# Explicit cupcakes (Or, I think I'm done with my eyes now) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 4, 2016, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918 "2016-03-04T13:02:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/1 "2016-03-04T13:02:25Z")
One of the girls in my office is leaving today on maternity leave. To celebrate, she brought trays of cupcakes. The cakes on two of the trays were decorated with two variations on the theme: little baby faces peeking out from between (moderately realistic) labia. (One tray was realistic in its depiction of wrinkles and folds. The other, in the addition of chocolate strands sticking out to look like stubbly pubes. I have now seen everything. Where do I go to hand my eyes in? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/2 "2016-03-04T13:22:09Z")
I have seen pictures of those; no sightings in the wild. Did you eat one? ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/3 "2016-03-04T13:56:41Z")
When you have to go in for hemorrhoid or vasectomy surgery make sure you bring in appropriately decorated cupcakes to celebrate. If anyone complains say "What? I thought thats what we did here?’. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/4 "2016-03-04T13:57:00Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I have seen pictures of those; no sightings in the wild. > > Did you eat one? No, I just poked it a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/5 "2016-03-04T14:11:40Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > No, I just poked it a bit. So you’ve seen everything, but you haven’t eaten everything? Hand in your user name. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/6 "2016-03-04T14:23:37Z")
Did they look like this? Sanitized for the Board’s protection [https://www.google.com/search?q=baby+birthing+cupcakes&biw=1920&bih=934&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjR-KmynafLAhUJt4MKHYq8ANcQsAQIHg#imgrc=dSKZ6bKlR7EY3M%3A](https://www.google.com/search?q=baby+birthing+cupcakes&biw=1920&bih=934&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjR-KmynafLAhUJt4MKHYq8ANcQsAQIHg#imgrc=dSKZ6bKlR7EY3M%3A) The upper one looks pretty freaky. Or this? This one’s arguably SFW[spoiler][https://www.google.com/search?q=baby+birthing+cupcakes&biw=1920&bih=934&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj1\_6z5nafLAhVnmoMKHejOBDEQ\_AUIBigB#imgrc=TEwJLuXQYGzB3M%3A[/spoiler]](https://www.google.com/search?q=baby+birthing+cupcakes&biw=1920&bih=934&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj1_6z5nafLAhVnmoMKHejOBDEQ_AUIBigB#imgrc=TEwJLuXQYGzB3M%3A%5B/spoiler%5D) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/7 "2016-03-04T14:26:48Z")
How about these? Only one shows cupcakes, but the rest show – uhh – possibilities [spoiler] Isn’t this fun? [spoiler] [http://www.mommyish.com/2013/10/14/vagina-cakes/](http://www.mommyish.com/2013/10/14/vagina-cakes/) [http://www.mommyish.com/2013/10/24/vagina-cakes-2/](http://www.mommyish.com/2013/10/24/vagina-cakes-2/) [/spoiler] [/spoiler] Some of those are pretty scary. Kinda like John Carpenter’s _Thing_ is giving birth. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/8 "2016-03-04T14:31:18Z")
Why would someone bring those to a workplace? Very unprofessional. BTW, what if a man brought in a penis cake? Imagine the lawsuits. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/9 "2016-03-04T14:32:23Z")
I can’t help it – this is as compelling as watching a slow-motion collision or something. These are even worse: [http://www.somuchviral.com/30-baby-shower-cakes/](http://www.somuchviral.com/30-baby-shower-cakes/) ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/10 "2016-03-04T14:37:21Z")
Oh my eyes! Where is that bottle of brain bleach? Ow, ow, ow. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/11 "2016-03-04T14:45:56Z")
I really would not be able to eat such a thing. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/12 "2016-03-04T14:56:22Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Why would someone bring those to a workplace? Very unprofessional. > > BTW, what if a man brought in a penis cake? Imagine the lawsuits. An employee (female) brought in penis-pops leftover from a friend’s bachelorette party. Yeah, work was weird that day with everyone walking around sucking on penis. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/13 "2016-03-04T19:17:53Z")
They normally do it kneeling? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/14 "2016-03-04T21:07:05Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > No, I just poked it a bit. Like in American Pie? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2016, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/15 "2016-03-05T01:25:09Z")
That sounds pretty interesting, but come on, why would you not post pics? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2016, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/16 "2016-03-05T07:04:22Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > No, I just poked it a bit. With what? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2016, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/17 "2016-03-05T07:12:47Z")
I must admit that I have never been in the same room with explicit or provocative pastries, candies or cakes. But there was this pumpkin carver I knew once who could do some amazing designs. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2016, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/18 "2016-03-05T09:23:04Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > That sounds pretty interesting, but come on, why would you not post pics? Yeah, I should have done that. Fortunately, the cakes were not as graphic as many of the linked examples. There wasn’t anything representing blood. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2016, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/19 "2016-03-05T09:26:36Z")
**Cal** the links in your first post were survivable, the links in the third post I’m too scared to look at, and the (especially the first one)links in your second post, that’s just, that’s just NO! that’s just WRONG! ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2016, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918/20 "2016-03-05T10:06:16Z")
upon review of the links in **CalMeacham’s** first and second and viewing the links in the third post with the emotional support of Mrs. Guest, it is safe to say that cake will not be eaten ever again in the guesthouse without a mental shudder from the Mrs. or myself. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/explicit-cupcakes-or-i-think-im-done-with-my-eyes-now/747918.md?page=2)