife and I were making our first. She invited me to lunch one day and then slid a sonogram photo across the table. You know, like they do in the movies when a pregnancy isn’t planned. I have to say I was still pretty nervous about it, even though it was planned. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2022, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/86 "2022-05-01T02:37:27Z")
_Initial_ response. Not ONLY response. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2022, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/87 "2022-05-01T03:28:29Z")
Let’s not forget that these videos of reactions are social media. People are going to just show the happiest-looking emotions. Do you look through a wedding album and question why everyone is smiling in all the pictures? ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2022, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/88 "2022-05-01T05:57:00Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > The thing I’m confused about is the OP not understanding why people would be happy if they got something they want, which I feel was pretty plainly stated in my first post. It wasn’t clear what you meant in your first post, hence my question. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2022, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/89 "2022-05-01T06:00:35Z")
> [@bump](#): > > _Initial_ response. Not ONLY response. I think it is is perfectly reasonable for an intitial response to be something other than excitement and delight, no matter how well you’ve planned for it, or how much you’ve anticipated it. Humans are complicated. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2022, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/90 "2022-05-01T06:46:53Z")
A range of emotional responses is to be expected. People vary. But it seems obvious to me that “delight” is one of the emotions people might fell when learning they’ve started a baby. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2022, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/91 "2022-05-01T07:57:48Z")
Absolutely true, it is a perfectly common and reasonable response, probably _the_ most common, but it is not the only _acceptable_ reaction, is far from the _only_ common reaction and the lack of such an initial reaction is not indicative that the person in question has failed to ready themselves for the challenges of parenthood. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2022, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/92 "2022-05-01T14:11:37Z")
^Exactly that. Nobody is saying that “delight” is not one of the emotions people might feel when learning they’ve started a baby. The response is that that it _should_ be the initial response. The initial response needn’t be anything in particular. One responds as they respond – they could be intellectually ready for it, but the “oh shit, things are _real_” now, that move from the abstract to the concrete, can overwhelm the joy for some as an initial response. That’s perfectly natural, IMHO, if not the most common initial response. As I mentioned before, for me, the reaction was simultaneous joy and apprehension, with the apprehension probably overriding the joy a bit. At least I did not get a huge influx of joy hormones, neither then, and definitely not at my daughter’s birth, which was more an abstract experience of “here’s a baby–now take care of it.” I wanted a child. I was intellectually happy to have a child. I did not feel an emotion that I would normally characterize as “joy” when it happened. Relief. Stress. Trepidation. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2022, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/93 "2022-05-01T16:55:32Z")
I think the big issuebis that initial emotional responses are prpbably not terribly predictive of later attitudes. This is why i loathe the trend of “reaction videos” for everything from pregnancy announcments to suprise homecomings to college acceptances. People often have weird reactions. It doesn’t really mean much. And honestly, I think some pretty crappy parents were overjoyed at discovering a pregnancy and a Some pretty awesome ones may have had a first reaction that was like “get the car, going to the clinc to stop this”. Character plays a big role on how one adapts to challenges (and luck, too. My son makes parenting easy and fun (at least these first 10 years!)). ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2022, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/94 "2022-05-01T19:20:51Z")
> [@bump](#): > > _Initial_ response. Not ONLY response. For us the test just confirmed what my wife suspected, so I’m not sure it qualified as an initial response. I think it would have been more disruptive to our lives if she didn’t get pregnant, since we were in a good place in our lives for it. ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2022, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/95 "2022-05-02T11:24:24Z")
I was very happy, we wanted children and were living at a level where we could afford the first child. Our daughter is a complete delight. When, 2 years after her birth, it became time for a second I used a fairly sexist Android app that reports menstrual dates (and therefore time to be especially nice to your lady, due to PMS) for the slightly different purpose of calculating when to best procreate in order to have a son. There is only about a 70% possibility of getting that right but I (or we, really) succeeded in a baby boy by chosing the right dates. I then got a vasectomy. And deleted the app. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2022, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/96 "2022-05-02T18:07:45Z")
> [@scudsucker](#): > > When, 2 years after her birth, it became time for a second I used a fairly sexist Android app that reports menstrual dates (and therefore time to be especially nice to your lady, due to PMS) for the slightly different purpose of calculating when to best procreate in order to have a son. Fight my ignorance, here. You can actually stand a fairly decent chance of choosing the sex of your child by having sex on a certain day? ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2022, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/97 "2022-05-02T18:27:57Z")
Indeed. I questioned our gynecologist on this, because we had a daughter first, and I wanted a son - I would have been happy with another daughter - but as it turns out having sex on the day of ovulation [favours the chances of a male child.](https://embryo.asu.edu/pages/whelan-method-sex-selection#:~:text=The%20Shettles%20Method%20was%20developed,to%20produce%20a%20male%20offspring.) I thought it was an old wive’s tale until the the gyne confirmed it and so I gave it a try, with the intended results. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2022, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/98 "2022-05-02T21:34:01Z")
I think the theory has to do with whether male or female sperm live a little longer, or swim a little faster, or something like that. I think there’s a real effect, but it’s very small. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2022, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/99 "2022-05-03T12:41:44Z")
> [@bump](#): > > What I was trying to say, is that much like getting cold feet at the altar, if your first response is fear and anxiety when you hear about a positive pregnancy test _when you’ve been trying to have a child_ , you’ve not thought it through very well, or you weren’t actually on board with it in the first place. Oh I know what you are trying to say. You have said the exact same thing many times despite numerous people telling you are wrong. > [@bump](#): > > I’m NOT telling someone how they should feel, but if their reaction in either event (immediately before marriage ceremony or positive pregnancy test for a desired child) is negative, then that’s probably indicative of something bigger going on. You are telling people how they should feel. Your logic is that if they have done X (thought things though), their reaction should be Y (happiness) and if it’s not Y but Z (anxiety), then means they really didn’t do X (think things through). This is telling people how they should feel in that it in that if they have truly done X, they should feel Y. This argument fails because it neglects that not all people are like you. Not all people react the same as you do. As many other posters have said, people are complex with a wide range of emotions. I’ve said this more than once, other posters have said it but you aren’t buying it so I’m not going to repeat it anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2022, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525/100 "2022-05-03T14:07:39Z")
We went the donor egg IVF route for my two children. I was delighted over each positive test because it saved a bundle of money not having to do it all over again, and saving me the embarrassment of once again having to muster up my end of the deal with out-dated porn magazines in the clinic’s specimen retrieval room. Did you ever have a nurse barge in on you while you were about to end in a _happy way_, thinking the room was empty? I did. _“Whoops, sorry!”_ did little to alleviate my anxiety or inspire me finish the business _at hand_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-delight-over-positive-pregnancy-test-thing-to-me/963525.md?page=6)