# Facts of Life. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980 "2005-03-30T18:40:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/1 "2005-03-30T18:40:16Z")
Not sure where I got this list from originally but I just rediscovered it, so I thought I’d share. - 1. Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. 2. At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. 3. One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. 4. You’ve never quite sure whether it’s ok to eat green crisps. 5. Everyone who grew up in the 80’s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. 6. Reading when you’re drunk is horrible. 7. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly. 8. You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden. 9. Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. 10. You never know where to look when eating a banana. 11. Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat. 12. Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly. 13. Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball. 14. You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses. 15. Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school. 16. The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad. 17. The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity. 18. Some days you see lots of people on crutches. 19. Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush. 20. Old women with mobile phones look wrong ! 21. Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee. 22. Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited. 23. You never ever run out of salt. 24. Old ladies can eat more than you think. 25. You can’t respect a man who carries a dog. 26. There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got your hand or head stuck in something. 27. No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers. 28. Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan. 29. The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug. 30. People who don’t drive slam car doors too hard 31. You’ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with. 32. Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. 33. Bricks are horrible to carry. 34. In every plate of chips there is a bad chip 35. At every wedding reception you get young boys sliding about on their knees Peter Kay\* (One of my favourite comedians) ---
**Author:** ![wasson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4da419/32.png) [@wasson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wasson)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/2 "2005-03-30T18:59:46Z")
Where’s #9?! ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/3 "2005-03-30T19:05:42Z")
> [@wasson](#): > > Where’s #9?! Missing, presumed… er… _Gone_\* (I never noticed before. Perhaps the original editor thought it was too risqué) [sub]\*Free smile for the first to get the Discworld reference[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/4 "2005-03-30T19:23:13Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Not sure where I got this list from originally but I just rediscovered it, so I thought I’d share. > > - > > 1. Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. > > - True! And they are even better if you cut them diagonally twice to make four little triangles! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/5 "2005-03-30T19:28:25Z")
Can some kind sould explain this one to me? 1. Everyone who grew up in the 80’s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/6 "2005-03-30T19:30:46Z")
> [@The Devil's Grandmother](#): > > Can some kind sould explain this one to me? > > 1. Everyone who grew up in the 80’s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. Look at your monitor upside-down, (or enter it into a calculator and turn that upside down) ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/7 "2005-03-30T19:30:59Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Missing, presumed… er… _Gone_\* > (I never noticed before. Perhaps the original editor thought it was too risqué) > > [sub]\*Free smile for the first to get the Discworld reference[/sub] I knew it was a discworld reference…forget to what, though. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/8 "2005-03-30T20:31:42Z")
_9) All love potions are trouble_ ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/9 "2005-03-30T20:40:11Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Missing, presumed… er… _Gone_\* > (I never noticed before. Perhaps the original editor thought it was too risqué) > [sub]\*Free smile for the first to get the Discworld reference[/sub] It’s not… _Missing, presumed…er…Gonne_, is it? Just a thought. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/10 "2005-03-30T20:40:24Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Look at your monitor upside-down, > > (or enter it into a calculator and turn that upside down) First thing I did when I read this. _Now_ it’s true. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/11 "2005-03-30T20:48:22Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > It’s not… > > _Missing, presumed…er…Gonne_, is it? Just a thought. Could be. I don’t have the book with me. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/12 "2005-03-30T20:49:29Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Could be. I don’t have the book with me. So is that the right book? Where’s my smile??? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/13 "2005-03-30T21:03:17Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > So is that the right book? Where’s my smile??? No that’s not the name of the book. It’s just a quote from the book. (Is there really a book called ’ Missing, presumed…er…Gonne’??) You get the smile if you name the book. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/14 "2005-03-30T21:32:33Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > No that’s not the name of the book. It’s just a quote from the book. > (Is there really a book called ’ Missing, presumed…er…Gonne’??) > > You get the smile if you name the book. I know it’s not the name of the book, I just can’t remember which one it is. _thinking_ **Men At Arms**! Right? ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Bongo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a9adbd/32.png) [@Winston\_Bongo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Bongo)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/15 "2005-03-30T21:36:46Z")
_29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan._ I’m totally mystified by this one. “Despite constant warning”? Am I the only one who has never, ever been warned even once to avoid swans on account of their tendency to break your arms? How would a swan even do that? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/16 "2005-03-30T21:43:41Z")
> [@Winston Bongo](#): > > _29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan._ > > I’m totally mystified by this one. “Despite constant warning”? Am I the only one who has never, ever been warned even once to avoid swans on account of their tendency to break your arms? How would a swan even do that? It’s Anglo-centric. British Kid’s mums always used to warn them away from swans saying ‘It’ll break your arm’ ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/17 "2005-03-30T21:55:51Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > _16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school._ And when the dog in question is your own family dog, you swell with pride when she manages to elude capture and duck out of school uncaptured (especially if, when one of the guidance counselors tries to apprehend her, she growls and barks menacingly enough to make him back away - right in the middle of the lunch room!) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/18 "2005-03-30T22:29:55Z")
Even after standing on my head and looking like a complete doofus, I don’t get the calculator thing (I don’t have a calculator handy, so I had to use the computer) ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/19 "2005-03-30T22:44:50Z")
> [@liirogue](#): > > Even after standing on my head and looking like a complete doofus, I don’t get the calculator thing (I don’t have a calculator handy, so I had to use the computer) It says, “BOOBLESS” upside down. Also, I’m man enough to admin I’ve raced the toilet flush. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980/20 "2005-03-30T22:46:02Z")
I’ll even admit to stupid spelling mistakes from time to time. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/facts-of-life/296980.md?page=2)