# Fakin' again: FAKE BOOKS (list or guess 'em) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 13, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061 "2007-02-13T19:36:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/81 "2007-02-16T03:00:31Z")
From P. G. Wodehouse’s **Leave It To Psmith** , pretentious but surly Canadian poet Ralston MacTodd’s _magnum opus_ “Songs Of Squalor”: of which, sadly, only the line “Across the pale parabola of joy…” survives. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/82 "2007-02-16T03:22:58Z")
[QUOTE=Robot Arm] Since no one will tell me if my previous answer was correct, I’ll pose a question of my own. Who wrote **Death by Double Fault**? [/QUOte] St. John Lord Merridew of course. It’s one of my all time fave films and I was tickled to see that jump out at me. ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/83 "2007-02-16T03:24:49Z")
Well, there’s _The Rooster Crowed at Midnight_, the mystery novel with the missing last page from an episode of _M_A_S_H\*. As I recall, they call the author to find out whodunit, but she’s an absentminded elderly lady who doesn’t remember the answer herself. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/84 "2007-02-16T05:16:09Z")
And we mustn’t forget the _Red Book of Westmarch_, the ancient tome which formed the basis for Prof. Tolkien’s research that resulted in _The Lord of the Rings_. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/85 "2007-02-16T12:33:51Z")
_Toad Sexing For Fun & Profit._ ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/86 "2007-02-16T13:25:34Z")
Irving Wallace’s book “Seven Minutes” talks about the most banned book in the world, which covers seven minutes of thought by a woman having sex. The banned book’s title? SEVEN MINUTES ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/87 "2007-02-16T13:27:31Z")
Stanislas Lem wrote two books of reviews on nonexistent books. I tried reading one, but couldn’t get into it. ---
**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/88 "2007-02-16T17:10:57Z")
Among others, _Candida Confesses_ and _Tintoretto’s Daughter_, by Isadora White Wing. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/89 "2007-02-17T13:47:11Z")
Two pages and no mention of Paul Sheldon’s “Misery” series? ---
**Author:** ![Promethea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Promethea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Promethea)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/90 "2007-02-17T15:05:38Z")
Robert Rankin often features a film noir-ish detective called Lazlo Woodbine (“Some call him Laz”) who talks about pasts books including: **And The Crowd Ran Screaming** **Blonde In A Bodybag** **Bodies On The Backlot** Of course, in Rankin’s world there is also Hugo Rune and his **Book Of Ultimate Truths**. And curse you Larry Mudd for beating me to De Selby’s _Golden Hours_😉 . "_It was for De Selby that I committed my first sin. It was for him that I committed my greatest sin"._ ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/91 "2007-02-17T16:35:50Z")
How about… **Blood on the Badge,** the book Harris was always working on in the TV sitcom “Barney Miller.” Or **Multitudes, Multitudes,** the anti-war novel villainous Tom Keefer was working on in Herman Wouk’s “The Caine Mutiny.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/92 "2007-02-17T16:47:45Z")
[QUOTE=astorian] How about… **Blood on the Badge,** the book Harris was always working on in the TV sitcom “Barney Miller.” [/QUOTE] Harris’s working title was “Precient Diary.” The publisher changed it to “Blood on the Badge.” Henry from “Bosom Buddies” was working on a book about a guy in drag liviing in a women’s hotel. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/93 "2007-02-17T16:53:06Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] Harris’s working title was “Precient Diary.” The publisher changed it to “Blood on the Badge.” [/QUOTE] That’s “Precinct Diary,” not "Precient Diary, " which, I think, sounds a lot more interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/94 "2007-02-17T22:16:44Z")
Well, all the ones I could think of mentioning are already in here, so here’s my contribution: [QUOTE=Scribble] _Quiddich Through the Ages_, from the Harry Potter series. [/QUOTE] Available at your nearest bookstore [http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/biblio?inkey=66-9780747554714-1](http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/biblio?inkey=66-9780747554714-1) ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/95 "2007-02-17T22:42:07Z")
There were all those pretentious Latin-y sounding reference books that Rupert Giles and Wesley Wyndam-Pryce used but my favorite is _The Slayer’s Handbook_. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/96 "2007-02-17T23:14:29Z")
**The Fairy Godfather’s Handy Pocket Guide.** Cushlamochree! 😉 **The Collected Poems of Millicent Willoughby**. From Jack Sharkey’s **The Addams Family** TV tie-in book. Wednesday and Pugsley are forced to read from it in school, because it’s the teacher’s favorite poet, and get revenge by showing what the poems really mean. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2007, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/97 "2007-02-18T09:18:52Z")
[QUOTE=MonkeyMensch] St. John Lord Merridew of course. It’s one of my all time fave films and I was tickled to see that jump out at me. [/QUOTE] Correct. (Or close enough, at least. I don’t remember the film well enough to know if the St. John Lord Merridew books were published under his name or Andrew Wyke’s.) The answer took more than a day; around here that damn near qualifies as a stumper. And [this](http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0857265/) may be of some interest to you. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2007, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/98 "2007-02-18T12:30:20Z")
Another Pratchett volume is Humptemper’s 2000-page manual _How To Kille Insectes_. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2007, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/99 "2007-02-19T13:23:41Z")
it was reveiled in the last episode that the sitcom “Roseanne” was a fictionalized book that Roseanne wrote about her family. ---
**Author:** ![Promethea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Promethea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Promethea)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2007, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061/100 "2007-02-19T21:10:12Z")
Lord Emsworth is a fan of the soothing nature of _The Care Of The Pig_ by Augustus Whiffle. Mentioned in many of PG Wodehouse’s Blandings novels. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fakin-again-fake-books-list-or-guess-em/392061.md?page=6)