# Fakin' again: FAKE BOOKS (list or guess 'em) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 13, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061 "2007-02-13T19:36:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/61 "2007-02-14T23:25:18Z")
Since no one will tell me if my previous answer was correct, I’ll pose a question of my own. Who wrote **Death by Double Fault**? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/62 "2007-02-15T00:14:11Z")
_The Book of Shadows_ in _Dread Brass Shadows_. A magical book filled with 100 brass pages, each of which is a spell allowing the owner of the book to take on a new persona, with all the powers and abilities involved. Want to be a werewolf ? An assassin ? A master swordsman ? Just turn to that page. And if you’re killed, only the persona you are using is destroyed; you still have 99 other lives. _Donnermusik, Boke of Liedwahr, The Naturale Philsophie, Proverbes of Neserea_; all books from _The Soprano Sorceress_ _Keloqq’s Musings on Excarnation Theory, Groundline Interaction with the Tallysin Aura in Controlled Environments, Traditional Dances and Heightened-State Mental Acuity_, all from _Doc Sidhe_. _The Book of Knightly Vigour_ by the Count of Hyfel, a book of “special” recipes that supposedly rendered the writer vigorous enough in bed to satisfy his 27 wives. From _Traveller in Black_. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/63 "2007-02-15T03:26:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Unaussprechlichen Kulten aka Nameless Cults aka The Black Book, from Howard’s contributions to the Cthulhu Mythos. Post #19 ---
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/64 "2007-02-15T03:34:41Z")
[QUOTE=Asimovian] _sigh_ I really, really thought that the thread title said “FAKE BOOBS.” … [/QUOTE] So did I. This thread has been a great disappointment. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/65 "2007-02-15T03:50:33Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Bongo] …like the myriad of nonexistent works cited by Jorge Luis Borges in his short fiction. [/QUOTE] Such as the billions and billions of books of random gibberish that line the shelves of the Library of Babel? Not sure if they have titles, but one phrase (which also crops up in the Encyclopedia of Tlon) is “axaxaxas mlo”. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/66 "2007-02-15T04:07:33Z")
_The Mystery of the Pink Crayfish_, one of the many works by Rex West. Bertie Wooster likes Rex West’s work. So do his aunts, at times. _Spindrift_, a book by one of the many women Bertie manages not to marry. _Nimsowich on Chess_–which either Vardebedian or Gossage (I’ve forgotten which) smuggled out of the library. _Encyclopedia Galactica_ (I don’t think anyone’s mentioned it so far.) Thomas Pynchon has the _Chums of Chance_ series, along with a lot of other works. Nabakov has a lot of them, including a book titled _Lolita_, within his novel of the same name. The made-up _Lolita_ has a long subtitle I can’t remember exactly right now. _Tristram Shandy_ has a bunch of made-up books, too. _Under the Hood_, by one of the characters in _The Watchmen_ ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/67 "2007-02-15T04:10:04Z")
[QUOTE=JKellyMap] Such as the billions and billions of books of random gibberish that line the shelves of the Library of Babel? Not sure if they have titles, but one phrase (which also crops up in the Encyclopedia of Tlon) is “axaxaxas mlo”. [/QUOTE] Borges had plenty of made-up books with titles, IIRC. The only title that comes to mind right now is _The Garden of Forking Paths_. ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/68 "2007-02-15T07:30:46Z")
Well, if it’s [FAKE BOOBS](http://www.fake-detective.com/) you’re looking for… ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/69 "2007-02-15T11:12:44Z")
[QUOTE=Scribble] _Under the Hood_, by one of the characters in _The Watchmen_ [/QUOTE] Hollis Mason, formerly _Nite Owl_ (the first). _Life_, by Unspiek, Baron Boddissey. _The Avatar’s Apprentice, from ‘Scroll from the Ninth Dimension’_. Both are quoted in all five of Jack Vance’s _Demon Princes_ series. There are many other cites from fictitious works throughout the series, too. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/70 "2007-02-15T15:20:53Z")
[QUOTE=RealityChuck] **Emperor of the Asteroids The Builders of Mars Fight for the Stars The Twilight of Terra Savior from Space The Master Race The Thousand Year Rule The Triumph of the Will Tomorrow the World** All by the noted science fiction writer Adolph Hitler. [/QUOTE] You forgot the main one- LORD OF THE SWASTIKA. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/71 "2007-02-15T15:24:07Z")
