# Explain to me about the red plastic testicles on the back of this truck **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2007, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760 "2007-04-04T20:15:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/21 "2007-04-04T21:57:30Z")
God how repulsive. Boys are weird. ---
**Author:** ![Aioua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@Aioua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aioua)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/22 "2007-04-04T21:59:37Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Wow. I’ve never seen this before. Is this another Southern thing? [/QUOTE] I’ve seen them several times up here is Seattle. So I guess not. They’re pretty good for a round of :rolleyes:, though. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/23 "2007-04-04T22:00:58Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Wow. I’ve never seen this before. Is this another Southern thing? [/QUOTE] I see these constantly, all over the Orlando area! Of course, I’m constantly driving around for work. ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/24 "2007-04-04T22:01:35Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Wow. I’ve never seen this before. Is this another Southern thing? [/QUOTE] Apparently not, if they’ve got them as far north as Illinois. Thank God I haven’t seen any up here. I can think of a few of my trashier friends I knew back in the Vegas area who would’ve loved these, though. Perhaps part of the reason I haven’t seen any here is that we’re very rural. I know far too many people with real experience castrating bulls that’d just jump at the chance to tackle a larger animal. Or, y’know, there’s some sort of “common decency” here, but I like my theory better. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/25 "2007-04-04T22:16:19Z")
The times I’ve seen them, the second thing I’ve thought (first being, “My, what an asshole”) is how teeny they are. I mean, I haven’t gotten a close up look, but from a car’s length behind they look about the size of human nads. A Ford F150 is prolly about the size of an average rhino, and as anyone whose ever seen a male rhino can attest, their nads are very much bigger than a human’s. So the message I get from a pair of truck nads is: I am an asshole with tiny, shriveled nads. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/26 "2007-04-04T22:19:36Z")
[QUOTE=Big Bad Voodoo Lou] I see these constantly, all over the Orlando area! Of course, I’m constantly driving around for work. [/QUOTE] Dude, another Orlando doper! We gotta hang out sometime 😃 ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/27 "2007-04-04T22:26:16Z")
They are there to say “If it isn’t clear enough that I am substituting a giant truck for my (horribly ineffective) phallus, I would like to add some testes behind and below the truck to make it painfully obvious” ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/28 "2007-04-04T22:35:15Z")
Wow what a coincidence, I saw them for the first time yesterday. Silver they was. My first and only thought was WTF :dubious: These must be guys who are seriously lacking in the wife/girlfriend area. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/29 "2007-04-04T22:41:48Z")
I’ve seen them a couple of times here in California. Not as common as the Calvin peeing on (insert “rival” truck logo here). Some truck drivers apparently have one-track minds. Then there’s the (much less offensive) “Silly Boys, Trucks are for Girls” bumperstickers, just to confuse things. ---
**Author:** ![tashabot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tashabot/32/6250_2.png) [@tashabot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tashabot)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/30 "2007-04-04T23:42:45Z")
I used to have a pair for my little tiny car. It was a 1990 Mitsubishi Mirage hatchback. I loved that car, and I felt it deserved balls. 🙂 Everyone always did a double take. ~Tasha ---
**Author:** ![enigm4tic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@enigm4tic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigm4tic)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/31 "2007-04-04T23:51:33Z")
I know a guy who has these on his truck and he’s exactly the kind of guy who would hang large plastic testicles from his truck. Namely, loud, brash, outgoing, heavy drinking loudmouth sonofabitch who’s hilarious to hang out with for same (since he’s not an outright jerk, just loud) ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/32 "2007-04-05T00:11:09Z")
Horns mounted over the radiator are aesthetically balanced by balls hanging from the hitch at the back. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/33 "2007-04-05T00:23:30Z")
Wow! Never seen 'em before. Do they actually move and or swing back and forth, or are they rigid plastic? Are they more or less the same consistency as, uh, the real thing? ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/34 "2007-04-05T00:38:41Z")
21st century equivalent of the Calvin pissing on the Ford/Chevy logo. Safe to assume reduced IQ for driver. Tacky beyond expression. Careful, this person might show up to a wedding in a tuxedo t-shirt. Plus, if they are metaphorical balls, they’re tiny on a truck. ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/35 "2007-04-05T00:38:59Z")
Just when you think you’ve seen the ultimate in stupidity, somebody tops it. ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/36 "2007-04-05T02:17:48Z")
o/~ do they wobble to and fro / can you tie a knot in them o/~ ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/37 "2007-04-05T02:47:43Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] Wow! Never seen 'em before. Do they actually move and or swing back and forth, or are they rigid plastic? Are they more or less the same consistency as, uh, the real thing? [/QUOTE] They were, uh, swingin’ and swayin’. However, never having fondled a genuine pair of bull testicles, I wouldn’t know whether they were the same consistency as the real thing. It pains me, to think of all the things I’ve never done in this life, like fondle a bull’s scrotum… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/38 "2007-04-05T03:14:53Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] Are they more or less the same consistency as, uh, the real thing? [/QUOTE] One should not show too much interest in this sort of thing, Captain. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/39 "2007-04-05T03:28:15Z")
[QUOTE=whole bean] [scroll down here](http://bullsballs.com/) [/QUOTE] Kalhoun, aren’t you sorry you asked? lol lol lol ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/40 "2007-04-05T03:31:51Z")
[QUOTE=Hampshire] It’s a lame-o attempt to show how tough their truck is. As in “my truck has balls”. [/QUOTE] Nah. It’s a lame-o attempt to show how macho the driver is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760.md?page=3)