# Fake things you wish were real **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Tags:** middle-earth\ **Created:** [June 27, 2025, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199 "2025-06-27T16:51:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/61 "2025-06-28T23:12:49Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > > [@Moriarty](#): > > > > Sure, I’m land locked here on earth, but it’d still be interesting to read about what’s out there. > > It’s “Mostly harmless.” I meant the stuff on other planets. I get that the earth doesn’t note that much of an entry. But what if Alpha Centauri has a whole chapter?! ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/62 "2025-06-28T23:13:46Z")
The Puppeteers are such manipulative, cowardly, lying sthondats! Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/63 "2025-06-28T23:23:01Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > Another Niven observation is with a teleportation system that doesn’t require some apparatus at both ends, you don’t get a society, you get a short war. Which begs the question of how and why they build big starships in the _Star Trek_ universe when anyone could just find a phase gap in the shield frequencies or whatever technobabble and beam a small explosive device next to the warp core, causing it to disintegrate into a flash of enormous energy. > [@Moriarty](#): > > I meant the stuff on other planets. I get that the earth doesn’t note that much of an entry. > > But what if Alpha Centauri has a whole chapter?! Written by the researcher so ill-prepared and constantly inebriated that he thought the name “Ford Prefect” would be nicely inconspicuous? You would learn more by reading _The Celestial Home Care Omnibus_ or just sticking a fish in your ear and joining the Campaign for Real Time. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![vbob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vbob/32/4439_2.png) [@vbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vbob)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/64 "2025-06-28T23:27:26Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Have you seen how poorly drivers deal with _two_ dimensions? Heinlein’s ‘The Number of the Beast’ has a flying car that operates in four dimensions. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/65 "2025-06-28T23:36:57Z")
> [@vbob](#): > > > [@running\_coach](#): > > > > Have you seen how poorly drivers deal with _two_ dimensions? > > Heinlein’s ‘The Number of the Beast’ has a flying car that operates in four dimensions. - That makes it _infinitely_ worse. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/66 "2025-06-29T00:41:51Z")
Actually _six_ dimensions; three spatial and three time dimensions. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/67 "2025-06-29T01:00:12Z")
Portable holes [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/XaakNHzFoXE/maxresdefault.jpg "The Hole Idea (1955) Opening and Closing") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaakNHzFoXE) ---
**Author:** ![dorvann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df705f/32.png) [@dorvann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorvann)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/68 "2025-06-29T01:07:54Z")
A flying car. Not just any flying car though–the flying time traveling DeLorean from _Back to the Future._ or maybe the Time Belt from David Gerrold’s _The Man Who Folded Himself_ Speaking of teleporters, replicators and Holodecks–how about a fully functioning Intrepid-class starship from _Star Trek: Voyager_. Maybe outfitted with a cloaking device. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/69 "2025-06-29T01:09:05Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Actually _six_ dimensions; three spatial and three time dimensions. - Where does The Fifth Dimension fit in? ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/70 "2025-06-29T01:11:36Z")
Well, if we are being silly, i want Harold’s purple crayon. I don’t want anyone else to have it, though. Just me. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/71 "2025-06-29T01:49:54Z")
Up in a balloon. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/72 "2025-06-29T02:04:22Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Up Up _and_ away. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/73 "2025-06-29T02:18:01Z")
1. Scalable room-temp superconductors (goodbye, electric bill) 2. Mermaids (hello, sweetheart) Not necessarily in that order ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/74 "2025-06-29T04:06:42Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Actually _six_ dimensions; three spatial and three time dimensions. You definitely don’t want that. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/75 "2025-06-29T04:42:03Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > > > Is getting stuck in the holodeck any worse than the ship’s computer malfunctioning and you get stuck in engineering? > > Well, it is when you are in a simulation of a “Gunfight at the OK Corral”, or a spy caper where you are strapped to a missile impending upon launch, or a mobster story where suddenly the gats spit real hot lead into your belly. I think there’s an important distinction between _“the computer is malfunctioning and I can’t end this program so I’m stuck in here”_ and _“The computer is malfunctioning and is actively trying to kill me.”_ Because I feel in the latter case, it doesn’t really matter if you’re in the holodeck or not. You’re in a spaceship; if the computer decides it wants to kill the crew, you’re going to have a dead crew. [On that note…](https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/far-will-ai-go-defend-survival-rcna209609) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/76 "2025-06-29T05:06:19Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > I would want the gizmo from Robert Heinlein’s The Number of the Beast that allowed travel to an infinite number of universes. I’d go to Omelas and set the scapegoat kid free. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/77 "2025-06-29T13:01:13Z")
My Resume ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/78 "2025-06-29T13:12:58Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > A flying car for me, not for thee. Like some kind of expensive private helicopter? ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/79 "2025-06-29T14:49:26Z")
My Work experience: UNIT: 2020-2025 (Occasionally 2135) SHIELD: 2010-2020 ---
**Author:** ![Ynnad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4491bb/32.png) [@Ynnad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ynnad)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199/80 "2025-06-29T18:11:49Z")
I actually saw a flying car up in the air in the early 1980s. No one believes me. It wasn’t like the ones in _The Jetsons_ or _Blade Runner._ It was more like the one featured in _Popular Mechanics_ in the 1970s. You had to detach the wings and pull them on a little trailer when you drove on the highway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fake-things-you-wish-were-real/1020199.md?page=5)