# Facebook question(s) **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 21, 2010, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-question-s/561458 "2010-11-21T17:53:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-question-s/561458/1 "2010-11-21T17:53:26Z")
1. Is there a way to send a message to someone w/o a friend request? 2. What does “poke” do? (Forgive me for being a total n00b…social network sites aren’t my forté.) ---
**Author:** ![ChrisBooth12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@ChrisBooth12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisBooth12)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-question-s/561458/2 "2010-11-21T18:51:47Z")
Here are directions explain a poke on facebook [http://tinyurl.com/299jenh](http://tinyurl.com/299jenh) As for sending someone a message go to their profile and click on “Send Message” EDIT: Some people can set up their profiles so you cannot message them without being friends with them; however, you can send a short message along with your friends request. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-question-s/561458/3 "2010-11-21T18:55:59Z")
THANK YOU for the “poke” answer! Though I’m bummed by its Mundaneness and Pointlessness! ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-question-s/561458/4 "2010-11-21T20:20:21Z")
> [@ChrisBooth12](#): > > As for sending someone a message go to their profile and click on “Send Message” > > EDIT: Some people can set up their profiles so you cannot message them without being friends with them; however, you can send a short message along with your friends request. Well, I just sent a friend request (to someone else, _not_ the person I’m attempting to contact) and Facebook didn’t allow me to attach a personal message. What I’m trying to do is pass on to a FOAF some contact info regarding another mutual friend (who isn’t on FB) – I’m not averse to sending FOAF a Friend Request, but I don’t want to seem too forward…as if that matters. ETA: There is no “Send Message” option on FOAF’s wall; my only options are (1) Poke, (2) Report/Block, or (3) Add As Friend. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisBooth12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@ChrisBooth12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisBooth12)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-question-s/561458/5 "2010-11-21T20:55:05Z")
When you click add to friends and the message comes up to confirm to send out, there should be an option on the bottom that you can click that says add a personal message [![](https://i.imgur.com/0Sx51.png) ](https://i.imgur.com/0Sx51.png) - CB Supreme Jedi Counselor ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-question-s/561458/6 "2010-11-21T21:10:05Z")
Whether you can send a message to a non-friend depends on that person’s privacy settings. If they allow messages from strangers, you’ll find a “Send X a message” link under their name. If not, sending a friend request and adding a personal message is probably the only way you can contact them. Or you can get a mutual friend to send the message on your behalf. ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-question-s/561458/7 "2010-11-21T22:36:43Z")
> [@ChrisBooth12](#): > > [Imgur: The magic of the Internet](http://imgur.com/0Sx51.png) Eww. > [@Reply](#): > > Whether you can send a message to a non-friend depends on that person’s privacy settings. If they allow messages from strangers, you’ll find a “Send X a message” link under their name. If not, sending a friend request and adding a personal message is probably the only way you can contact them. > > Or you can get a mutual friend to send the message on your behalf. Well, I clicked on Friend Request and once again, it send my request _without_ any option to attach a message…guess I’ll see if he replies or not. The problem with having our mutual friend contact him is that he (the mutual friend) doesn’t want to get involved. The situation is…complicated. I’m only willing to pass on the aforementioned contact info because it’s the courteous thing to do (I’m basically playing the role of an impartial third party.) ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-question-s/561458/8 "2010-11-22T03:00:28Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > Eww. > Well, I clicked on Friend Request and once again, it send my request _without_ any option to attach a message…guess I’ll see if he replies or not. > > The problem with having our mutual friend contact him is that he (the mutual friend) doesn’t want to get involved. The situation is…complicated. I’m only willing to pass on the aforementioned contact info because it’s the courteous thing to do (I’m basically playing the role of an impartial third party.) Did you see the “Add a personal message” link at the bottom of that dialog box, like in fuzzypickle’s picture? ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-question-s/561458/9 "2010-11-22T05:12:32Z")
> [@Reply](#): > > Did you see the “Add a personal message” link at the bottom of that dialog box, like in fuzzypickle’s picture? Nope, it wasn’t there. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-question-s/561458/10 "2010-11-22T05:23:52Z")
They have really tight privacy settings. If I were you, I’d recognize that I made a good-faith effort at the task and move on. ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-question-s/561458/11 "2010-11-22T06:44:42Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > If I were you, I’d recognize that I made a good-faith effort at the task and move on. Yep, that’s the plan. Thanks anyways, everyone. 🙂