I bought a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice cream and do you know what? There wasn’t even one piece of monkey in it! Suffice to say I was outraged. I bet this is Bill Cosby’s doing. I now devote the rest of my life to making him pay. I will write long meandering letters to him that suggest importance but never come to any real point. I will insult his clothes and undermine his dog’s confidence. I will draw a mustache on any picture of him I find. And if the picture features him already wearing a mustache then I will erase the mustache. Justice will be mine.
Ah, yes…I remember my first beer… 
How do you think I felt when I first tried Cherry Garcia?
…and I thought Phish Food was memorable…!
Insert your own Chubby Hubby joke here.