# Explain this joke involving a Derbyshire accent

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-joke-involving-a-derbyshire-accent/718878>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [April 30, 2015, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-joke-involving-a-derbyshire-accent/718878 "2015-04-30T10:01:41Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![psychonaut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psychonaut/32/4655_2.png) [@psychonaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychonaut)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-joke-involving-a-derbyshire-accent/718878/1 "2015-04-30T10:01:41Z")

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Could someone please explain [this joke](https://twitter.com/DanielAustin/status/156034562974154752) which apparently involves a Derbyshire accent?

> [@](#):
>
> A fellow boarded a train at Ilkeston and found himself in a compartment with three other men. As the train pulled out of the station, he began to fumble in his pockets. Then, turning to the first passenger he said:  
> “An yo gorra match?”  
> “Neow”  
> He turned to the next man:  
> “An yo gorra match?”  
> “Neow”  
> He turned to the third man:  
> “An yo gorra match?”  
> “Neow”  
> In despair he cried:  
> “Antonyonyuhonyonyuh?”

I assume the guy who got on the train is asking the other passengers if they have a match, to which they respond in the negative. But I can’t parse the punchline.

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**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-joke-involving-a-derbyshire-accent/718878/2 "2015-04-30T10:12:18Z")

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“Ain’t any of you any on you?”

i.e. “Haven’t any of you people any matches on you?”

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**Author:** ![jezzaOZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a9a28c/32.png) [@jezzaOZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jezzaOZ)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-joke-involving-a-derbyshire-accent/718878/3 "2015-04-30T11:16:25Z")

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How do you tell the difference between an Australian and a New Zealander?

Ask them what’s a Hindu?

If they answer “Lays Eggs” you’ve got your Kiwi.

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**Author:** ![Ken001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Ken001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ken001)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-this-joke-involving-a-derbyshire-accent/718878/4 "2015-04-30T12:32:06Z")

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(Cheeky bugger)

Nnd the number sex is wut Awstryans do wiv sheep.