# Fake breasts **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 1999, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663 "1999-11-30T15:11:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Prairie\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@Prairie\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prairie_Rose)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/21 "1999-11-30T17:50:00Z")
I thought about getting it done, but the thought of a knife near “the twins” makes me nervous. Glad I didn’t- when I started breastfeeding my son, they went from 36B to 38D. Can you nurse after a boob job? However, I still want to get them lifted when I’m done childbearing. Until then, a Wonderbra will have to suffice. 😉 PR ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/22 "1999-11-30T17:56:00Z")
You ladies DO realise that EVERY SINGLE MAN is now checking out your profiles to look for a homepage with pictures, right ? ## OK, so maybe Sqrl won’t, or he might, in the interest of science 😉 Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/23 "1999-12-01T06:18:00Z")
I have heard (from people working on the Dow implants case) that the way you tell fake from real is that breasts with implants have nipples that are set higher or point up, and natural breasts have nipples at the tip. It does seem to make sense that it might be this way based on how they do the implants, inserting them into the underside of the breast. If anyone with implants would care to confirm/deny…? ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/24 "1999-12-01T06:24:00Z")
“Your breasts… they feel strange…” “They’re real.” -LA Story I guess I’ve got a bit of a double standard on breasts. I don’t like fakes… they just don’t move right and in some cases, they’re just uncomfortable. But I generally don’t notice girls unless they’re packing C cups or better. (Note, the quickest way to get my attention is still the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation, but how do you tell that from a distance? (Hey! Look at the cranium on that one!)) I’ve seen some sad looking chests in my time, and I can see why, in our body obsessed society, one of them would want to add a bit. But I don’t see why girls would want the over the top cantelope sized deals… supposedly there are men that are attracted to them, but I honestly don’t know any. Hmm… I think I like fakes clothed, and naturals unclothed. * * * [http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com) The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/25 "1999-12-01T06:25:00Z")
They’re real…and they’re spectacular. –Seinfeld episode * * * Some drink at the fountain of knowledge…others just gargle. ---
**Author:** ![saraam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@saraam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saraam)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/26 "1999-12-01T06:26:00Z")
Just as an aside, I’ve been hearing a radio commercial recently for a new method of doing the breast job, which will leave no scars. They go in through the belly button. If I had entertained the idea before, my mind is now made up. Can you just imagine how they do this? They would have to pull all your torso skin up to get in there - plus cut your belly button - which is quite possibly the most ticklish part of (some people’s) anatomy! ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/27 "1999-12-01T06:48:00Z")
Incidentally, I’ve actually handled un-inserted breast implants (exhibit 1499-a or whatever in the Dow implant case). They had little plastic cillia all over them. I’m not sure why; reduce scarring? Keep them from shifting around? One of the implants was so big I could have worn it as a hat, or used it as a seat cushion. ---
**Author:** ![torq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@torq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torq)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/28 "1999-12-01T06:59:00Z")
Anybody see the movie “Breast Men” on HBO? The plastic surgeons are giving a talk at some sort of medical convention, and they put up a picture of a badly done augmentation surgery. The younger guy says “We call this the Marty Feldman.” ---
**Author:** ![Atrael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Atrael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atrael)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/29 "1999-11-30T19:04:00Z")
torq– I actually did see that movie…anyone know how much of it was true?..“Based on the story…” leaves a lot of room for interpritation(sp). ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/30 "1999-11-30T19:06:00Z")
Well, Michelle, since you opened yourself up for this, I got a few questions. 1)Why do you tell people that they’re fake-I’m not intimating that you spout that out constantly, but knowing the stigma that they have, why would you openly declare that they are not real? 2)How exactly did you get the hardness to go away? This particular girl mentioned massage, but that seemed, well, not right. * * * Then he said, “That is that.” And then he was gone. -Dr. Seuss, \* The Cat in the Hat\* ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/31 "1999-11-30T19:12:00Z")
