# Explain this headstone to me **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 30, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791 "2009-07-30T17:18:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791/101 "2014-07-28T13:09:59Z")
> [@48Willys](#): > > Irony? I guess that I am just dense today! Since “willy” is a euphemism for penis, they consider it ironic that you solved the mystery? ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791/102 "2014-07-28T13:43:27Z")
> [@buckgully](#): > > This is beautifully weird. > > So it’s the headstone that was ritually mutilated, not the person? And instead of just chiseling something out, they actually chiseled in ‘ritually mutilated’? Perhaps they were dictating? “Here may be found the last words of Roberta of Lukanen. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaarrrrggh.” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791/103 "2014-07-28T17:00:10Z")
Here lies the body of Mary Lee; died at the age of a hundred and three. For fifteen years she kept her virginity; not a bad record for this vicinity. ---
**Author:** ![Anduril](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Anduril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anduril)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2014, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791/104 "2014-07-29T23:54:27Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > The SDMB at its finest. True that. ---
**Author:** ![Isilder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Isilder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isilder)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791/105 "2014-07-30T00:31:06Z")
This is a grave issue, please keep that in mind. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791/106 "2014-07-30T01:33:35Z")
:: eyeroll :: Many thanks, **48Willys** , for finding out the real story. This was a fascinating thread. Spelling nitpick for others: it’s “cemetery.” ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791/107 "2014-07-30T02:21:44Z")
> [@runningdude](#): > > Yes. It is so common that I am actually surprised to learn that it is vanishingly rare elsewhere. I spotted just such a marker last week (was walking through a cemetery in Massachusetts). It had a list of family members, with dates of birth and death; the second-to-last didn’t have a date of death. The graveyard in question was old - deaths back to the mid to late 19th century. Many of the markers, surprisingly, had been replaced with modern-looking granite ones. The weirdest one I saw had a monument listing parents and their son who apparently died as a teenager. Nearby, a low-to-the-ground marker was where I presume the son was actually buried. It was a square about the size of a floor tile, about three inches thick, and his name was engraved on one of the 3-inch-thick edges. Upside down. I admit it doesn’t quite rank up there with the OP’s find, but it seemed mighty strange to me!! ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791/108 "2014-07-30T15:01:32Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > The weirdest one I saw had a monument listing parents and their son who apparently died as a teenager. Nearby, a low-to-the-ground marker was where I presume the son was actually buried. It was a square about the size of a floor tile, about three inches thick, and his name was engraved on one of the 3-inch-thick edges. > > Upside down. > > I admit it doesn’t quite rank up there with the OP’s find, but it seemed mighty strange to me!! Might have been a foot marker. I don’t know why, but in older cemeteries, foot markers seem to be pretty common. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791/109 "2014-07-30T15:21:20Z")
My dad’s been the secretary-treasurer of my small hometown’s cemetery assn. for many years. His favorite headstone, paid for by a not-so-grieving widower: _Forty years with a tongue so sharp; O angels! Give her a harp._ ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791/110 "2014-07-30T16:06:24Z")
We were in a cemetery in Michigan and noticed a family monument that listed 3 adults and 3 children. We figured that it must have been a car crash or fire, except I noticed that one of the adult’s date of death was a week prior to everyone else’s. We speculated for a long time as to what the circumstances were. It was unlikely that there was an accident where one person died immediately and 5 others died a week later on the same day. I did an internet search a while back, but found nothing. Years later it popped into my head and I did another search. This time I found some scanned newspaper articles on Google. Turns out the one person died in a motorcycle accident in California. The others (2 adults and 3 children) drove to the funeral from Florida, but their car broke down near New Orleans. They borrowed some money and bought airline tickets on Pan Am [Flight 759](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pan_Am_Flight_759). The article was how the parents went to California for their son’s funeral, then had to fly to New Orleans to identify the bodies of their daughters and grandchildren. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791/111 "2014-07-30T16:12:40Z")
> [@lost4life](#): > > Years later it popped into my head and I did another search. This time I found some scanned newspaper articles on Google. Turns out the one person died in a motorcycle accident in California. The others (2 adults and 3 children) drove to the funeral from Florida, but their car broke down near New Orleans. They borrowed some money and bought airline tickets on Pan Am [Flight 759](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pan_Am_Flight_759). The article was how the parents went to California for their son’s funeral, then had to fly to New Orleans to identify the bodies of their daughters and grandchildren. Wow. What a horrible story. I thought I’s never hear anything worse than the Tylenol funeral, but that beats it by a mile. After the funeral of one of the victims of the Chicago Tylenol poisoner, his family was gathered at his apartment, and a couple of them were overcome by the situation (and probably lack of sleep), and developed headaches, so they went looking through their deceased relative’s medicine cabinet… ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791/112 "2014-07-30T16:23:20Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Wow. What a horrible story. I thought I’s never hear anything worse than the Tylenol funeral, but that beats it by a mile. After the funeral of one of the victims of the Chicago Tylenol poisoner, his family was gathered at his apartment, and a couple of them were overcome by the situation (and probably lack of sleep), and developed headaches, so they went looking through their deceased relative’s medicine cabinet… Yeah, it kind of haunts me once in a while. When you feel shit’s being piled on you, think of these people. [Here’s](http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1988&dat=19820712&id=4k8iAAAAIBAJ&sjid=Kq0FAAAAIBAJ&pg=1213,754393) the story I found. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791/113 "2014-07-30T16:32:46Z")
And now, on top of all that tragedy, I’m totally creeped out by the story at the bottom of the page about the guy caught bathing in the baptismal font. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2015, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791/114 "2015-06-02T14:38:56Z")
Bumped. My dad just sent me a photo of a married couple’s tombstone in a rural North Carolina cemetery. Above the wife’s name it reads _Good Woman_. Above the husband’s name, _So So Man_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-headstone-to-me/504791.md?page=5)