# Facebook viral statuses **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 29, 2011, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233 "2011-06-29T05:08:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DarrenS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DarrenS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarrenS)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/1 "2011-06-29T05:08:58Z")
I’m curious about these. You know the type: “I have a personal reason for asking if everyone could put this as their status for 1 hour. I’m pretty sure I know the ones that will. Think of someone you know or love who has had cancer. My wish is that in 2011 a cure will be found. Will you post it for 1 hour. To honor those who have fought or are… fighting cancer. Most people won’t set this as their status. Will you?” Even though you see these statuses regarding many subjects (cancer/HIV/"love your [father|mother|son|daughter]) they seem to follow a recognizable pattern, almost like a [snowclone](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowclone). How do these things originate? Is it just one person doing it for “lulz” to see how far they can propagate the payload? Or is there a sole, sincere person who starts these off? What do they gain by it? I can’t see how having _n_ people post something like that as their status could have any effect on finding a cure for cancer, other than in some vague “increasing awareness” sense. ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/2 "2011-06-29T08:17:29Z")
Slacktivism is great, isn’t it? My favorite was the one where people were encouraged to post pictures of their favorite cartoon characters to stop child abuse. The slacktivists were then punked by someone who suggested that the cartoon characters could be used by enterprising pedophiles to lure dumb kids with Facebook accounts right into the arms of their virtual molesters. Sadly, the moral of the story (slacktivism is not only pointless, it can also be counter-productive) was lost in all the recreational outrage. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/3 "2011-06-29T09:29:23Z")
I don’t know but I sure find them irritating. I can’t see how they do any good whatsoever apart from giving the poster a warm feeling that they have done “something”. In reality, they have done nothing. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/4 "2011-06-29T09:43:43Z")
There was a spate of those on my feed a few months ago, and they irritated me enough to concoct this: “You can be sure that I will always be one of the 97% of people who will never re-post something as my status, even for an hour. I am one of the 3% who find those posts passive aggressive and utterly useless as true support for much of anything. Now, cute cat videos, that’s another story! :-D” Alas, this one did not go viral, though it got more than the usual # of likes and comments. And, come to think of it, I’ve fewer of slacktivistic posts 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/5 "2011-06-29T10:01:15Z")
I just stole that Saje, and changed “cute cat video’s” to “porn”. Now I wait for my daughters to hammer me ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/6 "2011-06-29T13:01:04Z")
My favorite current one is about how there will be five Fridays and five Saturdays in July, and how according to some ancient Chinese feng shui theory, if you post this startling information on Facebook, money will be coming your way, but if you don’t, you won’t get any money. So ancient Chinese feng shui practitioners were making up stupid Facebook memes back in the D’umb Dynasty? ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/7 "2011-06-29T13:44:36Z")
I hate those status update memes not only because they’re dumb and useless and passive aggressive, but mostly because WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF FACEBOOK IF EVERYONE’S STATUS UPDATE SAYS THE SAME FUCKING THING?!?!?!?!? _Deep breath_ My current status update is a snopes link on the “moneybags July” meme, with a note that if your math skills suck to the extent that this doesn’t sound wrong to you, you should be unsurprised to find yourself lacking in coin, and a suggestion that if you want extra money, get off facebook and go work some overtime or something. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/8 "2011-06-29T14:01:02Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > My favorite current one is about how there will be five Fridays and five Saturdays in July, and how according to some ancient Chinese feng shui theory, if you post this startling information on Facebook, money will be coming your way, but if you don’t, you won’t get any money. So ancient Chinese feng shui practitioners were making up stupid Facebook memes back in the D’umb Dynasty? And it goes on like it only happens ever 826 years or something. Hello! Anybody home? You have 5 full weekends in July if and only if July 1 is a Friday. Since there exactly 7 possible days for July 1 to fall on, it stands to reason it happens about once ever seven years. As it turns out, 2005 had this same distinction as will 2022 and 2033. It also happened in leap years 2000 and 2028. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/9 "2011-06-29T14:01:59Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > I just stole that Saje, and changed “cute cat video’s” to “porn”. > > Now I wait for my daughters to hammer me ☹ Steal away! And yeah, for a certain group porn works better than cats, but as I’m officially a crazy cat lady I have no time for porn 😛 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/10 "2011-06-29T14:05:16Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > I hate those status update memes not only because they’re dumb and useless and passive aggressive, but mostly because WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF FACEBOOK IF EVERYONE’S STATUS UPDATE SAYS THE SAME FUCKING THING?!?!?!?!? > > _Deep breath_ Yeah that. Plus, my damn news feed looks like a stuttering alpaca, since so many of my friends copy and paste the damn things at roughly the same time. But the “strong beautiful woman” one that just went around? Oy. Worst ever. It’s one you’re supposed to post on your Friends’ Walls if you think they’re awesome examples of the female species. About 90% of my Friends are Goddess Worshipers. So every time someone posts that to another Friend’s Wall, my News Feed about blows up with multiple copies of it. And, I’m sorry, but I’m just an asshole. If you’re my friend, you already know I think you’re awesome. If I start cut and pasting that shit around Facebook, A) I’m going to forget someone or the click won’t register and then there will be hurt feelings and B) when will I have time for the Dope?! ---
