# Falling in love with my Best-friend. Now what? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 18, 2012, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104 "2012-10-18T08:19:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wallstreetjd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@Wallstreetjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallstreetjd)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/21 "2012-10-18T09:54:57Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > (This quote was a reply in the other thread; copied here to try to keep the conversation in one place.) > > Here’s the thing though…once we sleep with them, then we know. At least, I did, four years ago, with a different man. I thought he was undatable (as I shared in that other thread) and then I decided I was being a twit and I gave him a chance. We went out on a date and when he kissed me…fireworks. Amazing feelings of rightness. When we made love, it was even better. As we spent the next three days together, and then three out of the next four weeks together every minute, I knew. He was right for me. I am right for him. It’s nearly four years later now, and it still feels like that every time we kiss. > > I don’t know anyone, ever, who has had a friend and then slept with them, more than once, and then still needed time for it to grow into infatuation/love. I won’t say it’s absolutely impossible, but it’s very, very unlikely, at least in anything resembling the short term. Years and years from now, maybe, because by then you’ll effectively be different people. But she’s got a lot of healing to do first, and she can’t do that if you’re encouraging her broken-ness by continuing to sleep with her. I think that a true meaningful relationship means more than me sleeping with her now. I think that you are right. I will take some time and then get back to being her friend. Being there for her like I always have been , without having sex with her. I truely believe that there is something there . I know that she is going through a lot right now with child custody issues, getting money from her loser ex and then she is being with this other guy who she has a history with , who is married. Yea I know. A whole list of issues and the question, why would I want that ? I fell in love with her. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/22 "2012-10-18T09:57:19Z")
_hugs_ You know what it sounds like she really needs right now? A friend. 🙂 You’re a good man. Just remember to think with the big head, not the little one. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Wallstreetjd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@Wallstreetjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallstreetjd)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/23 "2012-10-18T10:02:34Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > _hugs_ > > You know what it sounds like she really needs right now? > > A friend. > > 🙂 > > You’re a good man. Just remember to think with the big head, not the little one. 😉 I need a hug as well. I just need some time to clear this head of mine. Not the little head either.. LOL … I just want to be there for her like she needs. But if i dont take a little time away, Im just going to want to sleep with her and tell her that I love her and she doesnt want that .,.,. So I dont want to get hurt all over again. Im hoping that me taking this time, she will miss me a bit and realize that I am pulling away. She told me the other night that what her and I have is very unique. I told her that it wasnt unique enough for her to want to be with me though. I was hurt and now i think of it , probably could have said something a lot different. But what is done is done and i thank you again for your advice, ---
**Author:** ![prettydorky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f04885/32.png) [@prettydorky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prettydorky)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/24 "2012-10-18T10:04:21Z")
nm, stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Wallstreetjd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@Wallstreetjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallstreetjd)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/25 "2012-10-18T10:15:54Z")
[quote=“WhyNot, post:22, topic:638104”] _hugs_ You know what it sounds like she really needs right now? A friend. 🙂 You’re a good man. Just remember to think with the big head, not the little one. ;)[/QUOTE I think I’m going to try and not be as available either.,I hate all the games but I need to do something. I really miss her so much… I just need to go to bed and sleep this off ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/26 "2012-10-18T10:30:49Z")
> [@Wallstreetjd](#): > > Sorry. Next time I will be sure to submit an appropriate paper. Would you like an outline as well? All I asked for was a bit of advice. Not a graded paper. Thanks anyway. Like I needed any more grief this evening. Welcome to the Straight Dope. Yes, you are being graded. No, there is no curve. One day you will forget this girl, but the shame of using an ellipse as a period is now preserved for posterity. Be ever vigilant against the forces of bad grammar. The best writers get the coolest chicks. Enjoy your stay. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/27 "2012-10-18T10:33:21Z")
> [@Wallstreetjd](#): > > Sorry. Next time I will be sure to submit an appropriate paper. Would you like an outline as well? All I asked for was a bit of advice. Not a graded paper. Thanks anyway. Like I needed any more grief this evening. I came into this thread hoping to help, as I’ve been in a situation that resembles your thread title, but I’m not wading through that wall of text. Sorry. I’m not just being snarky - there are people who want to help you, and you’re making it harder. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/28 "2012-10-18T11:30:58Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > [Relevant xkcd cartoon.](http://xkcd.com/513/) This right here. Dude, you’re her fall-back, and you deserve better. You deserve someone who really loves you, and if she doesn’t love you by now, it’s nearly impossible that she ever will. Quit holding onto this slim hope and go live your life. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/29 "2012-10-18T11:48:21Z")
