# Facts has finally died, 360 B.C.-A.D. 2012 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 25, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880 "2012-04-25T03:49:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/1 "2012-04-25T03:49:19Z")
[To the shock of most sentient beings, Facts died Wednesday, April 18, after a long battle for relevancy with the 24-hour news cycle, blogs and the Internet.](http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-04-19/news/ct-talk-huppke-obit-facts-20120419_1_facts-philosopher-opinion)☹ This makes me really sad, not that it takes much to do that. I know that it’s a satire/opinion piece, but seeing it written out like that just sort bothers me more. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/2 "2012-04-25T03:55:06Z")
Is that a fact? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/3 "2012-04-25T04:03:12Z")
Yes, yes, the world is going to hell in a handbasket and has been since there have been lawns and old people. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/4 "2012-04-25T04:03:51Z")
And they were doing _so well_. So what does this mean for The Straight Dope? Business as usual? Or can we ignore the cry of “Cite?”? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/5 "2012-04-25T04:58:57Z")
Lets face it, facts have been dying off since God invented them 5600 years ago. Good riddance to them. They’ve done nothing but stand in the way of man’s greatest triumphs. Facts didn’t help the US put the first man in space. And facts never explained how the tides go in and the tides go out. Nobody has ever explained that one. But the last straw was the bizarre attempt by the factonazis to blame us for the problems we’ve caused. Pollution, global warming, nuclear proliferation, and terrorism are great opportunities that the extreme out of touch factist fringe has tried to sabotage with their incessant campaign of shouting ‘Not true’ and ‘That’s not a fact’ everytime a truly good idea to solve our problems without sacrifice is proposed. So I say again, good riddance facts. You’ve done nothing but bring harm and sorrow to the eternal self-correcting golden bounty God has given us to exploit. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/6 "2012-04-25T10:12:34Z")
Facts are not dead. They’re just resting and need to be awakened. All you need to do is state something loudly and often for it to become a fact, especially if you can do it on international television and all over the intrarwebz. Don’t you people know anything?? sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/7 "2012-04-25T12:03:15Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Yes, yes, the world is going to hell in a handbasket and has been since there have been lawns and old people. This argument irritates me. Just because people have been saying that something is happening for a long time doesn’t mean that it’s not happening. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/8 "2012-04-25T13:23:53Z")
What’s particularly galling is the widespread media view that “balance” means giving equal coverage to facts and wackos who say the facts are complete boloney. In the modern world, everyone’s opinion is equally valid, even if it’s half-baked, misinformed, or simply flat-out pencils-up-the-nose bonkers. ---
**Author:** ![wuglife](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a5b964/32.png) [@wuglife](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wuglife)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/9 "2012-04-25T15:07:26Z")
I think this is great satire. I’m pleased with it. It’s better to laugh than to cry. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/10 "2012-04-25T15:11:40Z")
.. [QUOTE=davidbyrne] Facts are simple and facts are straight Facts are lazy and facts are late Facts all come with points of view Facts don’t do what I want them to Facts just twist the truth around Facts are living turned inside out Facts are getting the best of them Facts are nothing on the face of things Facts don’t stain the furniture Facts go out and slam the door Facts are written all over your face Facts continue to change their shape [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/11 "2012-04-25T15:19:19Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > What’s particularly galling is the widespread media view that “balance” means giving equal coverage to facts and wackos who say the facts are complete boloney. In the modern world, everyone’s opinion is equally valid, even if it’s half-baked, misinformed, or simply flat-out pencils-up-the-nose bonkers. “Thank you, Mr. NASA guy, for explaining the International Space Station. But now, for the sake of balance, we turn to Barry, who believes the sky is a carpet painted by God.” (Dara O’Briain) For this reason, you get “balanced” coverage of vaccines and autism, with one side being the IOM, the CDC, the WHO, the FDA, and hundreds of scientists, and the other side being a washed-up Playboy bunny and semi-actress. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/12 "2012-04-25T15:21:22Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > .. ::::Shakes fist::::: ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/13 "2012-04-25T16:55:36Z")
“Facts are stupid things.” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/14 "2012-04-25T17:07:36Z")
To quote the late great “Better Off Ted”: “Those are just facts, and facts are just opinions, and opinions can be wrong.” ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/15 "2012-04-25T17:14:46Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > To quote the late great “Better Off Ted”: > > “Those are just facts, and facts are just opinions, and opinions can be wrong.” And what’s wrong can’t be right, and what can’t be right isn’t good, and what isn’t good, is not the truth, and what’s not the truth is a lie. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/16 "2012-04-25T17:40:48Z")
It once had been said That Reason was dead But Reason said “No, I think not so!” - Piet Hein ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/17 "2012-04-25T18:12:07Z")
Does this mean that our slogan is now “Ignorance, er. something or other ?” ---
**Author:** ![Kiber](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kiber/32/317_2.png) [@Kiber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiber)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/18 "2012-04-25T18:13:48Z")
I blame Theory. Facts was doing just fine, until Theory came along. Look at gravity, for example - used to be a Fact, but now is just a Theory. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/19 "2012-04-25T18:45:03Z")
[QUOTE=blondebear] . Originally Posted by davidbyrne Facts are simple and facts are straight Facts are lazy and facts are late Facts all come with points of view Facts don’t do what I want them to Facts just twist the truth around Facts are living turned inside out Facts are getting the best of them Facts are nothing on the face of things Facts don’t stain the furniture Facts go out and slam the door Facts are written all over your face Facts continue to change their shape [/QUOTE] Same as it ever was :smack: Same as it ever was :smack: Same as it ever was :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880/20 "2012-04-25T18:57:12Z")
Facts have been replaced by what people want, as Colbert said to that moron dentist who used to be head of the Texas Board of Ed. And it appears we have a presidential candidate who doesn’t mourn their passing. Mitt’s friend run an ad claiming Obama said something that McCain actually said? Too bad. He claimed that a factory closed during the Bush years was closed when Obama was president. Who cares? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-has-finally-died-360-b-c-a-d-2012/619880.md?page=2)