# fake bad butter substitute names **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 26, 2010, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818 "2010-03-26T00:40:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/21 "2010-03-26T03:43:06Z")
> [@KennerTheGreat](#): > > One of the generic knockoffs of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter where I live is called “Memories Of Butter” That name cracks me up. Once I Was Butter. ---
**Author:** ![Soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/22 "2010-03-26T03:43:26Z")
Butter-ish. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/23 "2010-03-26T04:52:58Z")
Yellow Semisolid ---
**Author:** ![Terra1041](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Terra1041](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terra1041)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/24 "2010-03-29T00:33:33Z")
A store I used to shop at regularly had 1 called “is it butter?”. No capital letters, IIRC. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/25 "2010-03-29T00:41:31Z")
‘Butt’ Tag line: It’s not quite butter. ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/26 "2010-03-29T00:44:49Z")
The standard butter knock-off in Canada is “Becel.” The generative knock-off of the knock-off? “Cebel.” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/27 "2010-03-29T01:00:48Z")
One day at dinner I asked, “Could I please borrow your I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-a-butter-knife?” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/28 "2010-03-29T01:55:32Z")
The Official ‘Butter’ of the American Margarine Federation Pravda Butter God Told Me This Is Butter Small Print Industries Fake Butter ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/29 "2010-03-29T02:18:01Z")
The Diet Coke of Butter ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/30 "2010-03-29T02:19:24Z")
Facsimile of Churned and Solidified Bovine Mammary Secretions ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/31 "2010-03-29T02:36:57Z")
I can’t believe it’s palmitic, oleic, and myristic glyceride with water! ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/32 "2010-03-29T02:46:33Z")
Buckfutter ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/33 "2010-03-29T03:15:48Z")
Brummell & Brown Spread, with yogurt. (_Yogurt?_ The only buttery thing about yogurt is…buttermilk. And that ain’t very buttery.) Not only is there the yogurt issue, I despise fake people-names for products. Then there’s the word “Brown.” Nothing purporting to be a dairy product should be “Brown,” unless it’s, like chocolate. Or [gjetost](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brunost). ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/34 "2010-03-29T03:46:53Z")
Hmm…there is one girl that everyone in the office calls Margarine instead of Marjorie. But I haven’t been working here long enough yet to work out why… ---
**Author:** ![Monkey\_Chews](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@Monkey\_Chews](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monkey_Chews)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/35 "2010-03-29T04:43:38Z")
Reminds me of a [great scene from _The Vicar Of Dibley_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MsbvGmLaU4) - “Well, I can’t believe I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter and the stuff I can’t believe is not I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter are not butter, and I believe that they both just might in fact be butter, but in cunning disguises, and in fact there’s a lot more butter out there than we believe.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/36 "2010-03-29T04:57:34Z")
Butteresque No can has butter? ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/37 "2010-03-29T05:00:43Z")
yo gart butter translation: you got butter 😉 Brummel & Brown® Spread I think it’s actually very good. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/38 "2010-03-29T05:01:19Z")
Richard [Jeni](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5gch1I63kk&feature=related) Starts at 3:15 ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/39 "2010-03-29T05:33:06Z")
I can’t believe it’s nut butter. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818/40 "2010-03-29T05:42:40Z")
[Move Over Butter](http://www.seriouseats.com/images/notbutter-moveoverbutter.jpg). (whipped buttermilk) I like this stuff quite a lot. Some I’d like to see: Butter Dead Than Red! Things Go Butter With Coke (a form of coco butter, or possibly cocaine butter) Butter Homes and Gardens [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-bad-butter-substitute-names/533818.md?page=3)