> [@Wallstreetjd](#): > > Sorry. Next time I will be sure to submit an appropriate paper. Would you like an outline as well? All I asked for was a bit of advice. Not a graded paper. Thanks anyway. Like I needed any more grief this evening. It’s not that it’s a graded paper. It’s that the wall of text is really, really, REALLY difficult to read. Seriously, go back and try to closely _read_ your OP. Now think about how it would be if you didn’t already know what it said. :eek: The bigger pain in the balls it is to give you what you want, the less likely you are to get it, so you’re really only hurting yourself by making your posts unreadable messes. And in all fairness, _you_ came to _us_ wanting something. The onus isn’t exactly on us to make things easier for you, ya know? From what I can tell from skimming (because keeping track of where I am in the block is too hard for me to really read the thing), you should run far far far far FAR away from this woman. She’s jerking you around, giving you just enough that you keep hanging around hoping for more even though she is unwilling, maybe incapable of giving you more. I don’t know if it’s deliberate or not, but she is. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/30 "2012-10-18T12:01:02Z")
Besides the xkcd comic, there’s also this one from [something positive](http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp02142004.shtml). Your case probably falls somewhere between the two, but basically - if she really, really wanted to be with you? She already would be. She’d chuck her current guy in a hot minute if she actually loved you. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/31 "2012-10-18T12:23:48Z")
I’m going to try to be nice, really I am. But I feel like a bitch this am, so don’t get offended ok? The reason she can sleep with you and have no feelings is because she is a piece of shit. Not that everybody who sleeps with people they have no feelings for is a piece of shit, SHE is a piece of shit. She’s living with one man, with whom she has children? She’s a cheat. She’s dating a married man. She has no decency. She’s using you. She’s a piece of shit. She is not worth the time it took you to type that post. Where are her daughters while she is doing all this fucking around? What kind of example is she setting for them? She is a fucked in the head drama queen and you got sucked into her drama. You cannot help her, you cannot save her, you cannot fix her. If she had any kind of decency, as soon as she knew you were falling in love with her and she knew she didn’t feel the same way \*SHE \*should have ended the friendship. That is what a decent person does. They don’t lead people on, they don’t use people, they don’t take advantage of another person’s feelings. There is NO ‘being friends’ with this woman. You can’t be friends when one person in the friendship wants it to be something more. The bigger question here is Why in the hell to you want to be with a proven liar, cheat, and user? Do you think she will magically change and not cheat on you? Do you really believe you can have any kind of decent relationship with this woman? You have seen what she really is and the picture isn’t pretty. You need to see her for what she really is and not what you want her to be. Leave that crazy bitch alone. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/32 "2012-10-18T13:37:28Z")
Welcome to the SDMB, **Wallstreetjd**. We ask that you not post the same material in more than one thread. I’ve moved the stuff you’d put in the other thread here, so there may be some repetition and a little confusion as to who said what to whom. I’m also moving the thread to our advice-giving forum, IMHO. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/33 "2012-10-18T13:50:12Z")
Everything you need to know about this situation is described in the 1994 hit [Self-Esteem](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeWjzBHUdsI) by the OffSpring _I know I should stick up for myself, but I really think it’s better this way the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care … right?_ ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/34 "2012-10-18T14:04:01Z")
I’m going to be a bit harsh here and say that I don’t think you two were ever actually friends. What I get from your story is that, whether consciously or not, you were always attracted, and you found a way to hang around and wait for an opportunity. Hence you can’t “go back to” being friends with her. All that will do is leave you seething with false hope and suppressed jealousy, waiting angrily for things to change. This isn’t healthy for you. Dump this relationship and move on. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/35 "2012-10-18T14:45:00Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > I came into this thread hoping to help, as I’ve been in a situation that resembles your thread title, but I’m not wading through that wall of text. > > Sorry. I’m not just being snarky - there are people who want to help you, and you’re making it harder. Yeah, I have to believe that OP can be seen from space. Good luck with your troubles, **Wallstreetjd**.\* \*whatever they are mmm ---
**Author:** ![GreenElf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/36 "2012-10-18T14:46:23Z")
> [@Wallstreetjd](#): > > \*\*\*\*I really need some advice or maybe a similar story or just an ear. I met this girl over a year ago in college. We had the same math class together and we began studying together. Months gone by and we became really good friends. Never more than that and we both said that we were not looking for anything. She was living with her ex boyfriend of 12 yrs and had to daughters with the same guy. She was not happy with him and said that they lived together but not sleeping in same bed and that she was seeing this other guy that she had went to high school with at the time. The thing is , that guy was married. We had talked about it before and I told her that he would never leave his wife for her. She continued on with him. It never bothered me because I had no interest in her like that . I knew so much of her and how