# Fake boobs.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 11, 2006, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060 "2006-07-11T17:16:19Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/1 "2006-07-11T17:16:19Z")
SmithWife and I attended the birthday party of one of my daughter’s playmates this past Sunday. One of the other mothers there was sporting boobs that would make _any_ stripper proud. Thing is, she didn’t have 'em last time we saw her. 🙂 I’m guessing her husband, a lawyer, had a good year and wanted to celebrate. That got me thinking about fake boobs, which wasn’t much of a stretch since I was already thinking about _real_ boobs (I mean, what man isn’t, right?).
My dear old auntie Mable had a boob job - she was a stripper in Boston’s notorious **Combat Zone** during the height of combat - the swinging 60s. It’s disconcerting to see her, now in her 60s herself, with stand-up strippertits. She bears them proudly, though (in a manner of speaking). Anyways.
Got any stories about fake boobs? How about stories about your crazy family?
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/2 "2006-07-11T17:21:02Z")
I do not like them, Sam-I-am. I do not like fake boobs and jam.
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/3 "2006-07-11T17:24:32Z")
Pepper Mill will gleefully point out the Fake Boobs whenever they show up on TV or in a magazine. Especially Playboy.
“Those are fake. And those. Those, too.”
I have told her time and again that to many guys _it doesn’t matter_. At least as long as you’re only looking.
I’ve been told the feel is vastly different, but it’s outside my personal experience. Pepper’s all-natural.
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### Author:  [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/4 "2006-07-11T17:26:32Z")
I think if I could have some fat sucked off my ass, my boobs would look larger…However, the ones I have are my own.
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/5 "2006-07-11T17:29:08Z")
Several of my former students have gotten boob jobs for their 21st birthdays. Such a shame. OTOH, another of my students got a breast-reduction for hers. She spent the next few months showing off her new boobs, which were half the size of the old ones. Her back thanked her.
Fake Boobs™ are evil.
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### Author:  [@shizaru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shizaru)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/6 "2006-07-11T17:29:51Z")
In 2003 I was in the recruiting office with one other guy. A girl comes in and asks about joining the army. She was kind of what I would call a biker whore, by the way she was dressed, and what she was dressed in wasn’t much. daisy duke shorts, t-shirt with no sleeves and showing her midriff. And as we could see, no bra. Not that she was bad looking…she was actually pretty hot. She asks if its okay to join the army with implants and then “WHOOSH!” She lifts the shirt to show us the two incredible large bazongas on her.
I couldn’t stand up from behind my desk for 30 minutes.
I love and hate boobs at the same time, like freaking Gollum loves and hates the one ring. If a woman has a nice set I have to fight myself to NOT stare.
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### Author:  [@Twinkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Twinkie)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/7 "2006-07-11T17:41:05Z")
> [@shizaru](#):
>
> In 2003 I was in the recruiting office with one other guy. A girl comes in and asks about joining the army. She was kind of what I would call a biker whore, by the way she was dressed, and what she was dressed in wasn’t much. daisy duke shorts, t-shirt with no sleeves and showing her midriff. And as we could see, no bra. Not that she was bad looking…she was actually pretty hot. She asks if its okay to join the army with implants and then “WHOOSH!” She lifts the shirt to show us the two incredible large bazongas on her.
That sounds like Alice’s Restuarant for the “I can’t be drafted” set.
> [@Arlo Guthrie](#):
>
> And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said
> fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Alice’s Restaurant and
> walking out. And friends they may thinks it’s a movement.
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### Author:  [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/8 "2006-07-11T17:43:13Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#):
>
> SmithWife and I attended the birthday party of one of my daughter’s playmates this past Sunday.
Well, of course there’s going to be fake boobs at a party with Playmates…!
The only story I have is three close friends all getting enlargements within weeks of each other. We’re a competitive group…they’re the insecure ones.
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### Author:  [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/9 "2006-07-11T17:49:58Z")
Fake, real, perky, saggy… as long as I get to play with them, they’re all good!
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### Author:  [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/10 "2006-07-11T17:51:44Z")
My good buddy had a very messy break up with his ex in February. He had lamented her flat chestedness many a time, but their breakup was especially hard on her. She had been convinced he was the one and whenever they had spats she would hold him emotionally hostage and such. She even took to cutting herself once. It was bad. And I was very glad to hear he had cut her off. When they broke up she cut us all off from communicating with her. No email. No IM. No phone. No Myspace or Facebook etc.
