# Explain to me about the red plastic testicles on the back of this truck **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2007, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760 "2007-04-04T20:15:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/61 "2007-04-05T19:59:23Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] If they’re going to do something that stupid, why not put a little [scrunchie](http://www.ebuni.com/images/indexpage/scrunchies.jpg) around the exhaust too? [/QUOTE] Best. Linked Picture Gag. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/62 "2007-04-05T22:39:49Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] Man, you _are_ a SmartAleq! 🙂 [/QUOTE] Yup, I most certainly am! And I know nobody requested it, but as I was out grubbing up the garden and building trellises I just had to finish it, so: \*Don’t you wish you had a penis? Don’t you wish you had some balls? But instead you bought that giant truck to prove that you don’t play with dolls! It has a ninety two inch lift kit It’s cute to watch you clamber out Dude, save yourself a grip of money, buy a twelve inch dildo, the next time your manhood is in doubt!\* Thank you, thank you! I’ll be here all week! Be sure to tip your waitress and hey, try the chicken… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/63 "2007-04-05T23:40:35Z")
I’ve never heard of them either. If I saw one in a guy’s truck, I might think it’s some kind of gay cruising symbol, saying, “I’m lookin’ for a pair of THESE!” Kind of like that one earring thing from way back. I can’t remember which ear meant straight and which meant gay. But BOTH balls? 110% gay. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/64 "2007-04-06T00:03:23Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] If I saw one in a guy’s truck, I might think it’s some kind of gay cruising symbol, [/QUOTE] I believe we should start an urban legend to that effect, like gang members killing people who return their head light flashes. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/65 "2007-04-06T00:35:08Z")
[Monty Python got there first:](http://www.metrolyrics.com/lyrics/62634/Monty_Python/Isn't_It_Awfully_Nice_To_Have_A_Penis) > [@](#): > > Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis. > Isn’t it simply grand to have a dong. > It’s swell to have a stiffy, it’s divine to own a dick, > From the tiniest little tadger to the world’s biggest prick Etc. Anyway, it’s about time there was a reply to the “bumper bullets” on Fifties Cadillacs. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/66 "2007-04-06T01:12:13Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] I believe we should start an urban legend to that effect, like gang members killing people who return their head light flashes. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Ooooh, I _like_ this. \ ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/67 "2007-04-06T01:42:18Z")
this has given me a great idea! Some form of chrome sphincter that can fit over the exhaust pipe for the gay red necks! Think it will sell? regards FML ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/68 "2007-04-06T01:55:51Z")
[QUOTE=Full Metal Lotus] …chrome sphincter… [/QUOTE] Words I never ever expected to read together. Therefore… _Band name!_ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/69 "2007-04-06T03:34:22Z")
[QUOTE=Full Metal Lotus] this has given me a great idea! Some form of chrome sphincter that can fit over the exhaust pipe for the gay red necks! Think it will sell? regards FML [/QUOTE] Based on [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=415301), I’d say yes. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/70 "2007-04-06T14:15:58Z")
We see these a lot out here in the West – lots of ag types have ‘em on their pickups as a joke. My in-laws are cattle people and brothers-in-law have them on their pickups. They have big diesel Dodge duallies for rammin’ around out in the pasture, pulling stock trailers and other stuff they do all the time. I’m an urban type who works in radio, but my wife and I live out on our own little plot of ground on the farm/ranch/whatever … I have a dinky little Ford Ranger pickup, and last Christmas my brother-in-law gave me a set of truck balls as a gag gift. I put 'em on for a little while, but took them off when I started going back to graduate school. They hang in my shop now. It was cute. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/71 "2007-04-06T14:29:17Z")
You all know that the people that put these on theire vehicles are kidding right? They may be pricks in general but it is a shock tactic and it is supposed to be funny in that light. It is pretty weird to think that even the dimmest rednecks among us would put them on for any semi-serious reason. Has anyone come up with rubber udders for female cars yet? The idea just struck me and that would be cool. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/72 "2007-04-06T14:56:43Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] You all know that the people that put these on theire vehicles are kidding right? Has anyone come up with rubber udders for female cars yet? The idea just struck me and that would be cool. [/QUOTE] I think both ot those rank right up there with a loud sound system to justify RPGs. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/73 "2007-04-18T12:06:50Z")