she treated guys and she told me that she would be trouble if we ever hooked up. One night she called me and was all upset and said that she needed a place to stay because she didnt want to go home. I told her to come over and she said that she didnt want me to ask questions and that she just needed me to be there for her and wanted me to hold her until she fell asleep. That is what i did. There was a few other times like that where she called on me and I was always there for her like a good friend would be. I even needed her a couple times and she allowed me to stay at her house. Never crossing that line. Well one time , it happened and we were intimate. I thought for sure that would end things but it didnt. We stayed good friends and in fact it happened a couple more times. Then it happened . I began to grow feelings for my best friend. It was eating away at me. I had to tell her. I didnt know how to. I kept hinting at the fact that i had fallen in love with her but she just wasnt getting it or just wasnt leading on that she knew. Finally one day, she asked me why i was being short with her and why i was avoiding her. I told her that i was in love with her. We had this long discussion and she told me that she didnt feel the same for me . That really killed me . She said that she didnt want our friendship to change and that she understands how i feel etc. It has been tough ever since. For this past month it has been nothing but upsets for me . I thought that i could handle things and remain the same . A few weeks ago, I was over her house and we started kissing and she stopped me and told me that she did not want to confuse me . I told her that it was fine. So we slept together. That next morning, I was so confused and we talked. She just said that she wasnt ready for a relationship and that she wants me to be happy and not wait for her because she isnt right in the head . Well just two nights ago , I was over her house and again it happened. I began kissing her on the couch and she stopped me and asked , what we were doing ? she continued to say that we are friends and that we shouldnt do this anymore etc. I asked her why she had this wall up and why she didnt feel for me. She told me that she was still seeing that married guy and that her heart belongs with him. My heart dropped to the ground. She seen how sad i was , hearing that and even asked me if that made me sad. She said the way i felt for her is the way she feels for that guy. I could not believe it. I told her that I wanted to go home . I started to go and she grabbed my arm and didnt want me to go home. She said that she wanted to sleep with me. We went to the bedroom and started to become intimate but all i could think of was what she just had told me. It really hurt me . It was a good night intimate wise but the drive home was a long one. I got home at 4 am and did not sleep the whole morning. I waited till 10 am and i called her. I had to know what it was that i did or didnt have for her that she wanted from that married guy. here i was. Never married, no kids , going to school , her daughters get along with me etc… She tells me again that she isnt ready for a relationship. I told her that I didnt want that right now . That what i wanted was just a little bit of hope that there was a possibility that it might happen later. She just said that she was sorry . That she was interested in this guy. Then I asked her, are you not attracted to me ? She told me NO… I just dont understand that . How is it that she would be intimate with me if there was no attraction? I personally could not be intimate with a girl that I have no attraction for.. I mean maybe once but not 3 or 4 times. I am not understanding this. She says that I am not her “type”. I asked her, what her type was. She is 35 and her ex is 47 yrs old. She said that she ends up with these big white guys with blue eyes.. Her ex was this big burly , hairy guy with blue eyes. I am sure he was a nice guy but he wasnt what i thought was her type. She tells me that i am cute but she isnt attracted to me. Is that a nice way to say that i am ugly or somethng??? It really confuses me that she would be intimate with me and we are very passionate but yet she says im not her type. Is it because she doesnt want a relationship with me but enjoys being intimate with me. Or maybe she isnt too sure that this MARRIED guy will ever leave his wife so she wants to keep me on a short leash , tell me that im not her type so that i dont become attached to her. I dont know . I just know that i told her that I need to not see her for a while and she didnt like that . She asked me if i still wanted to be her friend and I told her that I didnt want that to change and that I told her in the past that I would be her friend forever and i didnt want this to change things. I just need time right now and then maybe we can become friends again. But I find myself missing her so much these past couple days and want to pick up phone and call her but I know its best to let things cool off a bit. I just dont know what to do afterwards. Do I continue to become intimate or just leave that off as well. I love her so much and it hurts that she says that she just sees me as her best friend and nothing more. Any suggestions please. I am so lost here . Please, maybe some advice from girls please. Maybe to what she is possibly thinking and is there a chance that she misses me or will miss me enough to change things? she had told me that she was going to give me time but that she would text me everyday to bug me so that I dont let her go. I know that they say let them go and if they come back , its meant to be. But the prob is that if she comes back, how am I supposed to if its because she misses me as a friend or that she wants to grow on what I had told her. Is it possible that just because she says im not her type , that she could possibly fall for me sometime … I know that with this other guy around, she prob isnt even thinking of me like that . Can she be intimate with me and not have feelings at all??? Please help > :smack: This is a very difficult situation, and I’d like to share some suggestions with you as well as some advice and personal experience. I’ve been lost like that too, thinking “do