# Faking your own death to get back at your girlfriend **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 2, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/faking-your-own-death-to-get-back-at-your-girlfriend/199212 "2003-09-02T21:32:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/faking-your-own-death-to-get-back-at-your-girlfriend/199212/61 "2003-09-03T15:32:04Z")
I’m thinking this guy’s family HATED this girl way before the break-up. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/faking-your-own-death-to-get-back-at-your-girlfriend/199212/62 "2003-09-03T15:54:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yosemitebabe \* > \*\*Amazing. Just amazing. > > kambuckta, to give Lord Ashtar the benefit of the doubt, I think I know what he was trying to say. > > I _think_ that he was saying that it would _almost_ kind of, sort of make sense to do something that twisted and evil if the relationship had been a long one and the break-up had been particularly traumatic. (But it would _definitely_ be twisted and evil.) We are more accustomed to hearing bizarre stunts like this being pulled by people after a long-term relationship has falled apart in an ugly way. > > But this was just after a _month_ of dating. No particular emotional break-up either. And the Dickhead got his _mom_ involved. > > That’s just _so_ bizarre. \*\* You’re right. I mean that it might be possible to do something like this if she was just the most evil bitch in the universe in her break up with me. Maybe. Incidentally, I also read the OP as they had only been going out for a month. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/faking-your-own-death-to-get-back-at-your-girlfriend/199212/63 "2003-09-04T01:54:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skerri \* > \*\*My ex-boyfriend played a similar trick on me. He didn’t go as far as having a wake for himself, but I’m thinking right now he wishes he really WAS dead. > > He moved to a city 100 miles from where I and most of his friends were living. He then got one of his ‘new’ friends to call back home to tell us he was dead. Apparently he was “shot in the face” during a bad drug deal. He did this to get certain people off his back, and to see how I would react. I reacted appropriately at the time, as I went into the bar and bought a round for my friends. (This was the same guy that beat the crap out of me the night before I left him.) We toasted to “dead motherfuckers!” and I went home. At some point, it started affecting me, because I didn’t sleep through the night once in six months. > > I had nightmares every night that he was coming into my bedroom and talking to me. I thought I was going insane. I was ready to seek the treatment of a psychiatrist when I found out it was all a big joke and he did it to see what I would say. None of our mutual friends know about the no-sleep thing, so he got no satisfaction out of it. > > When we all found out that it was a big lie, most of my friends decided that if he showed his face anywhere, it would be trouble. And I started sleeping regularly, knowing that there’s some guy out there probably beating the crap out of his new girlfriend. I wonder how I’ll feel when he really dies. \*\* **Skerri** , that reminds me quite a lot of the latest Ruth Rendell. Spoiler: [spoiler]This guy is a scam artist of the highest order. He sends identical letters to his ex-girlfriend and his ex-wife, supposedly from a railway company, telling them that he died in a crash. Now, the railway crash did happen, but he wasn’t on the train. The ex-wife doesn’t believe this for a second (when someone dies, it’s the cops who contact the next of kin, in person or by phone, and and an ex-wife isn’t necessarily next of kin anyway), but she takes it as his way of saying that she’ll never hear from him again. Then, when she gets engaged to someone else, he turns up, saying, “What are you doing? I want custody of the kids!” Helloooooo…you’re the one who came up with the death scam! Meanwhile, the painfully naive ex-GF does believe this, and shortly afterwards starts seeing his “ghost” everywhere. She was already close to the edge, and this is what pushes her over.[/spoiler] Sorry that happened to you! ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/faking-your-own-death-to-get-back-at-your-girlfriend/199212/64 "2003-09-04T06:34:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ArtyDooDoo \* > \*\*My parents neighbours are Dick and Shirley too. Do your inlaws go to Florida for the winter? \*\* Nope. Hard to believe that there are that many Dick and Shirley couples around, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/faking-your-own-death-to-get-back-at-your-girlfriend/199212/65 "2003-09-04T20:22:32Z")
