# Extend a fortune cookie aphorism **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [November 11, 2013, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648 "2013-11-11T15:22:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/1 "2013-11-11T15:22:22Z")
This could be fun, maybe? Inspired by my own post in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16838096&posted=1#post16838096). Aphorism provided by **DrFidelius** > [@](#): > > You cannot wake a man who is pretending to be asleep, except by climbing on top of him and prying his eyes open, all while shrieking ‘DaddyDaddyDaddyDaddy!’ with maniacal glee I guess to keep it rolling each poster should provide an aphorism for the next poster (either from an actual cookie, or invented). I’ll start: “A closed mouth catches no flies.” ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/2 "2013-11-11T15:31:35Z")
> [@](#): > > A closed mouth catches no flies. However, neither does it let them out. A fool and his money are soon parted ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/3 "2013-11-11T16:24:57Z")
> [@](#): > > A fool and his money are soon parted. Also his hair, but that could be more accurately called a comb-over. I also thought of one for my last offering: > [@](#): > > A closed mouth catches no flies, unlike young Danny’s privates. > > “And that, son,” my father recounted years later, “is why you should never zip up too hastily.” (A horrifying true story.) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder… ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/4 "2013-11-11T16:35:41Z")
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder… As well as instant death, petrification, and assorted other unpleasant fates. EDIT: Oh, I need to add another one– A rolling stone gathers no moss. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/5 "2013-11-11T16:42:12Z")
…because you can’t get high off moss. A penny saved is a penny earned… ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/6 "2013-11-11T18:03:08Z")
…, or more like a 40th of a cent, should anyone still be repeating these words after 280 years of inflation," Ben Franklin wrote, adding “Seriously, don’t even bother.” Time heals all wounds… ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/7 "2013-11-11T18:08:30Z")
… well, except those that kill you. Can’t heal from death! The beginning of wisdom is the definition of terms… ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/8 "2013-11-11T18:10:53Z")
Time heals all wounds… Except the ones inflicted by a falling cuckoo clock. I will have to leave JohnT’s for someone else…since my wisdom seems not to have begun. ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/9 "2013-11-11T21:31:33Z")
…, as Noah Webster once said. Brevity is the soul of wit… ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/10 "2013-11-12T00:01:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Brevity is the soul of wit…but sometimes you gotta just let that shit out, conversationally. I mean, you can’t keep your words bottle up inside forever! Man, you would explode. Take my friend Arnie, he would never talk even thought we knew he just _wanted_ to say something… Early to bed Early to rise ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/11 "2013-11-12T04:12:01Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > Early to bed Early to rise …usually doesn’t give one much of a social life. Conquer your fears or they will conquer you. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/12 "2013-11-12T14:32:59Z")
> [@Hoopy\_Frood](#): > > Conquer your fears or they will conquer you. After conquering your fears, roller coasters won’t be fun any more. Too many cooks spoil the soup. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/13 "2013-11-12T15:05:52Z")
…Too many cooks spoil the soup. At least that’s what Jeffery Dahmer told me. Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man… ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/14 "2013-11-12T16:52:24Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man… fall asleep halfway through Monday Night Football. An apple a day keeps… ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/15 "2013-11-12T17:05:07Z")
An apple a day keeps… getting the peel stuck between your teeth. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/16 "2013-11-12T17:31:58Z")
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. But then give it a rest. Only an idiot keeps beating his head against the wall forever.” “A thing of beauty is a joy forever.” ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/17 "2013-11-13T17:35:09Z")
“A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Nothing lasts forever. Therefore, by modus tollens, your momma so ugly.” To err is human. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/18 "2013-11-13T17:53:43Z")
To err is human. Blaming it on someone else is politics. Look before you leap. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/19 "2013-11-14T16:16:35Z")
Look before you leap- make sure you land on someone you really dislike. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extend-a-fortune-cookie-aphorism/673648/20 "2013-11-17T01:43:47Z")
Love means never having to say you’re sorry; it means saying, “Hey, Baby … Let me buy you this huge diamond ring to make it up to you!” Absence makes the heart grow fonder.