# F\*\*\* 'em if they can't take a joke. **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [May 17, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278 "2005-05-17T18:27:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2005, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/21 "2005-05-19T07:19:25Z")
> [@vibrotronica](#): > > It was also the name of the Dictators’ live album in 1981. Yay! I hope you knew that before googling. ---
**Author:** ![dave94703](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c0e974/32.png) [@dave94703](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dave94703)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/22 "2012-12-19T23:27:34Z")
Circa 1985. But I can’t validate its patrimony online. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/23 "2012-12-19T23:29:57Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > I think people tend to attribute just about anything to Lenny Bruce. 😉 Well, Lenny Bruce said that, too! ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/24 "2012-12-20T00:24:43Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > Is this actually a saying? In the area I grew up, this sounds like anything any other guy might come up with if he was in a bad mood. Agreed, I don’t understand how this could be considered a “saying” anymore than “turn left at the corner”, it’s just basic statement for a specific circumstance. ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/25 "2012-12-20T00:29:44Z")
In the early 80’s in the Army we said “Fuck 'em in the ass if they can’t take a joke.” ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/26 "2012-12-20T03:14:28Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > He invented the internet. Once. In 1960. I thought that was the date, when he, the actual guilty Jew, confessed to having killed Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/27 "2012-12-20T03:15:48Z")
The saying can be definitively traced back as far as 2005. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/28 "2012-12-20T03:17:26Z")
> [@Civil\_Guy](#): > > [Sheer speculation, barely remembered] I thought the original source (no cite) was from some battlefield or other (Vietnam? Korea?), an extremely bitter response to a report of friendly fire. [/Sheer speculation] > [@RaftPeople](#): > > Agreed, I don’t understand how this could be considered a “saying” anymore than “turn left at the corner”, it’s just basic statement for a specific circumstance. I too am unfamiliar with it. Can you give some of the set-ups that were used by the various entertainers mentioned? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/29 "2012-12-20T04:17:47Z")
We heard it the first day of boot camp in 1967, and it had been around long before that. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/30 "2012-12-20T09:59:09Z")
I can’t find a cite, but I seem to remember it being a quote from Mary Harris ‘Mother’ Jones, She lived from 1837 to 1930, so that would be much earlier than any of these other sources. ---
**Author:** ![FuzzyOgre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@FuzzyOgre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FuzzyOgre)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/31 "2012-12-20T11:03:26Z")
I made it up yesterday. Why are you stealing from me? ---
**Author:** ![Meurglys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/258eb7/32.png) [@Meurglys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meurglys)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/32 "2012-12-20T12:18:47Z")
There was 'zine whose name I forget\* back in the 90s which said 'fuck ‘em even if they _can_ take a joke!’ - It had _platypus_ in the title, iirc. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/33 "2012-12-20T14:04:59Z")
OK, I’m going to use it even though by now I have a (hazy) sense of when it is appropriate. Signed, Mr. Hopeful Witty Comeback ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/34 "2012-12-20T14:40:24Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > OK, I’m going to use it even though by now I have a (hazy) sense of when it is appropriate. > > Signed, > > Mr. Hopeful Witty Comeback It has many, many uses, but usually when you’re taking some action that may seem a bit dicey, but the risk to you is actually small. You’re out for a few beers and your wife is fine with it. You tell your mates “well, I told her I’d be back at ten, but I’m having another beer; fuck her if she can’t take a joke.” It’s a false bravado, as there is no real consequence to your action. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278/35 "2012-12-20T20:29:50Z")
I’ve generally heard it used to make light of something serious. You accidentally kill a bunch of people. “Oh, fuck 'em if they can’t take a joke”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-em-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/304278.md?page=1)