# Face it, chicks dig musicians. But why? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 26, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111 "2003-07-26T17:38:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/41 "2003-07-27T04:52:11Z")
I am a musician. I like other musicians, because we have something in common. I’d probably be happier to know a fellow serious band geek than some guy who taught himself three chords on the guitar, though. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/42 "2003-07-27T04:55:39Z")
Lovely, creative, heartfelt souls. If they’re successful enough to be on tour, they’re gone by the next morning after! That’s an art unto itself…😉 ---
**Author:** ![Pixelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ad7895/32.png) [@Pixelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixelle)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/43 "2003-07-27T05:13:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lisa-go-Blind \* > \*\* Good musicians are creative artists. Most artists and creative types are sensitive (either in the charming or goopy meanings)–it comes with the job description. Furthermore, these types are thoughtful (pretty much a requirement for writing a song with good lyrics) and often intelligent. Who wouldn’t love a smart, creative, charming man? Of course, there’s always the possibility he’ll write a song about you. \*\* Who wouldn’t love one indeed. Unfortunately though, I think a lot of women are under the misguided notion that because a man is carrying a guitar or some other instrument he _must_ be sensitive. It’s just not true in a lot of cases. I’ve been around music for a large part of my life and I’ve seen a lot of muso’s relationships, and I can tell you that often the sensitivity and creativity that they pour into their songs/music does not always cross over into their personal lives. A lot of artistic people, can say the most beautiful things with or in, their work but when it comes to real life sensitivity they have no idea. I’ve seen many women friends very upset because they can’t believe the man who wrote the beautiful song about them is the same one that is unable express his feelings and treats them without respect. If women were to compare your average guy in a band with your average computer geek…they’d probably find that the computer geek would have more sensitivity in his little finger than the muso has in the whole of his body. But trouble is, they don’t see the computer guy as being glamourous. Sad but true. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/44 "2003-07-27T05:38:07Z")
Here’s another answer. It’s a way to be “hip” in High School. If you weren’t some football jock a viable alternative to avoid being just another face in the school crowd was being a musician (and certainly NOT a High School band musician). Women like interesting guys and being a rock musician is certainly more interesting than someone who just won the science fair for a better lint trap design. At the time I went to High School there were no prominent women in rock and roll and so rather than start their own band, women had to settle for being a girlfriend of a band member (or whatever). It sure surprised me because I never thought of myself as being any kind of a “babe magnet” but the fact that I played guitar made a huge difference. It’s funny that even after high school, it _still_ is an almost foolproof way to get some interest from some women. ---
**Author:** ![AntaresJB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AntaresJB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AntaresJB)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/45 "2003-07-27T20:08:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > \*\*And, yeah, female musicians are catnip for us rockers. \*\* ::innocent whistle:: [Doo bee doo be doo…](http://fff.fathom.org/pages/antaresjb/menguitar.jpg) (yes, it’s a crappy picture, but nobody ever takes pictures of me with my guitar…) ---
**Author:** ![bee\_with\_an\_itch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@bee\_with\_an\_itch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bee_with_an_itch)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/46 "2003-07-27T20:19:19Z")
talent is sexy (musical and otherwise) ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/47 "2003-07-27T21:17:07Z")
I dont think a woman should date a musician because their music is always more important 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![arachnidlove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@arachnidlove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/arachnidlove)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/48 "2003-07-27T21:52:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\*I dont think a woman should date a musician because their music is always more important 🙂 \*\* \*\* handy’s\*\* comment made me think of something my boyfriend said to an ex of his. Now before I share this know that for last Christmas I bought him a “Proud to be an Asshole” shirt. X girlfriend: You like your guitar more than me don’t you? My b/f: Yeah, because at least I can TIGHTEN it. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Love](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Dr.Love](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Love)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/49 "2003-07-27T22:01:01Z")