I’m resurrecting this not-very old thread, because I just stumbled across this news item from last month: > [@](#): > > Bill To Ban Fake Testicles, Vulgarity Dies > > Gonads and other doodads won’t be banned from Maryland trucks. > > State House lawmakers effectively killed a bill to outlaw fake bull testicles and other anatomically explicit vehicle decorations that truckers dangle from the trailer hitches of their pickups. > > Delegate LeRoy Myers Jr. proposed the measure, saying children shouldn’t have to be exposed to such explicit truck decorations. The bill also would have banned mudflaps with depictions of naked human breasts, buttocks or genitals, with offenses punishable by fines of up to $500. > > Chairman Hattie Harrison, a Democrat from Baltimore County, said, “It simply didn’t come up for a vote.” > > Myers told The Washington Post Thursday, “We have movie ratings and V-chips, and I don’t see why this doesn’t fall into the same category.” From here, dated March 9: [http://www.nowpublic.com/bill\_to\_ban\_fake\_testicles\_vulgarity\_dies](http://www.nowpublic.com/bill_to_ban_fake_testicles_vulgarity_dies) ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/74 "2007-04-18T15:26:24Z")
I’m arriving late to this thread, but what happens when one of these pickups gets tailgated by an Edsel? Does the Edsel’s radiator start leaking? Do the pickup’s neuticals start dragging the road? More importantly, is this one of those moments where my sense of humor is not greatly appreciated? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/75 "2007-04-18T15:39:52Z")
These are supposed to be funny? They just look sad, to me. I’ve never seen this in RL (and the thought of silver balls makes me slightly nauseated), but they are not porportional to the vehicle. I think two things: 1. that the folks who say this is a compensation are most likely right for most er, consumers of this product. and 1. that even if they are not compensating, they have revealed a maturity level that I don’t want anything to do with, in any way. (IOW, this will not impress girls regarding taste, wit, or physical attributes). I am left with this: 😕 :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/76 "2007-04-18T15:56:22Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] (IOW, this will not impress girls regarding taste, wit, or physical attributes). [/QUOTE] Of course not, and should actually serve as a form of birth control and therefor natural selection. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/77 "2007-04-18T16:05:19Z")
Evidently someone tried to ban Nude Lady mudflaps, too: [http://unclebear.com/comments.php?id=P3276\_0\_1\_0](http://unclebear.com/comments.php?id=P3276_0_1_0) ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2007, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/78 "2007-04-18T16:13:47Z")
[QUOTE=pimaspinner] I’m in North Carolina and I have never, ever, seen these before. It’s kind of funny, but no truck drivin’ son-of-a-gun that I know would be caught dead with these on his truck. [/QUOTE] Yeah, I’ve never seen them in Georgia either. I’d say it is decidedly _not_ a Southern thang. Just the opposite. It strikes me as too sexually crude for these parts. (Having said that, I’m sure they’ll soon start turning up by the sackful around here.) ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/79 "2008-01-16T02:48:13Z")
“Good lord, who bumped _this_, and why?” Me. [Virginia Lawmaker Seeks to Ban Replica Testicles on Trailer Hitches.](http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,323026,00.html) > [@](#): > > State Del. Lionel Spruill introduced a bill Tuesday to ban displaying replicas of human genitalia on vehicles, calling it a safety issue because it could distract other drivers. > > Under his measure, displaying the ornamentation on a motor vehicle would be a misdemeanor punishable by a maximum fine of $250. > > He said the idea came from a constituent whose young daughter spotted an example of the trail hitch adornment and asked her father to explain it. > > “'I didn’t know what to tell her,”’ Spruill said the constituent told him before Spruill vowed to stop such displays. Words fail me. Your Tax Dollars At Work. At all costs, we must protect our Youth from the dangers of ever having to know what testicles are. :rolleyes: Now, if he proposed banning them from outrage at the uglification of America, I could get behind that, but just so somebody somewhere will be saved from ever having to 'splain to a kid that boys have bits that hang down, and those are plastic versions of those bits, and no, I don’t know why that man has them hanging from his trailer hitch? Nah. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760/80 "2008-01-16T03:38:49Z")
I’ve never seen replicas of human genitalia on vehicles, only of bulls. Don’t think this one’s going to have much effect. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explain-to-me-about-the-red-plastic-testicles-on-the-back-of-this-truck/398760.md?page=5)