# Fake breasts **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 1999, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663 "1999-11-30T15:11:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/41 "1999-11-30T21:25:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Of the sets I have seen up close and personal, none of them hang properly when > she was on top, they all looked silly when she was on her back… Please, please tell me how breasts should “properly” hang - I would be so embarassed if mine were to look silly. (sarcasm) * * * Formerly unknown as “Melanie” ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/42 "1999-11-30T21:35:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Please, please tell me how breasts should “properly” hang - I would be so embarassed if mine were to look silly. Well, for starters, Sax, I’m always dazzled if they face the same direction… * * * Then he said, “That is that.” And then he was gone. -Dr. Seuss, \* The Cat in the Hat\* ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/43 "1999-11-30T21:38:00Z")
Well, to try to answer a bit about the OP, when my girlfriend got her nipples pierced about a month ago, she was very excited about it, and offered to show people who ordinarily she would not even really talk to. I don’t blame her, she’s got the best breasts I’ve ever seen, and the little rings (well, replaced with bars now) in the nipples are just so enticing! Since then she’s calmed down a little about it. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/44 "1999-11-30T21:42:00Z")
When I met Michelle, she didn’t look like Fake Boobie Woman to me 🙂 Now for my own confession: I might get implants after I’m done sprouting babies. My boobs went from an “Adolescent A” to a “Sort of C” after my son was born (who knows where they will be when I lose this weight) and they now droop. This is my fault, for being a braless hippy flower child, but still. It bothers me. So I might get them reinflated. I knew a woman when I was a dancer who had a fake boob. Yes. _A_ fake boob. Not _fake boobs_. She had her children and her boobs got huge. Then afterward one went back to its original size. The other didn’t. SO she got one implant to make them look the same. I’ve felt them… you can’t tell which is which. * * * – O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/45 "1999-11-30T21:42:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I have heard (from people working on the Dow implants case) that the way you tell fake from real is that breasts with implants have nipples that are set higher or point up, and natural breasts have nipples at the tip. It does seem to make sense that it might be this way based on how they do the implants, inserting them into the underside of the breast. If anyone with implants would care to confirm/deny…? Short answer: no. I’ve seen “looking up” boob jobs, “looking down” boobjobs, and even “crosseyed” boobjobs. If the nipples aren’t properly placed it means the surgeon SUCKED. It isn’t the way they are supposed to look. Also, the way they do most boob jobs these days is to cut around the nipple and poke them through the front, or go in at the armpit. * * * – O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 1999, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/46 "1999-11-30T21:45:00Z")
Yeah, that’s kinda what I was talking about, Nerd. It’s just so odd to me that women normally do not just whip out their breasts for a look. But when they get something done to them, pierced nipples or enlargement, whatever, they seem to lose all taboo about letting people see them. I experienced the same thing about this time last year, when a girl I was trying to date got her clit pierced. She immediately asked if I wanted to see it. I said no at first, but she insisted throughout the night, so I finally gave in. She was a an ex-stripper, though, so I just chalked it up to her exhibitionist tendencies. I’m finding out now that it extends to other women as well, if not to the same regions. * * * Then he said, “That is that.” And then he was gone. -Dr. Seuss, \* The Cat in the Hat\* ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/47 "1999-12-01T00:19:00Z")
That’s next. Well, hood, not her clit directly. And shh, I wasn’t supposed to tell. ---
**Author:** ![BrainWeasel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@BrainWeasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainWeasel)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/48 "1999-12-01T00:20:00Z")
> [@](#): > > You ladies DO realise that EVERY SINGLE MAN is now checking out your profiles to look for a homepage with pictures, right? Hey, Coldfire, is that every single guy or every guy who is single? Sometimes you have to wonder about the fantasies of some of those surgeons. What does it say when they turn out oversized, unnaturally shaped, balloons taped to your chest looking things? Do they dream of two five-foot-radius tits with a little two-inch-tall woman attached to them? ---
**Author:** ![BrainWeasel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@BrainWeasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainWeasel)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/49 "1999-12-01T00:26:00Z")
I recently met someone who, after knowing me for less than a month, felt nothing wrong with nonchalantly mentioning her deliberation over getting her clit pierced. She said that she had had two friends do it already, and that one of them had orgasmed from it and the other had fainted from the pain, and she was weighing her odds of getting a cheap thrill. ## I have to admit that, when I first saw this topic, I thought it was about something drag queens used, rather than implants. Oops. :o -BrainWeasel Squeaks from BrainWeasel’s Cage [http://brainweasel.home.att.net](http://brainweasel.home.att.net) ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/50 "1999-12-01T01:40:00Z")