And then I happen to see her in Olive Garden around town. She tried to act like nothing was wrong and I tried to be polite, so I stood up and gave her a hug and _SPLAT_ I feel something very different from when I used to hug her. I felt breasts!
After the hug I cooly get a glance and she’s now sporting some HUGE milk makers. I mean, I don’t know how I overlooked them when I first saw her - but DAMN. She’s going to have back problems with those cannons.
Oh, and do not mark me a fan of them. I prefer the smaller sizes actually. Kate Hudson has always made me drool.
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### Author:  [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/11 "2006-07-11T18:01:28Z")
> [@Bobotheoptimist](#):
>
> Fake, real, perky, saggy… as long as I get to play with them, they’re all good!
I disagree. Fake boobs, whether attached to a real woman or a plastic love doll, are fake. What’s the point? They’re no more exciting to play with than a pair of volleyballs or grapefruits or balloons. Except that they sorta look like real boobs, which just makes them creepy.
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### Author:  [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/12 "2006-07-11T18:12:18Z")
I don’t see anything wrong with fake boobs, so long as they are done for the individual sporting them and not someone else. Personally, I think [Christina Aguilera (from GQ magazine, probably NSFW!)](http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d4/diosabellissima/00002f.jpg) has the best fake boobies I’ve seen- they look so good that you know they have to be fake, but they’ve got a nice drop to them.
I’ve got a pretty big chest that looks lovely now that I’m 20, but I know it wont look so hot in 10 years. When the time comes, I wont have any issue with getting the suckers nipped, tucked, and hoisted.
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### Author:  [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/13 "2006-07-11T18:14:21Z")
A woman I know got new, fake boobs and her tubes tied within three months of her husband’s death. The Merry Widow, indeed. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/14 "2006-07-11T18:23:01Z")
See, and I’ve always wondered by Christina Aguilera decided to have boobs installed in her armpits. I agree that they’re better than the grapefruit halves that most starlets wind up with, but they’re still not in any way natural looking.
I \*hate \* those freakin grapefruit halves, though. Boobs should not look as though they’ve been bolted to your chest.
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### Author:  [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/15 "2006-07-11T18:29:32Z")
And thanks again, menfolk of the Dope, for your eloquent written admiration of the female parts. It’s always nice to feel appreciated. 🙂
Seriously. On a day to day basis (I’m not talking the nights with my fiancé 😃 ) my boobs are mainly a source of worry when choosing clothes for the workday. Low neckline? Might do damage to my “professional” look. High neckline? Makes me look fat, and feels much to hot in this hot weather anyway. Worryworryworry.
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### Author:  [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/16 "2006-07-11T18:30:50Z")
: looks down :
Hers don’t look all that different then my 20 year olds breasteses look at the moment. Her skin looks a bit tighter and they are slightly rounder in the middle. . . but yeah. My friend (also 20) has a set of DDs that look exactly like that (I’m tremendously jealous of her boobs-- I’ve never seen a set of natural breasts that large that look so damn fake.)
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### Author:  [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/17 "2006-07-11T18:34:24Z")
If I can touch them, they’re real. Case closed.
Is a Ferrari not real or less of a car because you’ve never been around the block in one?
Send me your tired, your poor, your perky…
Yes, 80 year old ones are included, depending on the state of said titties.
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### Author:  [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/18 "2006-07-11T18:38:34Z")
Did I mention that I lurve me some tits?
Cause, you know…if that didn’t get through in the initial transmission…I want to make sure that’s PERFECTLY clear.
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### Author:  [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/19 "2006-07-11T18:40:41Z")
> [@phall0106](#):
>
> I think if I could have some fat sucked off my ass, my boobs would look larger…However, the ones I have are my own.
The surgeon who invents a technique wherein a woman may get fat sucked off her ass and reinstalled in her chestal area is going to be one very, very wealthy man.
I am a member of the IBTC myself, but I really wouldn’t have it any other way. I’d look silly with big 'uns and I know gravity’s a bitch. I’ve also heard from DH that fake boobies just don’t feel quite right anyway.
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### Author:  [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2006, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-boobs/364060/20 "2006-07-11T18:45:11Z")
I want to know if anyone else besides me just hates the _word_ “boobs.”
I do not speak to people who refer to my breasts as “boobs.” My husband did it once, but he didn’t like it when I started referring to his “weenie.”
“Yes, they’re real…and they’re spectacular.” 😉
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