My nipples are right where they are supposed to be, and yes, it is possible to breast feed after having implants. (I don’t know about the breast feeding part from personal experience, just what I have heard from the doctor and from others who have had the procedure.) Sorry, but the one pic of me online doesn’t show my chest. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/32 "1999-11-30T19:32:00Z")
Like I said, I don’t talk about my chest unless the topic of fake breasts comes up. I don’t see what the big deal over plastic surgery is anyway. I was flat as a board before, and I hated it. I didn’t even fill an A cup. My chest looked like a little boy’s. I got the implants and I am now a nice, normal looking size B. I’m happy with the way I look. I am not ashamed for having had plastic surgery. If other people have a problem with plastic surgery, it is THEIR problem. I love it when people say they can tell fake breasts from the real ones, because when I tell them mine are fake they don’t believe me. Only two men have actually touched them, and both said that they could not have guessed they were fake. My breasts do not sit up under my chin and stay in one place. When I exercise or lay down they move. And as I mentioned in my above post, my nipples are right where they are supposed to be. My breasts were only hard right after the surgery. After I had healed and my skin had a chance to stretch, the firmness went away. You will just have to take my word for it though, no pictures will be posted. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/33 "1999-11-30T19:37:00Z")
Oh, and in regards to massage, that IS the way to reduce firmness in breast implants. My surgeon instructed me to do this after my surgery. I don’t think it is something you keep doing long term, just after the procedure is done. Also, JFTR, my implants are about 9 years old and are made of silicone. ---
**Author:** ![omni-not](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8dc957/32.png) [@omni-not](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/omni-not)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/34 "1999-11-30T20:12:00Z")
Michelle: You’re sure you won’t reconsider? About the pictures, I mean. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/35 "1999-11-30T20:16:00Z")
Michelle, congratulations. Yours is one of the few sensible breast augmentation stories that I have heard. Reconstructive surgery, of course, is also a special case. I think most of us only associate implants with ridiculous pinups and deformed porn stars. In those cases, I add my voice to the chorus – **yuck!**. But the fact is that men find breasts visually and sexually stimulating. Men who deny this are fooling themselves, trying to get laid (odds do not favor this tactic, in my eexperience), or in the extreme minority. Obviously, breasts are not the only sexual signal a women posesses (personally, they are no higher than fourth on my list of favorite female body parts) but they are one of the most prominent. Confession 43: I like large breasts. I even like large fake breasts, so long as they do not grow ridiculous, but only to look at. And only when the woman is in a generally upright posture. Of the sets I have seen up close and personal, none of them hang properly when she was on top, they all looked silly when she was on her back, and none of them felt right to my hand or mouth. * * * - The best lack all conviction The worst are full of passionate intensity. \* ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/36 "1999-11-30T20:20:00Z")
Damn. If a moderator sees this will he/she please edit a \< /b \> after yuck! in the above. I hate not beeing able to go back and fix my typoes ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/37 "1999-11-30T20:21:00Z")
Has anybody but me checked for airline reservations to Tampa? * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/38 "1999-11-30T20:24:00Z")
Heh. Why not try Springfield in about 2 weeks, Unc? She’ll be back from school and, as I said, she’s already offered to show 'em. * * * Then he said, “That is that.” And then he was gone. -Dr. Seuss, \* The Cat in the Hat\* ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/39 "1999-11-30T20:25:00Z")
$173 out of Newark with a Wednesday or Thursday departure and Saturday stay, 14 days in advance on Continental. * * * Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/40 "1999-11-30T21:19:00Z")
KentT sez: > [@](#): > > “She’s in the hospital having her breasts reduced from a DD to a C cup” > > “On purpose?” Yes, people do this on purpose…I might in a year. Trust me…having large breasts isn’t always fun. Back pain, bra straps that cut into your arms, buying blouses in huge sizes so they button… _sigh_ * * * “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.” - George Carlin [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663.md?page=3)