# F you, soon-to-be-ex **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 6, 2013, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772 "2013-07-06T04:17:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/22 "2013-07-07T16:16:11Z")
spam reported ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/23 "2013-07-07T20:15:45Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > Honestly, I think it’s all your fault. Your lack of sound judgement soars like the eagle. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/24 "2013-07-07T20:52:50Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > Honestly, I think it’s all your fault. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/25 "2013-07-07T21:49:54Z")
> [@Sehmket](#): > > So, I’m done, I’m angry and hurt, but… I’m done.\*\* I’m going to go on to have a better life\*\*… This. It’s gonna hurt for a while, no getting past that, but just keep this in mind: the best revenge is living well. Hang in there! ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/26 "2013-07-07T23:51:14Z")
> [@azraiel](#): > > … and admits she does it intentionally. She actively tries to hurt you, jackass!" > > … I still want to know why she did some of the things she did. Because she’s a sociopath. And there’s no “understanding” a sociopath, other than knowing that their brains are damaged and they not only lack the capacity to give a fuck, but they enjoy the act of hurting others. [A Diagnosed Sociopath Says Her Disorder Made Her A ‘Great Lawyer’](http://www.businessinsider.com/successful-lawyer-psychopath-2013-5) [How A Successful Lawyer Knew She Was A Sociopath](http://www.businessinsider.com/confessions-of-a-sociopath-2013-5) Congratulations, **Sehmket**! This is the beginning of a much better life. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/27 "2013-07-08T02:06:58Z")
> [@Sehmket](#): > > Thanks all, who are cheering me on. And, as to why this is in the pit? Because I don’t feel happy, or relieved, or any of the other good feelings that come with ending a relationship. I just feel shitty, rejected, hurt, and angry. And while I know that this is probably going to be better in the big picture… right now, it just sucks. I want to pit the crap he’s put me through, so that can embrace the good that’s going to come. Your OP comes on what would have been my 38th wedding anniversary, if I’d stayed married. I got over it, although you never really forget. I try to remember what some of the good things were. At least I didn’t have kids to make things complicated. Take care. If you need to vent, you know where we are!😛 ---
**Author:** ![kevinb70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7cd45c/32.png) [@kevinb70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevinb70)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/28 "2013-07-08T04:08:22Z")
Sehmket. Probably in the future you’ll see the split as a great thing. Sounds like the blaming is bordering on emotional abuse, but maybe really the primary issue is he can’t accept blame for himself. In time - you’ll find that someone that sees you as his one and only… and someone will find your ex the same. Perhaps with different people both of you can come out better than had you two stayed together. I left my first wife after 6 years, just not meant to be together. She was unhappy about it but I think she is better without me. She is still married to our friend whom I gently urged them in their friendship as things were winding down with us. She’s still married to him and has 3 kids now. I think her life is better that we split than if she stayed with me. Left (escaped) wife #2 after a year and a half. Two weeks after we got married, she completely flipped and was psychotic, violent physically and emotionally, delusional (constantly making up stories I was cheating when I wasn’t)… _I_ KNOW my life is better than I split with her! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/29 "2013-07-08T14:00:10Z")
Congrats! It sounds like you had a big, productive step taken for you, so to speak. Have a divorce party! ---
**Author:** ![Sehmket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Sehmket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sehmket)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/30 "2013-07-10T23:56:32Z")
> [@Inter\_Alia](#): > > I read that differently. It was more like her soon-to-be ex thinks he’s smarter, better, and more awesome than everyone else in the entire world, and since she didn’t agree with him on that, she’s just a fucking idiot who is only worthy of his contempt. > > Then again, there’s a good chance I’m projecting based on my last relationship. Inter Alia - you’ve got it right. It’s GREAT for two people in a couple to each thing each other is great… but, it’s a bit of a problem when one person things they’re better, and expects the other to think and act that way, too. Everyone’s stories of breaking up and going on to do well are heartening to me. Right now, things just suck, and it can be really hard to see the bright side. But, I know others who have been in my situation have found it, so I’m trying to focus on that. I saw a tattoo, and the caption says it’s a quote from The Tempest, “The Past is a Prologue.” I’m trying to focus on that as my mantra right now. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/31 "2013-07-11T00:50:22Z")
In The Tempest it’s “what’s past is prologue”. ---
**Author:** ![Sehmket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Sehmket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sehmket)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/32 "2013-07-11T01:23:16Z")
Shocking that the original Shakespeare is even better! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rex\_Goliath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bcef8e/32.png) [@Rex\_Goliath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rex_Goliath)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/33 "2013-07-11T05:56:36Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > Honestly, I think it’s all your fault. Well _I_ thought it was funny… ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/34 "2013-07-11T08:11:42Z")
> [@Rex\_Goliath](#): > > Well _I_ thought it was funny… So did I. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/35 "2013-07-11T08:35:39Z")
> [@Rex\_Goliath](#): > > Well _I_ thought it was funny… It’s a fine line between funny and insensitive or something else bad. Timing has something to do with it. And how well the people know each other. It was pretty clear to me it was intended as a joke but obviously some people didn’t perceive it that way. It happens. **Sehmket** , I understand it sucks a LOT for you right now. You’ve got a steaming pantload of bad stuff you want to get out and get through. IMO, that’s normal and okay. What you really need is some Tincture of Time and that’s usually slow-acting. Be strong. You’ll get through this. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/36 "2013-07-11T11:29:47Z")
The very best ‘New Beginnings’ seem to be always disguised as ‘Painful Endings’! You know you made the right choice, cling to that. Its not his fault, or yours, doesn’t mean this or that, no need to rehash or big picture really, he just isn’t the one. And you know it, deep done. Don’t forget that. It’s hard and it’s painful, we all feel for you. But we also think you’re doing the right thing! The only way through, is through. And we’re right here, if you need to talk. Give it time, it’ll get better slowly. ---
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/37 "2013-07-11T11:42:10Z")
Is your soon-to-be-ex on the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/38 "2013-07-11T13:13:37Z")
> [@Sehmket](#): > > Shocking that the original Shakespeare is even better! 🙂 Just wanted to make sure you got the quote right in case _you_ decided to make a tattoo out of it as well. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/39 "2013-07-11T16:12:25Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Just wanted to make sure you got the quote right in case _you_ decided to make a tattoo out of it as well. 🙂 And if you do get such a tattoo, please get it on your ass. That would be perfect. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/40 "2013-07-11T16:22:04Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > It’s a fine line between funny and insensitive or something else bad. Timing has something to do with it. And how well the people know each other. It was pretty clear to me it was intended as a joke but obviously some people didn’t perceive it that way. It happens. I laughed but I can see where the OP would not be in the right mood for the joke. And speaking of which, that’s really too bad for everything. Hang in there. ---
**Author:** ![Aizle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Aizle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aizle)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772/41 "2013-07-11T16:42:46Z")
Best of luck. And remember, the best revenge is moving on and being much happier without him. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/f-you-soon-to-be-ex/662772.md?page=3)