# Failed Pilot Network **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 26, 2010, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511 "2010-08-26T08:30:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511/61 "2010-09-03T15:26:29Z")
**Sects and the City** – “real life” show that follows a different street preacher/brochure distributor/alms collector/Scientologist Test Giver/what have you from a different fringe religion or cult every week on their daily rounds, recording their encounters with harried commuters, tourists, and mounted police officers. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511/62 "2010-09-03T16:03:11Z")
While reading today’s comics I thought of this thread. Ziggy had: **CSI: Sesame Street** ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511/63 "2010-09-03T16:24:43Z")
**Buffy the Vampire Layer** - A hot young blonde goes around having sex with loser douchy pathetic goth kids. **Buffy the Veal Slayer** - A hot young blonde goes around sneaking onto cattle ranches and murders all the baby cows. **Doctor What?** - A time traveling old deaf guy gets into and out of trouble with his trusty Sonic Cane and hot young nurse side kick. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511/64 "2010-09-03T16:29:59Z")
**The Lawrence Welk Show** – Please, God, let them reject this pilot. There’s no way anybody could want to watch this dreck. It’s a sure loser. What? It’s still running? On PBS? Proof there is no God. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511/65 "2010-09-03T16:40:21Z")
**Voidgate1** : Scientists discover a gateway that can take you to any point in the universe. However, since they can’t decipher how the coordinate system works, they can only jump to random locations which by overwhelming probability are in intergalactic space. Every week the scientists do some more deep space astronomical observations and lobby the government for more money. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511/66 "2010-09-03T23:44:39Z")
**Late Night with Conan the Barbarian:** The Cimmerian warlord hosts his own afrer hours talk show. Unfortunately, guests tend to only appear once, unless the stage crew does a bad job of cleaning up the set. The house band(The Lamentations of the Women) was pretty good though. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511/67 "2010-09-04T07:21:38Z")
**The Opera Winfrey Show:** The all singing, all dancing(literally) version of America’s favorite talk show. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511/68 "2010-09-04T13:46:48Z")
**Not Quite Old, Not Quite Yellow** – the gut wrenching exploits of a mangy pitbull with rabies that pays weekly visits to a new village, farm town, or neighborhood, biting small children and giving them lockjaw. Premiere episode has the beast attacking Jerry’s Kids. ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511/69 "2010-09-05T18:49:24Z")
**Bridget Loves Bernanke** Can a young Catholic girl find true love with a Jewish Federal Reserve chairman? Hilarity ensues when Bridget’s parents declare bankruptcy and must ask their son in law for a handout. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511/70 "2010-09-05T19:55:58Z")
**The Tomorrow Night Show** : broadcast live from Tokyo to America’s west coast. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511/71 "2010-09-06T16:03:41Z")
**This Old Horse** – Maudlin examination of the fates of racehorses well past their use-by dates for stud service as well as saccharine stories and video clips of the mounts of the old B-Western stars that outlived their human counterparts. Dale Robertson still uses his “That’s Jubilee. That’s my horse.” catchphrase as he narrates the vignettes. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511/72 "2010-09-07T00:01:07Z")
LETTERS: Every week symbologist Robert Langdon exposes a new conspiracy. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511/73 "2010-09-07T03:15:53Z")
**Ed & Jo** - Jo is an aging but still lovely cougar, and Ed her much younger husband. They’re happily married in the suburbs with four adorable, wise-cracking kids. At least they’re happily married until as pesky but determined soothsayer smacks them with an awful truth about Ed and Jo’s relationship. Oops, I guess they should have paid more attention to that prophecy before they married! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511/74 "2010-09-07T08:09:24Z")
**DHARMA and Greg:** A stuffy lawyer wakes up on a mysterious island and tries to conduct a whirlwind romance with a freespirited member of a former commune/scientific expedition/secret experiment/whatever that once existed on the island. All this while trying to probe the mysteries of the island and avoid a weird smoke monster thing and her stoner parents. Confused yet? No you’re not, but you will be… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/failed-pilot-network/551511.md?page=3)