# Extremely pissed over something very very small. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 29, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417 "2013-12-29T17:35:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/21 "2013-12-30T05:33:13Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Well, let’s see. Maybe because: > > 1. You didn’t tell her it meant so much to you, and she killed it because she saw a spider in the shower? > > 2. You are transferring your hatred over the divorce into the killing of a spider that you somehow made an emotional connection to? > > 3. You are behaving irrationally because it’s only a damn spider? My behavior is ok, it just pissed me off internally. I know it is just a dam spider, thats why I am so puzzled as to why it affected me so much. I enjoyed the spider but had no real connection to it, well not a big connection anyway. My anger doesn’t feel so much directed at her as much as why people just can’t leave my shit alone type feeling. ---
**Author:** ![brickbacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/22 "2013-12-30T05:55:59Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I had told her about the spider before, I am certain she knew about it, I think she just got fed up with seeing the cob web above my shower and figured it wasn’t that important. It is actually not the first spider she killed. Several months ago she washed my kitchen curtain that had a pet jumping spider living in the rod pocket. I didn’t really blame her for that one as it was an honest mistake. Why are you keeping pests in your house as pets? More importantly, why are you so emotionally attached to them? Either way, if you don’t get along with your ex, stop having her clean your house. ---
**Author:** ![Alba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@Alba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alba)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/23 "2013-12-30T08:44:02Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > My behavior is ok, it just pissed me off internally. I know it is just a dam spider, thats why I am so puzzled as to why it affected me so much. I enjoyed the spider but had no real connection to it, well not a big connection anyway. My anger doesn’t feel so much directed at her as much as why people just can’t leave my shit alone type feeling. I think it is because you don’t want people messing with how you’ve setup certain things. I’m assuming you’re a bit older and live alone. You have a certain routine in your house and if that gets messed up it bothers you. Or what \*\*scootergirl \*\*said. I’m more inclined to her version, but wanted to give a different view as well. Or maybe it’s a combination of the two. > [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > **Perhaps because it is symbolic of all the other stuff that you have stoically endured over the years.** If you have white-knuckled your emotions through all the other losses and betrayals in your life (for reasons that might seem all well and good to you), you might have a deep well of residual anger which, while normally kept under control, can be tapped by a seemingly small thing. > > The condition I describe is responsible, in my opinion, for a lot of ugly incidents caused by uncharacteristic explosions of anger. Of the type that are followed by comments like “He was always so quiet and nice!” > > If anything like this is going on, I recommend getting some help in expressing both your current and stored-up anger (and other feelings) in harmless or even productive ways. Stuffing your feelings can also result in health problems down the road. > Roddy Is there actually some scientific research behind this? To me it feels like a “leftover” from times that the popular opinion was that criminals were born criminals. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/24 "2013-12-30T10:17:19Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > My behavior is ok, it just pissed me off internally. I know it is just a dam spider, thats why I am so puzzled as to why it affected me so much. I enjoyed the spider but had no real connection to it, well not a big connection anyway. My anger doesn’t feel so much directed at her as much as why people just can’t leave my shit alone type feeling. Why respond to someone who obviously didn’t even bother to read the thread, where you indicated that you told her about the spider? Especially when, despite not reading the thread, the person prejudged you as being a jerk? Does that sound like the type of person who has any insight to add to the situation? But, anyways: talk to her. Tell her that this is bothering you, and tell her that you don’t want to pay for a cleaning lady who will keep on cleaning the things you don’t want cleaned. Be nice but assertive about it. And if she does do something like this again, kick her out. You don’t owe your ex a way to make extra money. Unless, of course, you are paying her much less than you’d have to pay a normal cleaning person. In that case, decide which is more important, the clean house for low money or the pets you keep. ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/25 "2013-12-30T11:31:31Z")
Kinda reminds me of when my ex left, taking a load of stuff but leaving the goldfish, which went a week later. I thought she was gonna leave it and in that short week grew slightly attached to it. I think it was because it was the only other \*living \*thing in the house. ---
**Author:** ![vontsira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/51bf81/32.png) [@vontsira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vontsira)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/26 "2013-12-30T11:53:12Z")
> [@scootergirl](#): > > By the way, daddy longlegs belong to the Opiliones group, they are not actually “spiders,” though they are similar to spiders in various ways. One difference is that they have **penises**. > Aha! Perhaps we are getting close to the cause of your upset! Freud, would say.:rolleyes: > [@EmilyG](#): > > **Common house spiders are often called daddy longlegs as well** , though they’re not the same as the true daddy-longlegs found outside. Not in the UK: here, “daddy longlegs” refers only to “the true daddy-longlegs found outside” (the cranefly, type of insect in the family _Tipulidae)_. (Sorry, OP: we know you’re seeking thoughts on your issues with your exwife and your feelings about them – not entomology / arachnology / language use.) ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/27 "2013-12-30T13:46:02Z")
