# Fake Country Songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 11, 2000, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980 "2000-01-11T19:20:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WIGGUM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WIGGUM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WIGGUM)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/1 "2000-01-12T06:56:00Z")
Create the title of a fictional country song. Here are a few that only need the lyrics to be billboard smashes. “My Girl Left Me (I Think I’ll Go Chew Snuff)” “The Gunrack of my Heart is Empty Since I Lost You” “Her Kisses Taste Like Roadkill” “My Tractor and My Love Are Out of Gas” ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/2 "2000-01-12T06:57:00Z")
If you look long enough, you can probably find the list of humorous c/w songs making the rounds of the internet. sample: While my John Deere was breaking your field, your dear John was breaking my heart. ---
**Author:** ![WIGGUM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WIGGUM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WIGGUM)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/3 "2000-01-11T19:20:00Z")
I got that email today. It was my inspiration for this post. ---
**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/4 "2000-01-11T19:32:00Z")
I was drunk the day my momma got out of prison… ---
**Author:** ![Atrael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Atrael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atrael)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/5 "2000-01-11T19:44:00Z")
So I went TO pick her up In the Rain. ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/6 "2000-01-11T20:01:00Z")
Two Tequilas and a Can of Snuff. My Momma Shore is Purty. Love is Nice, innit? Only You Could Keep Me Away From the Tractor Pull. This Bud’s for You, Dear. I Love that Shade of Pink. My Boots, My Hat, and Thou. ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/7 "2000-01-11T20:12:00Z")
You obviously haven’t listened to enough country music to know that real songs are more unintentionally hilarious than made up ones. (If you don’t want to go to) _Fist City_ (you better detour around my town) _Don’t Come Come A-Drinkin_ (with lovin’ on your mind) _Your Squaw is on the Warpath_ * * * Come, let us go, I’ve a cask of amontillado. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/8 "2000-01-11T20:17:00Z")
“Dropkick me, Jesus, thru the goalposts of life.” “They don’t make Jews like Jesus anymore.” The first one was a real record. Someone else told me about the second, but I have not personally heard it. ---
**Author:** ![JBENZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b77776/32.png) [@JBENZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBENZ)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/9 "2000-01-11T21:03:00Z")
But before I coud get To the station In my PICKUUUUP TRUCK * * * JB Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/10 "2000-01-11T21:22:00Z")
My Dog got run over by a dammed old train. Chorus: you Nevver called me darling, darling * * * You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!! ---
**Author:** ![JBENZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b77776/32.png) [@JBENZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBENZ)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/11 "2000-01-11T22:41:00Z")
Harumph…ain’t it against the rules for Canucks to sing The Perfect Country Song? 😉 To wit: SHE got run over by a damned ol’ train. Chorus: So I’ll hang around as long as you will let me… Carry on. * * * JB Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/12 "2000-01-11T22:54:00Z")
Canuck, sheesh …sorry, its been twenty years since I heard the song…carrying on “and I never minded standing in the rain” * * * You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!! ---
**Author:** ![Ursa\_Major](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a88e57/32.png) [@Ursa\_Major](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ursa_Major)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/13 "2000-01-11T22:58:00Z")
I got my truck It’s four wheel drive I go huntin’ critters Shoot 'em right between the eyes I got my wife She knows her place Either workin’ in the kitchen Or a sittin’ on my face Thankyouthankyouverymuch! I’ll write the rest of this song when my wife isn’t looking. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/14 "2000-01-11T23:40:00Z")
## oooh ! Somebody, please go and find the lyrics to the song that was played in the Simpsons episode that had Krusty plugging some 4WD car at the end of it. He was driving along with Bart in the passenger seat and there was this BRILLIANT country song. I think the car was called the “Silverado” or somehting… hang on, I’ll do a little seach. * * * Coldfire: second to none but Satan. * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/15 "2000-01-11T23:43:00Z")
DAMN, the Silverado is a real Chevy 😉 ## It ended in -rado, I remember that much… * * * Coldfire: second to none but Satan. * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/16 "2000-01-11T23:56:00Z")
Yeah ! I found it !! Ladies and Gentlemen, I proudly present: The Canyonero! " Can you name the truck with four wheel drive, smells like a steak and seats thirty-five… Canyonero! (Whip-crack) Canyonero! (Whip-Crack!) Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down, It’s the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown! Canyonero! (Yah! Whip-Crack) Canyonero! (Whipcrack.) (Hey Hey) (The Federal Highway comission has ruled the Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving) Canyonero! (Whipcrack.) (Fox sound) 12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American Pride! Canyonero! (Whip-Crack) Canyonero! (Whipcrack.) Top of the line in utility sports, Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts! Canyonero! (Whip-Crack) Canyonero! (Yah! Whipcrack.) She blinds everybody with her super high beams, She’s a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah! Whipcrack.) Drive Canyonero! Woah Canyonero! ## Woah! " Top THAT… I remember falling on the FLOOR when I saw that episode 🙂 * * * Coldfire: second to none but Satan. * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/17 "2000-01-12T02:33:00Z")
My favorite real country song title: _I’ve been so miserable since you’ve left me, it’s like you still were here_ ---
**Author:** ![sly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@sly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sly)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/18 "2000-01-12T02:58:00Z")
_You been treatin’ me like you treat yer Depends_ _Our dogs are doin’ it, why cain’t we?_ _Put another 'coon on the 'barbie_ _Here’s to me and yer sister … Mom_ ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/19 "2000-01-12T03:40:00Z")
My favorite country song: She got the gold mine (I got the shaft) * * * “Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.” ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980/20 "2000-01-12T04:50:00Z")
_Get Off Me Daddy (You’re Smushin’ My Cigarettes)_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-country-songs/12980.md?page=2)