**Author:** ![Claire\_Beauchamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ec9cab/32.png) [@Claire\_Beauchamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claire_Beauchamp)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/11 "2011-06-29T14:44:17Z")
Thankfully I get few of those, but they do hit my news feed every now and then. On the cartoon/child abuse one, though, I DID change my profile pic (I’ve a thing for Looney Tunes and my profile pic is sometimes Daffy Duck occasionally anyway). I posted a status that said that in addition to changing the pic, I had donated $$ to a local organization that provides legal advocacy for abused children, and challenged my FB friends to do the same. Funny, not a single comment, Like, or status that mentioned a similar donation. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/12 "2011-06-29T15:45:41Z")
> [@DarrenS](#): > > I’m curious about these. You know the type: “I have a personal reason for asking if everyone could put this as their status for 1 hour. I’m pretty sure I know the ones that will. Think of someone you know or love who has had cancer. My wish is that in 2011 a cure will be found. Will you post it for 1 hour. To honor those who have fought or are… fighting cancer. Most people won’t set this as their status. Will you?” A friend put up one of these about deployed soldiers. I wrote: That’s not true. When I was deployed I wished for more than anything to have a dragon. Yeah, not very practical, but a dragon would have been fucking awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/13 "2011-06-29T16:17:05Z")
They’re the same as the dumb glurge emails “forward this to all your friends within 3 minutes, and you’ll have good luck and a happy love life - if you don’t forward it, your arse will fall off and your best friend will stab you in the eyes!”, or the youtube comments “You will be kissed on the next possible friday!” - propagated by dumb people, often out of dumb fear - “I don’t believe in these things, but better safe than sorry!” Gah! ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/14 "2011-06-29T16:26:09Z")
I kind of like silly ones, like this— Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone. If you don’t know anyone, or even if you’ve heard of someone who doesn’t know anyone, then do still copy this. It’s important to spread the message— it kind of pokes fun at them, but doesn’t actively insult those who do it, however much I may want to insult them.😛 ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/15 "2011-06-29T17:42:21Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > I just stole that Saje, and changed “cute cat video’s” to “porn”. > > Now I wait for my daughters to hammer me ☹ And I’m about to, except I’ll leave in the bit about cat videos, 'cause, you know, [KITTY](http://xkcd.com/231/)! ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/16 "2011-06-29T18:38:42Z")
“Imagine you and I wake up in a psychiatric ward and you can only say four words to me…be a good sport and play along.” I actually thought this was an original idea by a fb friend the FIRST time I saw it on my news feed…The first time, that is. After the next 50 or so, I began to suspect perhaps it wasn’t. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/17 "2011-06-30T02:19:44Z")
I had a good one today. A friend posted something like (they’ve since taken the post down): > [@](#): > > This July will have five Fridays, five Saturdays and five Sundays. This only happens every 826 years. Put this in your status and wealth will arrive within 4 days through the Chinese philosophy of Feng Shui. I responded: > [@](#): > > This July will have five Fridays, five Saturdays, and five Sundays. This happens every time a non-leap year begins on a Saturday; the last time was in 2005. Feng Shui has little to say about Facebook status updates. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/18 "2011-06-30T03:40:51Z")
> [@saje](#): > > Steal away! And yeah, for a certain group porn works better than cats, but as I’m officially a crazy cat lady I have no time for porn 😛 I chickened out and said “scantily clad women”. I have more chance of catching my cat than scantily clad women. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/19 "2011-06-30T03:53:31Z")
I tried to invent a really moronic one, thus: > [@MacSpon](#): > > MATH CHALLENGE > > 1. Take the number of the month you were born. > 2. Add the number of the letters in your _family_ name. > 3. If you are doing this in the morning, add 4. If it is afternoon, add 6. If it is after dark, add 22. > 4. If it is raining where you are, as you do this, add 16. Otherwise, divide by two. > 5. Enter the answer, in words, in a Google search. (Note: Bing will not work.) Find the number of words in the sixth entry that comes up. > \*\*\* Meditation break: would the answer be higher or lower if you had been born one year later? How about one year earlier? Well, well, well. > 6. Total up all the digits in your postcode (ignoring any letters, if your country uses letters), and add the total to your answer. > 7. Subtract the number of letters in your _given_ name. > 8. If the answer is _odd_, you will be lucky tomorrow. If it is _even_ you will feel sad. > 9. Repost this challenge! DON’T FORGET TO POST YOUR ANSWER! > > My answer: 15. Lucky! But, dammit, Facebook statuses have to be 420 characters or less, and if I trim it down that far it just won’t be long enough to be “convincing”… ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233/20 "2011-06-30T04:02:12Z")
I just stole the picture of the rabbit [with a pancake on it’s head](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.whoaorno.com/images/285.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.whoaorno.com/default.aspx%3Fpic%3D285&usg=__f3T_tSRcJRROTW8IEBEXqTxE_4o=&h=300&w=400&sz=35&hl=en&start=0&sig2=83hAmzPnZJbLMgylTr8QGQ&zoom=1&tbnid=E1RHZVcLP3c9TM:&tbnh=109&tbnw=142&ei=OS0KTsr-Lc3UgAfpqLGJAg&prev=/search%3Fq%3Doolong%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D876%26bih%3D411%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=109&page=1&ndsp=10&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:0&tx=44&ty=26) that Argent Towers posted. Added the following text: “Rabbit with a pancake on its head. . . I am asking if everyone could put this as their status for 1 hour or the day. I’m pretty sure I know the ones who will. Think of someone you know or love who doesn’t have a rabbit with a pancake on its head. My wish is that in 2011 a cure will be found. Will you post this for 1 hour to honor those who are FIGHTING for rabbits without a pancake.” It’s pretty lame, but I am bored. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facebook-viral-statuses/587233.md?page=2)