> [@scootergirl](#): > > By the way, daddy longlegs belong to the Opiliones group, they are not actually “spiders,” though they are similar to spiders in various ways. One difference is that they have **penises**. > Aha! Perhaps we are getting close to the cause of your upset! Freud, would say.:rolleyes: > [@vontsira](#): > > Not in the UK: here, “daddy longlegs” refers only to “the true daddy-longlegs found outside” (the cranefly, type of insect in the family _Tipulidae)_. (Sorry, OP: we know you’re seeking thoughts on your issues with your exwife and your feelings about them – not entomology / arachnology / language use.) I disagree. My first assumption was that we were talking about some kind of [pholcid](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pholcidae), which are actual spiders, as opposed to Opiliones/harvestmen. I’ve never seen a harvestman living indoors that I remember. > [@brickbacon](#): > > Why are you keeping pests in your house as pets? More importantly, why are you so emotionally attached to them? Either way, if you don’t get along with your ex, stop having her clean your house. What harm can a spider do if it’s not venomous? They eat genuine pests. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/28 "2013-12-30T13:48:07Z")
> [@vontsira](#): > > Not in the UK: here, “daddy longlegs” refers only to “the true daddy-longlegs found outside” (the cranefly, type of insect in the family _Tipulidae)_. This is incorrect. Your definition is certainly the more common one in my experience of UK terminology, but this usage is not exclusive. Daddy Long Legs may also refer to spindly arachnids (of possibly more than one group) here. ---
**Author:** ![FXMastermind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fxmastermind/32/7289_2.png) [@FXMastermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FXMastermind)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/29 "2013-12-30T14:15:14Z")
And so it begins … ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/30 "2013-12-30T14:43:36Z")
It’s not even a relevant argument. The OP is not in the UK, as far as I know. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/31 "2013-12-30T14:55:18Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > It’s not even a relevant argument. The OP is not in the UK, as far as I know. Los Angeles here, the things I call daddy long legs have a body less than 1/4" across on a very big one with leg span of over 3". I believe they are the spider that is primarily responsible for cob webs. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/32 "2013-12-30T15:06:32Z")
> [@FXMastermind](#): > > Just get another spider Get another **housekeeper**. ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/33 "2013-12-30T15:12:52Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > It’s not even a relevant argument. The OP is not in the UK, as far as I know. It’s a little interesting. If **HoneyBadgerDC** doesn’t like it, I expect everyone involved will stop. Otherwise, tangents are natural and to be expected. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/34 "2013-12-30T15:17:00Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > Get another **housekeeper**. Pleasepleaseplease do this immediately. You do not need your ex in your house periodically being around your stuff and going through your stuff. And yes the spider thing is like the dog thing and both of them make me so furious I want to hunt her down and slap her and I don’t even know the woman! FIRE HER AS YOUR HOUSEKEEPER. You know her. You know her values and they are not the same as yours in this area. Hire someone else and tell them, “Don’t kill any spiders or anything else except cockroaches.” Why on earth you would keep letting someone into the intimate places in your life when she hurt you so badly? Getting rid of someone’s dog is a capital offense in my book. Fire her. Today. Take away her key and change the locks for good measure. You know exactly why you’re so mad and it’s NOT something small. You know how I know it’s not something small? \*Because you’re still mad. \* ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/35 "2013-12-30T15:29:34Z")
> [@scootergirl](#): > > One difference is that they have **penises**. Now I know why they’re called “Daddy” Long Legs. ---
**Author:** ![FXMastermind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fxmastermind/32/7289_2.png) [@FXMastermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FXMastermind)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/36 "2013-12-30T15:47:33Z")
Such a perfect time for a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/37 "2013-12-30T15:48:44Z")
My condolences, Honeybadger, but your spider is in a better place now, sitting peacefully with Jesus. Whether insect or arachnid, he was just too good for this world ☹ ---
**Author:** ![FXMastermind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fxmastermind/32/7289_2.png) [@FXMastermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FXMastermind)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/38 "2013-12-30T15:51:09Z")
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. ‘Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?’ she asked. ‘They’re mating,’ her father replied. ‘What do you call the spider on top?’ she asked. ‘That’s a Daddy Longlegs,’ her father answered. ‘So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?’ the little girl asked. As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, ‘No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.’ 'The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped them flat… ‘Well, we’re not having any of that shit’ ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/39 "2013-12-30T15:57:51Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Why on earth you would keep letting someone into the intimate places in your life when she hurt you so badly? Getting rid of someone’s dog is a capital offense in my book. > > Fire her. Today. Take away her key and change the locks for good measure. Unless there was a typo in the OP the divorce was 24 years ago. This is not some recent open wound. Their relationship is very long and probably a lot more complex than what we are hearing. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/40 "2013-12-30T16:04:52Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > Get another **housekeeper**. I have to agree with this. I am friends with my ex too, but I wouldn’t want her in my house all the time. Her being around would just be a constant reminder of the issues that ended the relationship. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417.md?page=3)