# Extremely pissed over something very very small. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 29, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417 "2013-12-29T17:35:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/41 "2013-12-30T16:35:37Z")
The divorce was so long ago I don’t even look at her like an ex wife anymore. I kind of see her as a slightly tweaked family member. I have a little bit of the tree hugger mentality while she has the tough farmer type mentality. No doubt she thinks I am a bit loony for keeping a spider. While we were married I could honestly say that in 20 years we never had one single heart to heart talk about anything. It is surprising how well people can get along when they keep things superficial almost like a working relationship. Five or six years before the divorce I decided that we would learn to communicate or split. The shit hit the fan and there was no turning back. ``` Now every morning she calls to have her coffee chat, we talk about just about everything. We never, not once have brought up our marriage or our relationship. I feel like if I were to cut her off from communications she might go off the deep end as she seems to hover on the edge most of the time anyway. I really don't mind as long as she respects my space. I won't bring this incident up because it happened over a year ago but I will be very clear about what to touch or not touch in the future. I appreciate all the responses even the ones making light as it is really a very small issue. ``` ---
**Author:** ![vontsira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/51bf81/32.png) [@vontsira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vontsira)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/42 "2013-12-30T16:40:38Z")
> [@vontsira](#): > > Not in the UK: here, “daddy longlegs” refers only to “the true daddy-longlegs found outside” (the cranefly, type of insect in the family _Tipulidae)_. > [@Mangetout](#): > > This is incorrect. Your definition is certainly the more common one in my experience of UK terminology, but this usage is not exclusive. Daddy Long Legs may also refer to spindly arachnids (of possibly more than one group) here. OK – thanks. I fell into the error of imagining that my own personal experience, held good for all my compatriots ! ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/43 "2013-12-30T16:48:12Z")
If you are going to have other people cleaning your house, you should probably keep your insectoid pets in their own habitats. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/44 "2013-12-30T17:36:55Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > The divorce was so long ago I don’t even look at her like an ex wife anymore. I kind of see her as a slightly tweaked family member. I have a little bit of the tree hugger mentality while she has the tough farmer type mentality. No doubt she thinks I am a bit loony for keeping a spider. > While we were married I could honestly say that in 20 years we never had one single heart to heart talk about anything. It is surprising how well people can get along when they keep things superficial almost like a working relationship. Five or six years before the divorce I decided that we would learn to communicate or split. The shit hit the fan and there was no turning back. If you were so over it and it were now so superficial, you wouldn’t have started a thread asking why you’re EXTREMELY PISSED over something small that obviously isn’t small. If the spider had been killed by a plumber would you be this mad? > [@](#): > > Now every morning she calls to have her coffee chat, we talk about just about everything. We never, not once have brought up our marriage or our relationship. I feel like if I were to cut her off from communications she might go off the deep end as she seems to hover on the edge most of the time anyway. So you feel an obligation to take care of her even though… > [@](#): > > I really don’t mind as long as she respects my space. which she didn’t. > [@](#): > > I won’t bring this incident up because it happened over a year ago but I will be very clear about what to touch or not touch in the future. I appreciate all the responses even the ones making light as it is really a very small issue. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/45 "2013-12-30T18:56:55Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > Get another **housekeeper**. Get another house. Maybe it’ll come with a spider. ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/46 "2013-12-30T18:58:15Z")
A truly excellent thread. Who would have thought spiders and ex wives would be so entertaining and profound. Thanks for sharing! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/47 "2013-12-30T22:17:21Z")
> [@Bozuit](#): > > It’s a little interesting. If **HoneyBadgerDC** doesn’t like it, I expect everyone involved will stop. Otherwise, tangents are natural and to be expected. I don’t disagree - my point was mostly about the futility of cross-national nitpicking of terminology. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/48 "2013-12-30T22:33:14Z")
I was really pissed when I started the post but once I bitched about it a bit the anger subsided and now it looks as silly to me as it does many others here. ---
**Author:** ![Dana\_Scully](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Dana\_Scully](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dana_Scully)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/49 "2013-12-30T23:25:06Z")
Because she destroyed something you own without your permission. But then, who would think that a big spider might be someone’s “pet”? This wasn’t exactly a pet (or maybe it was); I don’t know how to classify it. I can understand why you would be mad. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/50 "2013-12-30T23:51:08Z")
> [@Alba](#): > > Is there actually some scientific research behind this? To me it feels like a “leftover” from times that the popular opinion was that criminals were born criminals. ??? No, I don’t see where you’re getting that at all. I was suggesting that the OP had learned or been taught early on in life, or perhaps chosen, to not express his anger and other negative emotions. This happens to lots of people, especially men. There’s nothing in there that suggests that I think he was born that way. After reading the thread I think other people were closer to the mark than I was. But I have no idea where you’re getting your interpretation of what I said. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![Alba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@Alba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alba)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/51 "2013-12-31T08:09:06Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > ??? No, I don’t see where you’re getting that at all. I was suggesting that the OP had learned or been taught early on in life, or perhaps chosen, to not express his anger and other negative emotions. This happens to lots of people, especially men. There’s nothing in there that suggests that I think he was born that way. > > After reading the thread I think other people were closer to the mark than I was. But I have no idea where you’re getting your interpretation of what I said. > Roddy I never mentioned that you said he was born that way. I said it was, in my opinion, a leftover from a long time ago and has no basis. My question comes down to “has there been research done that humans who do not express emotions over a longer period suddenly explode of anger?” Because I think that is just poppycock. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/52 "2013-12-31T09:29:23Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I was really pissed when I started the post but once I bitched about it a bit the anger subsided and now it looks as silly to me as it does many others here. And to others of us, it wasn’t silly at all, but it seems like you didn’t even read our posts. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/53 "2014-01-01T07:28:06Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Why respond to someone who obviously didn’t even bother to read the thread, where you indicated that you told her about the spider? Especially when, despite not reading the thread, the person prejudged you as being a jerk? Does that sound like the type of person who has any insight to add to the situation? Is this referring to me? if so, you are incorrect, because I acknowledged that he told her, but did he tell her how much it meant to him? Also, I didn’t prejudge him as being a jerk, I merely laid out what some of the reasons he would react that way are. Frankly, if I was trying to be a jerk I would have just said “It’s a spider, get over it!!!” ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417/54 "2014-01-01T11:55:17Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > And to others of us, it wasn’t silly at all, but it seems like you didn’t even read our posts. ``` Helena, I did read your post and agreed with your assessment. It was nice to have someone like yourself let me know that I wasn't alone in the way I viewed things like this. This was one of those things I would only admit on the internet and then I found myself a little embarrassed about admitting it. For some reason spiders seem to have a little higher level of intelligence than insects. I have a few orb weavers that build huge night time webs and then take them down in the morning that live in my yard. The spiders are huge and scary and sometimes build the webs across walkways. The first thing most people do when they see them is head for a can of raid. I run interference for them also. ``` [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/extremely-pissed-over-something-very-very-small/677417.md?page=2)