[QUOTE=Scribble] Nabakov has a lot of them, including a book titled _Lolita_, within his novel of the same name. The made-up _Lolita_ has a long subtitle I can’t remember exactly right now. [/QUOTE] “LOLITA: Memoirs of a White Widowed Male” IIRC Now for mine- Atlanta Hope’s TELEMACHUS SNEEZED and the Dickensian MILES COWPERTHWAITE. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/72 "2007-02-15T16:01:05Z")
**Over Open Sights** by Jake Featherston. President of the Confederate States of America. It’s an alternate history version of _Mien Kampf_. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Bongo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a9adbd/32.png) [@Winston\_Bongo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Bongo)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/73 "2007-02-15T16:27:25Z")
I just remembered another, more obscure one: \*\*The Back Door of History \*\* by Arpad Arutinov, quoted in many of R.A. Lafferty’s short stories. For a long time I wasn’t even sure if it was a real book or not. Like Borges, Lafferty liked to mix both real and fictional references into his stories. If I recall correctly, he occasionally even made up fake quotes from real authors; at least one of his stories had a poem by Chesterton that I’m pretty sure doesn’t exist, at least in our universe. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/74 "2007-02-15T16:29:54Z")
[QUOTE=Asimovian] I really, really thought that the thread title said “FAKE BOOBS.” I’m not sure if it’s a case of being too tired to browse or simply wishful thinking. [/QUOTE] Same here. I was all set to list my guesses but then I saw that the thread required that there book-larnin’. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/75 "2007-02-15T16:39:16Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] You forgot the main one- LORD OF THE SWASTIKA. [/QUOTE] That one [actually exists](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Iron_Dream). It just was written using a pseudonym and has a different name for US publication. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/76 "2007-02-15T16:46:22Z")
Several from John Irving’s “The World According to Garp” Jenny Fields’s “Sexual Suspect,” with the famous first line: In this dirty minded world, you are either somebody’s whore or somebody’s mother–or fast on your way to becoming one or the other.: Her son T.S. Garp wrote “Procrastination,” “The Second Wind of the Cuckold” The Pension Grillpanzer" and “The World According to Breinshemier.” Poet Ellen James’s first book “Speeches Delivered to Children and Animals.” Also Snoopy’s favorite author Miss Helen Sweetstory has The Six Bunny Wunnys" series. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/77 "2007-02-15T17:13:05Z")
_The Adventures of Flotter_, a beloved kids’ book from _Star Trek: Voyager_. _Chicago Gangs of the 1920s_, a book which changes an entire alien culture in the original _Star Trek_ series episode “A Piece of the Action.” _The Shadow of the Wind_, a Gothic adventure referred to at length in the actual novel of the same name by Carlos Ruiz Zafon (trust me, when you read the book, it all makes sense). _Just a Shop Girl_, a very bad romance novel mentioned in P.G. Wodehouse’s deliriously funny Jeeves and Wooster writings. _The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy_, of course. The real thing, with the friendly words “Don’t Panic!” printed on the cover. ---
**Author:** ![Intelligently\_Designed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intelligently_designed/32/20957_2.png) [@Intelligently\_Designed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intelligently_Designed)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/78 "2007-02-15T23:08:23Z")
A virtual truckload of fake books can be found [here](http://www.answers.com/topic/list-of-fictional-books). ---
**Author:** ![cooky173](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71c47a/32.png) [@cooky173](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cooky173)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/79 "2007-02-16T02:16:44Z")
\*\*There and Back Again, A Hobbits Holiday \*\* by Bilbo Baggins. **The Travels of Jain Farstrider** author unknown, from the Wheel of Time series. ---
**Author:** ![5\_time\_champ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/278dde/32.png) [@5\_time\_champ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5_time_champ)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/80 "2007-02-16T02:41:37Z")
Yeah, John Irving had a bunch. _Learning to Grow_ by Lily can’t think of the family’s last name in **The Hotel New Hampshire** Stephen Colbert’s _Alpha Squad 7: Lady Nocturne, a Tek Jansen Adventure_ Cosmo Kramer’s coffee table book about coffee tables. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061.md?page=5)