# Falwell and The Spirit of Xmas **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 24, 2005, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515 "2005-11-24T00:25:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/41 "2005-11-24T20:46:01Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > He’d better watch out. Suing people who don’t agree with their religion is horning in on the Scientologists’ action. _He’d better watch out, He’d better not spy, He’d better not sue, I’m telling you why: Xenu’s Clams are coming to town._ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/42 "2005-11-24T21:46:49Z")
I’m thinking that Grover would make a good Virgin Mary, since he’s blue and all. If I nail a stuffed bunny to a cross, can I call it an Easter desecration? (Courtesy of the Skippy List) ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/43 "2005-11-24T22:13:42Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > _He’d better watch out, > He’d better not spy, > He’d better not sue, > I’m telling you why: > Xenu’s Clams are coming to town._ I read this poem, and my jaw started to ache, weird. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/44 "2005-11-24T22:16:05Z")
> [@crowmanyclouds](#): > > I read this poem, and my jaw started to ache, weird. Must be your body thetans acting up. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/45 "2005-11-24T22:36:11Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Must be your body thetans acting up. Have you got $240? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/46 "2005-11-24T23:10:40Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Noted sack of sanctimonious bile Jerry Falwell has declared that this season will be the time for making enemies lists. His unholy alliance with the[Friend or Foe Campaign](http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/11/20/MERRY.TMP) will target anyone who doesn’t believe in the Christian version of god or in setting up endless tacky plastic manger scenes or in singing endless tacky carols, and who has the temerity to speak up and say so. Maybe he finally discovered the verse in the Bible where Jesus says to “love your enemies,” and he’s just trying to figure out who they are so he knows who to love. > [@](#): > > In addition to proclaiming them “foes”, the sorry pile of jesus pus is standing behind the group’s effort to file suit against said “foes”. OK, so much for that idea. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2005, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/47 "2005-11-24T23:55:00Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > I am sorry to see it all happen to you guys, and so suddenly too. Me too. But don’t worry - we’ll have a bunch of yahoos in here telling us how it’s all our imagination… -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/48 "2005-11-25T04:58:50Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Okay, maybe your country doesn’t suck, but it sure isn’t what it used to be, it’s lost a lot of its charisma. What used to be what, though not as “great” a country as a lot of those living there claimed, was at least impressive and exciting, is now a sad shadow of its former self. > > I am sorry to see it all happen to you guys, and so suddenly too. It’s hard enough dealing with these people as it is. I’m not sure we need condescending pity from people who don’t seem to know American history… ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/49 "2005-11-25T12:13:24Z")
Fuck you, dickhead. ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/50 "2005-11-25T14:52:20Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Fuck you, dickhead. Well. I think the condecending pity is gone. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/51 "2005-11-25T17:50:51Z")
I hearby state that I will have nothing to do with that man while I’m alive, and my spirit will have nothing to do with him when I’m dead. And I’m thinking of suing **Chefguy** for libel 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/52 "2005-11-25T17:54:50Z")
What if I put the Flying Spagetti Monster in the manger? Is that kosher? ---
**Author:** ![Dob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Dob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dob)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/53 "2005-11-25T18:11:37Z")
I love the call to boycot Target. Just for that I will be spending double my normal amount at Target this year. Kudos to them for not caving in to some silly percived insult to “christians”. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/54 "2005-11-25T18:12:54Z")
> [@Malodorous](#): > > Well. I think the condecending pity is gone. Then my work here is done! 🙂 Anybody asking “where did all these religious people come from?” isn’t paying attention. Moral Majority dopes have been a loud and public plague on this country for 20 years, and that’s just _today’s_ Jerry Falwell. That said, **GuanoLad** , I think the current incarnation of these irritating fucks are going downhill and I don’t think they’ll be able to keep wrecking things much longer. It’s not like they annoy me _less_ than they annoy you. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/55 "2005-11-25T18:30:39Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > That’s just how **paranoid** these people are. (bolding mine) AFAIK paranoia is a mental disorder. Can’t we have these people committed ? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/56 "2005-11-25T18:48:02Z")
> [@detop](#): > > (bolding mine) > AFAIK paranoia is a mental disorder. Can’t we have these people committed ? No. Insanity is OK, as long as it has a religious label. If you see a 900 foot tall Jesus, you’re religious; if you see a 900 foot tall mango, you’re crazy. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_stamos_left_ear/32/3198_2.png) [@John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Stamos_Left_Ear)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/57 "2005-11-25T23:04:18Z")
> [@FordPrefect](#): > > Be sure to write “King of the Jews”, in crayon, of course. With the “S” backwards, naturally. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/58 "2005-11-25T23:37:44Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#): > > if you see a 900 foot tall mango, you’re crazy. Or really, really hungry. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/59 "2005-11-25T23:42:26Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > …and it worked, he probably wouldn’t tell Pat to fuck off and die, but rather pray, counsel, and witness so that he might embrace true Christianity, see the light, renounce his hatred of homosexuals, give his money to the poor, publicly announce that he has been nothing but a cheap, hatemongering hustler, minister to the sick and weary, and just in general become a really good guy. Probably not, though. It is pleasant to think such an event might happen. My childhood Southern Baptist preachers would refer to it a rapturous conversion. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515/60 "2005-11-26T00:28:44Z")
Some fundamentalists’ objection to the use of “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” suggests that they are unaware of the origin of the the word _holiday_: holy day. Such short-sightedness is enough to make the Baby Elmo cry. My card to Jerry Falwell would say “Peace on Earth, Goodwill Toward All Human Beings.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/falwell-and-the-spirit-of-xmas/332515.md?page=4)