# Falwell and The Spirit of Xmas **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 24, 2005, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515 "2005-11-24T00:25:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/1 "2005-11-24T00:25:29Z")
Noted sack of sanctimonious bile Jerry Falwell has declared that this season will be the time for making enemies lists. His unholy alliance with the[Friend or Foe Campaign](http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/11/20/MERRY.TMP) will target anyone who doesn’t believe in the Christian version of god or in setting up endless tacky plastic manger scenes or in singing endless tacky carols, and who has the temerity to speak up and say so. In addition to proclaiming them “foes”, the sorry pile of jesus pus is standing behind the group’s effort to file suit against said “foes”. Well, fuck you, Mr. Falwell, and everything you believe in and stand for, and the 24,000 assholes who follow you. And fuck the Liberty Counsel, whatever satan-spawned nest of rat-blood sucking slime that is, and fuck the Christian Educators’ Association for spying on their neighbors in the time of brotherly love. I’m your enemy, cocksuckers, so come and get some. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/2 "2005-11-24T00:32:58Z")
He’d better watch out. Suing people who don’t agree with their religion is horning in on the Scientologists’ action. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/3 "2005-11-24T00:33:00Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Noted sack of sanctimonious bile Jerry Falwell has declared that this season will be the time for making enemies lists. His unholy alliance with the[Friend or Foe Campaign](http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/11/20/MERRY.TMP) will target anyone who doesn’t believe in the Christian version of god or in setting up endless tacky plastic manger scenes or in singing endless tacky carols, and who has the temerity to speak up and say so. In addition to proclaiming them “foes”, the sorry pile of jesus pus is standing behind the group’s effort to file suit against said “foes”. > > Well, fuck you, Mr. Falwell, and everything you believe in and stand for, and the 24,000 assholes who follow you. And fuck the Liberty Counsel, whatever satan-spawned nest of rat-blood sucking slime that is, and fuck the Christian Educators’ Association for spying on their neighbors in the time of brotherly love. I’m your enemy, cocksuckers, so come and get some. Good rant. It captures my feelings very well. Maybe I should send the self righteous pus bag a happy HOLIDAYS card. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_The\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba8739/32.png) [@Bill\_The\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_The_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/4 "2005-11-24T01:02:32Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Maybe I should send the self righteous pus bag a happy HOLIDAYS card. Fuck that, I’m ready to send him a “You Embarrass Jesus” card with a big “SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY” on the inside. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/5 "2005-11-24T01:09:12Z")
> [@Bill The Cat](#): > > Fuck that, I’m ready to send him a “You Embarrass Jesus” card with a big “SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY” on the inside. I would send him a Cthulhu card that said: “Thinking of you!” 😛 (I wish we had a smilie with tentacles) ---
**Author:** ![ImaginalDisc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a88e57/32.png) [@ImaginalDisc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ImaginalDisc)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/6 "2005-11-24T01:23:13Z")
Suddenly, I feel the urge to send them “Happy Birthday, Mithras!” cards on the solstice and “Happy Birthday, Jesus! Isn’t it nice to be a spring chicken!” this April. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/7 "2005-11-24T01:31:43Z")
He’s making a list, checking twice – he’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice… Oh wait, that’s that other fat bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/8 "2005-11-24T01:35:43Z")
Oh god, I have visions of Falwell bitching out a synagogue for not having a Nativity display. I certainly wouldn’t put it past some of these morons. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/9 "2005-11-24T01:45:10Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#): > > I would send him a Cthulhu card that said: > > “Thinking of you!” 😛 > > (I wish we had a smilie with tentacles) Hey, with a squint and a bit of imagination… ;j ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/10 "2005-11-24T01:45:18Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > His unholy alliance with the[Friend or Foe Campaign](http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/11/20/MERRY.TMP) will target anyone who doesn’t believe in the Christian version of god Apparently, he who _is_ with Me is still a douchebag. [quote] sorry pile of jesus pus [quote] Can’t spell “pious” without “pus,” I guess. > [@](#): > > I’m your enemy, cocksuckers, so come and get some. That goes double for me, although I’d rather they not suck my cock. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/11 "2005-11-24T02:13:44Z")
Here’s the part I like best : > [@](#): > > "It’s a sad day in America when you have to retain an attorney to say ‘Merry Christmas,’ " said Mike Johnson, an Alliance Defense Fund attorney in Louisiana who will push the Christmas cause. > > Organizers of the Christmas campaigns say many Christians feel aggrieved by the secularization of the season. They say teachers feel too intimidated to allow students to sing “Silent Night” in school, and they believe cities have every right to place a nativity scene in a public park. > > \< snip \> > > The issue is a dilemma for the Anti-Defamation League, too. It commissioned a poll last month of 800 adults, 57 percent of whom said Christianity was under attack. Among evangelicals, the figure was 76 percent. > > “There’s a lot of fear out there,” said Finn Laursen, a retired school administrator who is now executive director of the Christian Educators Association International. Somehow, despite being in the majority and controlling the government, it’s the _Christians_ who are terrified and oppressed. Unless everything is done the way _they_ command, they are victims. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/12 "2005-11-24T02:17:19Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#): > > Somehow, despite being in the majority and controlling the government, it’s the _Christians_ who are terrified and oppressed. Unless everything is done the way _they_ command, they are victims. That’s just how paranoid these people are. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/13 "2005-11-24T02:19:25Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > That’s just how paranoid these people are. I know. That doesn’t make me any less tired of this garbage. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/14 "2005-11-24T02:19:34Z")
Since when is making an enemies list and drawing a line in the sand contrary to the spirit of Xmas? Some of you have closed your hearts to that old-time religion. Anyone who doubts the agenda of the Jesus-Minimizers and SFGate Sin-Scoffers need only check out the Google ads on that site. When I visited, they were hawking Melissa Etheridge’s God Without Religion claptrap and anti-Bush paraphernalia. It’s all one with promoting vaccination, sexual ambiguity and the mongrelization of our beloved dog breeds.\* Oh ye fools. \*Labradoodles. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/15 "2005-11-24T02:46:10Z")
Your country sucks. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/16 "2005-11-24T02:48:34Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > That’s just how paranoid these people are. How about we send him a “Smile! Satan loves you!” statuette? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/17 "2005-11-24T02:55:19Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > How about we send him a “Smile! Satan loves you!” statuette? 😃 How about a card saying “Thank you for promoting the virtues of atheism” ? ---
**Author:** ![Frostillicus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Frostillicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frostillicus)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/18 "2005-11-24T03:15:32Z")
Maybe he needs to embrace Festivus, just like the rest of us! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/19 "2005-11-24T03:18:19Z")
How 'bout a Jackhammer Jesus? No link. Google it **outside of work** if you must know. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/20 "2005-11-24T03:21:37Z")
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