# Explain the whole "cougar" meme to me. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 21, 2007, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011 "2007-09-21T17:50:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2007, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/41 "2007-09-22T18:23:41Z")
\>this still applies to human cougars Hmm. Yeah, I guess it would be theoretically possible to be stalked by a human female, too. It just seems so much less likely than a catamount. I mean, human females usually just look irritated and move away… ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2007, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/42 "2007-09-22T18:37:33Z")
[QUOTE=Count Blucher] You hit parts of what I wanted to say, but in a different way. The man who chases significantly younger girls is a Dirty Old Man/ Creep/ Perv. They are universally despised pariahs who only ever get away with their predilection if their back-pocket cash exceeds the young woman’s expectations. (cite: see marriage of Howard Marshall and Anna Nicole Smith) Still, people laugh at them or deride them (and their partners) behind their backs. [/quote] Yeah, but it takes a pretty big differential before it raises eyebrows - much more than it would the other way around. For instance, when I first asked my wife out, she was 23 and I was 34. As best as I can tell, nobody looked askance at the age difference. But a 34 year old woman dating a 23 year old man would have everyone thinking ‘he’s her boy toy.’ So it’s not like women always come off looking better when the ages are reversed. > [@](#): > > Take a Leisure Suit Larry Creep with bad plugs, change the sex, and you have what the 6th Ave ad-scum have romanticized as ‘The Cougar’ or the ‘MILF’. Its the dirty little double standard that no one wants you to examine too closely; not while there’s money to be made off of it anyway. If you’ll pardon my asking, where’s the money? Are they selling ‘cougar’ merchandise or something? It’s hard for me to see where people getting rich off of ‘cougars.’ ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2007, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/43 "2007-09-22T18:43:42Z")
I was called a cougar once, by a twenty three year old girl who was pissed that the guy she was interested in was more interested in me. FTR, I’m 36, he’s 27, \*he \* hit on _me_, and yeah, I went there. 😃 I certainly don’t make a point of hitting on guys who are younger than me (although I AM regularly hit on by guys who are younger than me. For some reason, I’m like boynip to the under-30 set). And I’m defininitely not “predatory” in my flirting habits, regardless of the age of the gentleman I’m interested in. What I \*am \* is direct. I’m not going to play games or be coy. If I’m intererested in you, you’re going to know it. If you’re interested as well, fabulous. If not, we can both move on. Part of this is just my personality, but part of it \*is \* age. I’m old now, and every day I have a little less time to sit around wondering what would have happened if I’d just been honest and gone after what I wanted. So call me what you like, I guess. Either way, I’m gettin’ some toniiiiiiiight!!! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kyyrewyyoae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Kyyrewyyoae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyyrewyyoae)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/44 "2007-09-22T19:11:38Z")
[QUOTE=RTFirefly] Are they selling ‘cougar’ merchandise or something? [/QUOTE] [Yes.](http://www.bustedtees.com/shirt/cougarhunter/male) Incidentally, this is where I first saw the term. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2007, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/45 "2007-09-22T19:15:18Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] FTR, I’m 36, \ I’m old now [/QUOTE] To quote Dennis the Peasant from MP&HG, “I’m only 37…I’m not _old_.” Trust me, 36 isn’t old. I’m 53, and I’m sure as hell not ‘old’ yet. I’ll let you know when/if I get there. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/46 "2007-09-22T20:34:42Z")
I am in my 40s and have nebver encountered this term. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2007, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/47 "2007-09-22T22:43:03Z")
[QUOTE=RTFirefly] To quote Dennis the Peasant from MP&HG, “I’m only 37…I’m not _old_.” Trust me, 36 isn’t old. I’m 53, and I’m sure as hell not ‘old’ yet. I’ll let you know when/if I get there. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Eh, sometimes it feels like I’m awfully old for the dating thing. Not that I’m complaining, because I’m having a blast. It’s just that sometimes I wonder if I’m not enjoying this just a bit too much, and coming off as that “oldest chick in the club”. (FTR, I’m never \*actually \* the oldest chick in the club. Trust me, I’ve checked! 😉 ) It’s funny, my ex (whom I was with for ten years) recently said to me “You never used to be interested in younger guys!” and I responded “Well no honey, because I used to be 26. There simply weren’t that many guys who were younger than me!” But now, there’s a whole bunch of good guys who are younger than me, and it seems silly to rule them out. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2007, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/48 "2007-09-22T23:39:33Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] And the F usually stands for something else besides “Fun”. I prefer “Mature” for the M because the “Mom” part isn’t always accurate. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but the definition of the term relates to motherly status, not age. Moms are typically not thought of as “hot” since they generally focus their attention on raising the kids, not their appearance. You can substitute “fun” if you prefer to be less vulgar. > [@RTFirefly](#): > > But a 34 year old woman dating a 23 year old man would have everyone thinking ‘he’s her boy toy.’ I briefly dated a 28 year old woman when I was 25 and her friends called me her “boy toy”. I look really young though. I’m 35 and people still think I’m 25. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2007, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/49 "2007-09-22T23:53:40Z")