I like the girl???” Of course, I like the girl, she’s a nice girl. She was a fine girl who I really liked prob ever since we first met, and so I was in a similar situation to you as well, because you like that girl a whole lot, just as I am, or was, in love with this girl. She was leading me on with her ways, let me tell you. That girl had a boyfriend and they were about the same age, but not the same age as you by a long shot, or maybe they were, see I’m not sure what age you are, so maybe this wouldn’t apply quite to your situation, but it did apply to my situation, as I was living in it at the time. So you see, we have a lot in common with that particular situation, and I’m just letting you know what I went through so it may be of some help to you also??? It’s been quite awhile since then, and I can tell you I’m happy it’s over, and just wish the best for you. She was never married, and liked to be friends, but I was wondering, could we be more than friends? But, however, she wanted to just be friends, or friends first maybe, see maybe we could have been more than friends if the timing was right, or I said something better, you see what I’m getting at here? It’s like in your situation, you say she’s age 35, that’s a very important time in anyone’s life, and she has daughters to take care of. The girl I was talking of has no daughters, but that’s besides the point, your girl, or “woman of interest” has daughters and a significant other. This complicates the situation, you see, you need to tread lightly here, at this time in your life, just as your woman is at an important stage in her life. I know this from my own past experience, and think it will help some with yours. Just hang in there, tough. This is a rocky relationship, but surely some of the rockiest ones have been the best. You may just want to cut it off at this juncture though, because she’s expressed some reservations about the relationship. I think you mentioned she said she wasn’t attracted to you. This girl I mentioned, she said something similar to me. I know you probably think that you could become the man she wants, but sometimes it’s best to let things sail, if you know what I mean. It’s just a suggestion. So she likes big, burly hairy guys. Well, if you’re not that big, burly hairy guy, maybe it’s time to move on, sailor. I know you’ve mentioned you have feelings for her, but if you could meet someone else, strike up a new relationship, it could be just what the doctor ordered. My experience was similar, and that woman wasn’t interested, so I parted ways, and maybe it’s time, time for you to spread your wings and fly away from this relationship. Don’t be just friends, and let your love for this woman become a silent wound in your soul. You can find others, others with more love to offer. Attraction is a very interesting and funny thing. Who knows where the arrow of love strikes next? One’s best plans can be changed by love. Were these not thoughts of the ancients, or similar? It’s a timeless challenge, you weren’t the first to be faced with this conundrum, and won’t be the last. I know I wasn’t the first, or the last for that matter, which has lended me some perspective. It’s like that old song “Do You Know The Way To San Jose?” except most people are asking for directions to San Francisco. It’s just a matter of where you want to go. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/37 "2012-10-18T15:00:34Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > She’s living with one man, with whom she has children? She’s a cheat. She’s dating a married man. She has no decency. She’s using you. She’s a piece of shit. > The bigger question here is > Why in the hell to you want to be with a proven liar, cheat, and user? Do you think she will magically change and not cheat on you? Do you really believe you can have any kind of decent relationship with this woman? > Leave that crazy bitch alone. Sums up what I was going to say. You want this screwed up mess in your life because … ?? ---
**Author:** ![Nazarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nazarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nazarene)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/38 "2012-10-18T15:21:12Z")
When women say stuff like, “I would be trouble if we ever hooked up,” that’s a nice way of saying, “I’m not attracted to you.” She told you she’s not interested. No one is going to be able to tell you any magic words to make her fall in love with you. She sounds like a terrible person anyway, or at least extremely disordered. You didn’t say it, but I sense alcoholism might be involved. In any case, there’s no fairy tale ending at the end of this story. The best thing you can do for yourself is just accept that she doesn’t like you that way and move on. You’re not the only guy to ever fall into this “best friend” trap, and I know it can feel emasculating and painful, but the only way to really salvage any manhood is to disengage yourself and move on. Work on _yourself_. Make _yourself_ a more worthwhile person, don’t waste your life mooning around after some trainwreck of a woman. You also need to be careful what you wish for. Who ever ends up with this chick is not hitting a jackpot, believe me. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/39 "2012-10-18T15:49:19Z")
When you get the urge to see this woman again, punch yourself in the dick instead. It’ll hurt less. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104/40 "2012-10-18T16:01:29Z")
I’m pretty much with sahirnnee here. I’d think a woman in her thirties and two kids would have her crap together better than this. Where are the poor kids in all this?? They should be her first priority. She’s using you. She’ll dump you the second the married guy gets divorced. Or worse, his wife finds out, she’ll get dumped and she’ll come running to you. Yet again. You’re handy to have around while she waits for something “better”. I can’t stand women like this. You’re a good, caring guy (if kind of dumb) and there are women who’d appreciate you. Cut off this user and find one of them. Good luck and I’m sorry this skank is doing this to you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falling-in-love-with-my-best-friend-now-what/638104.md?page=3)