# Fake Literary Recommendations **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 15, 2013, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307 "2013-10-15T14:38:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![NVME702-redux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a183cd/32.png) [@NVME702-redux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NVME702-redux)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/21 "2013-10-15T20:27:14Z")
“I like this book, I really do! You will like it, if you read it too!!” Dr. Seuss ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/22 "2013-10-16T15:00:44Z")
“This book should be required reading. That’s not an expression- I really mean it. Armed federal agents should break into your home and kill you if you don’t read it.” - Michael Moore “This is the reason God created Cliff Notes.” - Cormac McCarthy “Though J.D. Salinger is tragically gone, I am confident this book will carry on his tradition and inspire future generations of misfits, freaks, losers, and serial killers.” - Mark David Chapman ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/23 "2013-10-16T15:10:53Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > “Though J.D. Salinger is tragically gone, I am confident this book will carry on his tradition and inspire future generations of misfits, freaks, losers, and serial killers.” - Mark David Chapman Oh, ouch. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/24 "2013-10-16T16:06:04Z")
“I am compelled to say that this is doubleplus good. You will read it, and you will enjoy it.” George Orwell. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/25 "2013-10-16T16:31:09Z")
“I can’t read.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/26 "2013-10-16T17:07:06Z")
“This book is laugh-out-loud, side-slittingly, spit-out-your-coffee funny! That it’s about the death camps of Pol Pot is secondary.” -Stephen Ambrose ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/27 "2013-10-16T19:38:33Z")
“Can’t put it down. Literally!” --Edward Scissorhands “Great with fava beans and a nice chianti.” --Hannibal Lecter “The best 10 inches in my life!” --Ron Jeremy “A way to pass time!” --Sir Thomas Crapper “Arf!” --Max the golden retriever ---
**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2013, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/28 "2013-10-16T20:40:25Z")
“From the moment I picked this book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.” --Groucho Marx (Actually a paraphrase of a real quote, I just like it a lot.) ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/29 "2013-10-17T15:07:22Z")
“THIS is the reason I invented the printing press.” - Johann Gutenberg ---
**Author:** ![Klytus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Klytus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klytus)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/30 "2013-10-18T17:00:41Z")
“Classier than a frat house circle-jerk.” - Larry Flynt ---
**Author:** ![inedible\_knapsack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/49beb7/32.png) [@inedible\_knapsack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inedible_knapsack)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/31 "2013-10-18T17:26:38Z")
“The most convincing fiction since the Holocaust.” - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/32 "2013-10-18T17:43:26Z")
“If you don’t have a TV, an XBox, a Wii, or a Gameboy, I suppose there must be SOME worse way to kill an hour than by reading this book.” - Greg Heffley ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/33 "2013-10-18T19:27:30Z")
[Austrian accent] “This book is super fantastic!!!” [/Austrian accent]–Arnold Schwarzenegger ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/34 "2013-10-18T19:59:43Z")
“After landing at the sparkling new high-tech airport in in Beijing, which far outshines any airport in the increasingly decrepit United States, I took a taxi to the mega-modern hotel where the world economic summit was being held. The taxi driver told me, “The Earth is becoming a much smaller place.” His words echoed in my brain, as I realized that Walt Disney was right: it’s a small world after all, albeit one in dire need of more investment in its educational infrastructure… where was I? Oh yeah, read this book.” -Thomas Friedman ---
**Author:** ![inedible\_knapsack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/49beb7/32.png) [@inedible\_knapsack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inedible_knapsack)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/35 "2013-10-18T20:47:38Z")
“I wish to heaven I had never laid eyes on the maddening horrors so magnificently carved in the bas reliefs of that cyclopean underwater city, or those stupendous nightmares described in the mad screeds of Abdul Alhazred. I feared I would no longer take delight in the things of this world, and my dreams would ever be filled with phantastical images of the dread Old Ones. All that was left for me was to read this book, which was recommended by a dear old colleague and professor from Miskatonic University. I must confess, now, the truth; it wasn’t very good.” - Oswald Whateley ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/36 "2013-10-19T04:44:21Z")
“This book was manufactured in a Deltrex 97-50 printing press, which left its mark on the microscopic irregularities of the back cover, which when I run my fingers across it reminds me of the perfect yet irregular surface of my wife’s inner left thigh.” – Nicholson Baker ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/37 "2013-10-19T05:18:21Z")
“Not fucking bad. Not fucking bad at all.” David Mamet ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/38 "2013-10-19T06:21:07Z")
“I loved the fuck scenes.” Plutarch. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/39 "2013-10-19T06:40:54Z")
“Mercifully short.” --Stephen King “Definitely not one of my pseudonyms.” J.K. Rowling ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307/40 "2013-10-19T13:46:52Z")
“The single best book without fart jokes ever written!” --François Rabelais [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-literary-recommendations/671307.md?page=3)