I believe that it’s not musicians themselves that most women are attracted to, but rather the mystique of the musician’s life. The bad-boy appeal of the rocker or rapper is a big part of this attraction. This appeal also only carries over to people who play the type of music that the particular woman likes. Even in this thread, I can only remember one woman who mentioned interest in a man who didn’t play one of the current popular instruments (piano, bass, guitar, or drums). So, I would like to add another question for the women in this thread. What if the man played one of the less glamorized instruments, say flute or tuba? Flute is probably the instrument that is most believe to be a “femimine” instrument, and tuba seems to have the stigma of being the ugliest instrument. Let’s say this hypothetical guy is also very good at his instrument, good enough to get into one of the better orchestras or bands out there. Would his being a musician have any influence on your attraction to him? ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/50 "2003-07-27T23:47:45Z")
\*\*Dr. Love, \*\* one ex of mine, the one to whom I am probably still the closest although we broke up 15 years ago, played the entire brass section. Coronet, French horn, tuba, pretty much everything except slide trombone. It’s the degree of dedication that gets me, not the idea of dating a musician because it’s glamorous. Few things are less glamorous than a tuba player when he’s working. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/77aa72/32.png) [@Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_On_My_Sleeve)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/51 "2003-07-28T01:17:34Z")
**Dr. Love** , I refer you to my comment about my tuba-player husband. And there always flutist Mattheiu Defour, of the CSO…rrrowwr! ---
**Author:** ![LVBoPeep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/858c86/32.png) [@LVBoPeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVBoPeep)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/52 "2003-07-28T01:47:22Z")
All I gotta say is, most of these chicks that dig musicians have never actually been in a relationship with one. Never again. \>\>Rudah DITTO!! I do agree it the expressiveness- the “sensitive artist” thing that attracts initially- and my musician was very competent. However, if you are not also a musician- you get to spend alot of time alone at home (unless you want to tag along to practice- fun in the beginning but gets really old after a bit). You also have a higher (not necessarily always true) degree of unreliability. Two years after I moved in with my musician, he lost his job (due to staying out too late and partying) Since the “band” was so damn important- not to mention the substance abuse that went along with the band- he couldn’t keep a job for a year after that. I finally left him, and he had to leave town just to get away from the “scene” (the drugs). He was very talented and sexy in the beginning, but whats on stage isn’t what you go to bed with. I met enough girls that were in the same situation to know that mine was a common one in the rock & roll world at least. NEVER EVER AGAIN ! Now a writer sounds fine…at least you would know where they are most of the time! ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/53 "2003-07-28T02:00:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eva Luna \* > \*\*Few things are less glamorous than a tuba player when he’s working. \*\* Clearly, you have never seen ME at work. The chicks go wild. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Love](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Dr.Love](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Love)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/54 "2003-07-28T02:19:11Z")
**Eva Luna** , thanks for the comment. I’ve heard the dedication reasoning before, and I suppose that just seems like a better reason to me. But maybe I’m just jaded from seeing girls swoon over the 3-chord guitar players that are out there. It’s just great to hear from anyone that appriciates hard work and talent like your ex would seem to have. **Heart On My Sleeve** , you were the exception I mentioned in my previous post. But comming back and mentioning a flautist too! You really answered my question 🙂 If anyone else would like to comment on my question, I’d appriciate the feedback. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/55 "2003-07-28T02:21:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\*Clearly, you have never seen ME at work. The chicks go wild. \*\* Well, I guess one could extrapolate regarding what that amazing breath control and sensitive lips could be used for…but let’s face it, a brass player of most any sort is pretty funny-looking when he’s concentrating…their cheeks look like they are storing food for the winter! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/56 "2003-07-28T04:05:26Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s the degree of dedication that gets me, not the idea of dating a musician because it’s glamorous. Few things are less glamorous than a tuba player when he’s working. Heheh. You should meet the tuba player who lived next to me last year. He was astoundingly unglamorous when he WASN’T working. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111/57 "2003-07-28T14:15:41Z")
Musicians and photographers. Mmmmmm…I dunno why, but I’ve always been attracted to them. One old boyfriend was both! Didn’t treat me bad, but wasn’t a committer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/face-it-chicks-dig-musicians-but-why/191111.md?page=2)