[QUOTE=teela brown] Hmmm, I would have used the phrase “college widow” before I heard of this word. Groucho: “In my day, a college widow stood for something. In fact, she stood for _plenty_.” [/QUOTE] You’re obviously living in 1932. How the hell do you post to the Dope? Ham radio? Western Union? ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2007, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/50 "2007-09-23T00:22:27Z")
Well, first he was **Johnny Cougar,** then a more respectable **John Cougar** , then, in an attempt to gradually distance himself from silly stage names it became **John Cougar Mellancamp** , and then finally, just **John Mellancamp**. But we always just called him **Johnny Hoosier**. Happened to have lunch with him in Seymour once when he was filming a video… I didn’t call him that to his face. Just John. This is about John Cougar, right? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2007, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/51 "2007-09-23T00:37:21Z")
I thought the whole thing was pretty hot, until I actually had sex with a 41-year-old. > [@jk1245](#): > > what’s a male cougar called? Generally “pervert” or “lucky”, depending on how attractive and/or wealthy he is. > [@RTFirefly](#): > > If you’ll pardon my asking, where’s the money? Mostly in the San Fernando Valley. I don’t know about that 6th Ave stuff. ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2007, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/52 "2007-09-23T01:34:38Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] I thought the whole thing was pretty hot, until I actually had sex with a 41-year-old. [/quote] Odd…some of the best sex I’ve had has been with women in their 40’s. I’m 38 now, but when I was 30, I had sex with a 41-year-old, and it was extremely hot. Since then, I’ve been with women who are 40, 42, and 46, (and a couple of them that may have been older than that - I just didn’t ask) and I have NO complaints about any of these women. They knew what they wanted , and how to get it, and still made me feel like I was part of why it was such a good thing at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2007, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/53 "2007-09-23T02:58:15Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] Mostly in the San Fernando Valley. I don’t know about that 6th Ave stuff. [/QUOTE] Maybe the 6th Ave stuff is just covered up really well by ‘Age Defying Make-Up’? (by L’Oreal, of course… :rolleyes: ) Hair-plugs (for men): how ugly & repugnant. Hair Extensions (a la Britney): Oh, how Trendy…! Leisure Suit Larry trying to score: a laugh-track and a derisive running joke with Neil Patrick Harris; not even a minor plot-item. Cougars vs Kittens: Oh, this is serious reality TV. Who will get picked…!? :rolleyes: to the 99th (this much irony could put Centrum Silver out of business) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2007, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/54 "2007-09-23T16:51:03Z")
I’m baffled at the folks who are just hearing this term. I recall it from college in the 70s. In those days the connotation seemed to be mostly positive, as in a nice side effect of the women’s lib movement; it was not the female equivalent of the dirty old man who chased coeds. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2007, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/55 "2007-09-23T17:08:13Z")
[QUOTE=Count Blucher] Maybe the 6th Ave stuff is just covered up really well by ‘Age Defying Make-Up’? (by L’Oreal, of course… :rolleyes: ) Hair-plugs (for men): how ugly & repugnant. Hair Extensions (a la Britney): Oh, how Trendy…! Leisure Suit Larry trying to score: a laugh-track and a derisive running joke with Neil Patrick Harris; not even a minor plot-item. Cougars vs Kittens: Oh, this is serious reality TV. Who will get picked…!? :rolleyes: to the 99th (this much irony could put Centrum Silver out of business) [/QUOTE] Silly! Women are empowering themselves and reclaiming their sexuality while men are just selfish losers looking to get their dicks wet. But don’t dispair! We at the SDMB have hashed-out this issue in [one of the most enjoyably nasty threads in its history.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=421677&highlight=drunken+bitch) ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2007, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/56 "2007-09-23T22:33:49Z")
Anybody remember K.T. Oslin’s song, “Younger Men”? \*“Women peak at forty, and men at nineteen” I remember laughing my head off when I read that in a magazine (I was twenty at the time) Now I’m staring forty right in the face And the only trouble with being a woman my age, is the men my age. That’s why younger men are starting to catch my eye I’m starting to stop what I’m doing just to turn around and watch them walk by At the very next opportunity I’m gonna give a younger man a try Because younger men are starting to catch my eye\* (I had to clean up the grammar and spelling a bit here. I tried several different lyric sites, and it looks like they all copied the same mangled source.) ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2007, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/57 "2007-09-23T22:35:26Z")
[QUOTE=Phase42] (I had to clean up the grammar and spelling a bit here. I tried several different lyric sites, and it looks like they all copied the same mangled source.) [/QUOTE] Well, they’re presumably _country music fans_. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2007, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011/58 "2007-09-23T22:38:15Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Well, they’re presumably _country music fans_. 😉 [/QUOTE] Actually, judging by the way all the sites used the spelling “fourty”, I just assumed the lyrics were transcribed by a Brit. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-the-whole-cougar-meme-to-me/420011.md?page=2)