I personally am disappointed to think women feel they have the need to have breasts of a particular size in orer to feel complete or confident, and that you’d augment them artificially to compensate. Sure, being flat-chested I guess would make you feel self-conscious, especially if you wanted to wear a bikini or something similarly revealing. But I feel self conscious about my lack of chest-muscle too - I don’t even consider doing anything to myself (even exercise) to change me. Oh well. This isn’t a judgement, I’m just a bit saddened by it all. * * * -PIGEONMAN- Hero For A New Millennium! [The Legend Of PigeonMan](http://www.hotkey.net.au/~guanolad/pigeonman/) - updates every Wed & Sat. If I can be bothered. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/51 "1999-12-01T01:42:00Z")
By the way, I like small to non-existent breasts myself. But then, I’m weird. 🙂 * * * -PIGEONMAN- Hero For A New Millennium! [The Legend Of PigeonMan](http://www.hotkey.net.au/~guanolad/pigeonman/) - updates every Wed & Sat. If I can be bothered. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/52 "1999-12-01T07:27:00Z")
I was with a girl with implants and a nipple ring in both nips. At first, I was kinda mellow, feeling my way around, gentle-like. Then I realized, fuck it, she sliced up open and put some stuff inside them, and then she punched holes in them! There is NOTHING I can do that would hurt these pippies! * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/53 "1999-12-01T14:50:00Z")
## Brian, you’re a man after my own heart! How do you like that! And without so much as a “Kiss my foot” or “Have an apple”! ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/54 "1999-12-01T14:53:00Z")
Nerd-The girl I knew lived up three very long flights of stairs, and said she loved every minute of walking up them after she got it. I’d like to point out here that I’m not complaining in the least about this. The change in behavior just made me curious. I may just make a concerted effort to find her when Christmas break rolls around… * * * Then he said, “That is that.” And then he was gone. -Dr. Seuss, \* The Cat in the Hat\* ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/55 "1999-12-01T15:22:00Z")
FTR, I like breasts in general. Anything from mosquito bites to canteloupes. Size is not as important as shape: somewhat firm and roundish is nice. _But_ I have one problem with boobjobs that have been done via the aureolas: nipples are not as sensitive. IMHO, _nothing_ short of life-saving procedure is worth losing nipple sensitivity. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/56 "1999-12-01T16:40:00Z")
Agreeing with the hippie from Tennessee… I’ve never met (or sucked, or licked, or felt) a pair I didn’t like! * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/57 "1999-12-01T17:18:00Z")
My surgery was done around the nipples. They are the same now as they were before. ---
**Author:** ![KentT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@KentT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KentT)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 1999, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/58 "1999-12-01T17:38:00Z")
KentT sez: > [@](#): > > “She’s in the hospital having her breasts reduced from a DD to a C cup” > > “On purpose?” Falcon wrote: > [@](#): > > Yes, people do this on purpose…I might in a year. Trust me…having large breasts isn’t always fun. Back pain, bra straps that cut into your arms, buying blouses in huge sizes so they button… _sigh_ That was a joke from some sitcom, I couldn’t quite remember which one so I didn’t write the source. Might have been Third Rock from the Sun. I thought it was pretty funny. I actually know two women (one of them _hands on_ if you will) who had breast reductions in high school. She went from very big to a C, with the incisions made around the nipples which were also made smaller. I couldn’t see any scarring though and if I hadn’t seen her before I never would have known. They were quite magnificently shaped though. * * * “No! You can’t take my medicine, I need every brain cell blazing to outwit my invisible enemies!” ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 1999, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/59 "1999-12-02T06:02:00Z")
In a visual sense, I prefer natural looking breasts that are perky. Besides, breasts look larger out of the bra anyway. 😉 The _main_ concern for me is how sensitive they are; how much attention they like to recieve. If a woman doesn’t get a charge out of having them licked, sucked, and fondled, then I will focus more on the body parts that \*do \* like the attention. But then again, I’m wierd. 😃 * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 1999, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663/60 "1999-12-02T06:25:00Z")
KentT - Yeah, I figured it was a joke…and it _is_ pretty funny. Just wanted to give the opposite point of view, I suppose… _grin_ No slam on you intended, babe. * * * “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.” - George Carlin [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-breasts/11663.md?page=4)