I had something happen to me that kinda goes along the lines of **Skerri** ’s story… I was barely 17 when I dated “C.”, a 22 year-old guy whom I knew (intellectually) was screwed up. He was (supposedly) a Marine on reserve duty who was an EMT. We were together for nine months. He told fantastical stories, always casting himself as the hero (helping women in labor on buses, etc.). While I didn’t swallow them intellectually, I went along 'cause I thought I was in _love_. Lost my virginity with him, even. It wasn’t all harmless stories, though - he was really troubled, in some way or another: His friend “Y” called me twice or three times to tell me C.'d had a fight with his friend/mom/etc.; he’d left the apartment upset, taking his pocketknife. Implication; he might off himself - a thought that horrified me. I stayed awake & _prayed_ (I was agnostic then) 'til he came home & told me he was okay. I wonder, for reasons that’ll become clear, whether these calls were hoaxes. I didn’t extract myself from the relationship 'til I realized he’d stolen some cash from me. The break-up ocurred via phone as I wanted to get it done ASAP. When I said that even if he hadn’t stolen the money, we should break up 'cause our relationship would never recover, he said that he was going to “go on active duty”, and goodbye. It hurt like hell, but it was over. After a week’s worth of “I love you” messages on my machine & another week of silence, I got a call from Y.: The plane transporting C. & his fellow Marines to an unnamed (but very dangerous) locale had “gone off the radar”. They didn’t know what happened to it. I didn’t buy that & didn’t care even if it were true, but that didn’t sink in. He called me a day later to say that it had been found. Again, no rise gotten out of me. I forget how much time went by before I got another call… Maybe a month, maybe two. In any case, a man claiming to be C.'s brother called, wanting to read me a letter from C. - telling me how much he loved me & that he hoped he died because it was better than living without me, etc. Why I listened, I dunno; I didn’t believe it. The man, whomever he was, said that C. wanted me to receive the flag that’s given to a serviceman’s/servicewoman’s family upon his or her death: I told him that I didn’t want it, that it should go to his mother, goodbye, don’t call again. Things were quiet for some months, but then Y. called to inform me that C. had been shot while on duty in this dangerous & unnamed place; he might end up a paraplegic. Nice touch, considering that _I’m_ a paraplegic. I made some threat about calling the cops if the calls continued, so they stopped. I didn’t see C. until I was…19 or 20. I was shopping with a college friend who’d heard the story but had never seen a photo. He shushed my friend, snuck up behind me & covered my eyes… Have you ever felt like your stomach free-fall to the ground? That’s what seeing him felt like. I tried not to shake, but I was shocked & frightened. The friend with whom I was shopping knew, without even a questioning glance, who the man was. He was cheery; he acted like nothing had ever happened. I was coldly polite but made no effort to chat, so he left after a minute. My friend said he looked pissed. And yes, he’d been miraculously cured of his paraplegia, as he seemed to me to be walking just fine. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/faking-your-own-death-to-get-back-at-your-girlfriend/199212/66 "2003-09-05T06:31:50Z")
I have a girlfriend for Dick. Years ago (like fifteen), I did a lot of theatre. A bunch of us did a show together. A year or so later, we hear that “Kay” died. It was through the grapevine, so we’d missed the ceremonies, but we all got together and had our own little rememberance of Kay. It was really touching because Kay was this sweet young fucked up theatre chick who died when a drunk driver hit her. Turns out she wasn’t dead. Her mother had been in on it as well, which is what made the whole thing much more convincing. Kay had been dating “Steve,” he dumped her and she needed to make him regret it . So her mother had called Steve and said “Kay died.” And Steve told the rest of us. And we found out it was all an act six months later when Kay showed up at an audition and someone saw her. ---
**Author:** ![Keith\_Berry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@Keith\_Berry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keith_Berry)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/faking-your-own-death-to-get-back-at-your-girlfriend/199212/67 "2003-09-05T17:03:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 5U1C1D3 \* > \*\*He probably lied till he was blue in the face to his family. Made up stories about how evil Shirly was as a person, and probably got them to do this to her by adding all sort of colorful stuff that she supposedly commented about the family. > > Truely sickening. \*\* I’m hoping this is the case. It would be pretty appalling if his family went along with it just for the fun of it. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/faking-your-own-death-to-get-back-at-your-girlfriend/199212/68 "2003-09-05T21:29:16Z")
I still say that if he was a “teenager”, it might have been Mom’s idea, not his. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/faking-your-own-death-to-get-back-at-your-girlfriend/199212/69 "2003-09-06T03:02:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dragonblink \* > \*\*I can’t decide whether this is an awesome band name or the newest Ronco informercial product. \*\* An awesomer band name would be the Immolated Dildos. Or perhaps, Beautiful Dildo Newfoundland (yes, it is a real town). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/faking-your-own-death-to-get-back-at-your-girlfriend/199212.md?page=3)