# Family decides to Christmas-decorate the whole block: Community spirit or butthurt waiting to happen **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 27, 2013, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299 "2013-12-27T18:03:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/21 "2013-12-27T23:32:13Z")
I meant to add that I’ve also seen luminaries out for Halloween, weddings and restaurants. What is _that_ supposed to signify? ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/22 "2013-12-27T23:33:34Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Truly, just plain lights are about the least offensive, or connected to anything, so-called symbol imaginable. Especially when installed on Christmas Eve in front of a house or houses with other Christmas-light decorations that really aren’t. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/23 "2013-12-27T23:36:24Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > As someone who has been on both sides of the religious debate, I can at least now sorta see where people come up with this whole “War on Christmas” thing. Truly, just plain lights are about the least offensive, or connected to anything, so-called symbol imaginable. I’d be ashamed of myself if I got upset over something so benign. Plain lights aren’t connected to anything when they are in your home. Plain lights put out on Christmas Eve in front of houses of people who do not celebrate Christmas? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/24 "2013-12-28T00:33:17Z")
I wonder if this guy knew the religious preference of every single person whose home those lights ended up in front of? And perhaps, he put them up on Christmas eve (cue ominous music! :p) to make sure absolutely no one found fault with them, just being up one night and all. Oh, and those luminaries I’ve seen up on Halloween? Are they meant to worship satan or something else dark? Because I’ve honestly seen them actually _on October 31st_!! ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/25 "2013-12-28T00:56:53Z")
> [@](#): > > I wonder if this guy knew the religious preference of every single person whose home those lights ended up in front of? And perhaps, he put them up on Christmas eve (cue ominous music! ) to make sure absolutely no one found fault with them, just being up one night and all. Welll, Tenafly is an area with A LOT of very observant Jews. It would be almost impossible for the average street _not_ to have a couple observant Jews on it. It being friday evening and all, the observant among us don’t really have the opportunity to chime in. But observant Jews don’t practice non-Jewish religious customs. period. They don’t like to allow others to make it appear like they do, either. In my experience, an Orthodox family would feel obligated to request that the candle-thingies marking a religious holiday – whether Christmas or Natalis Solis Invictus or Soltice or Yule, makes no difference – be removed from in front of their home. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/26 "2013-12-28T01:27:32Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Oh, and those luminaries I’ve seen up on Halloween? Are they meant to worship satan or something else dark? Because I’ve honestly seen them actually _on October 31st_!! You’d be fine with sticking “luminaries” on someone else’s property on Halloween without permission? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/27 "2013-12-28T01:36:21Z")
I re-read the article for the third time now, and I still haven’t seen mention of this family being Christian. Just that they wanted to do it to re-create something from when they were younger and to instill a sense of community. Of course, they could be lying, but… Since no one of the three hundred people that helped them saw a problem, nor did anyone stop them in such a huge enclave of Jewish believers, maybe no one was quite as aware of how devout these people are as they appear to you, **Hello Again**. And because lights are used on every occasion under the sun, perhaps the only people that see them as “religious symbols” are those that take offense? I mean, just because something is tied to a holiday, doesn’t make it a spiritual manifestation. I don’t think anyone would argue that Santa is. Or, in my example, that Halloween luminaries are the work of the devil. But I don’t know, maybe this is all just me. If I’d had a problem, I’d have simply walked outside and picked the damn thing up and disposed of it. Or if that wasn’t good enough, I’d have told the neighbor to do so and then requested they leave me out of app future “celebrations.” However, I wouldn’t have called the mayor and expected results before the evening was over. I don’t look for offense where there isn’t obviously any though. \< shrug \> At the height of my anti-Christianity life, I still allowed others to pray for me and wish me a Merry Christmas. There were so many more important fronts to get upset about (like trying to prevent our country from turning into a theocracy), that I didn’t want to be “one of those people” who you didn’t want on your side and seemed to get butthurt about the most innocuous of things. Instead, I’d bitch to my loved ones and leave the stuff that really mattered for rallying behind. Oh, and if this guy had even remotely put up the smallest of Christian whatevers in or around his neighbors home, I’d be completely in his corner. We don’t need our money to say “In God We Trust,” the 10 commandments don’t need to be posted anywhere on government property and no one needs to tell you your religious (or lack there of) business. But that’s where this breaks down for me. It might’ve been religious, but in just the one linked article provided, it ain’t been _proven_ to be. Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/28 "2013-12-28T01:38:54Z")
> [@Kenm](#): > > You’d be fine with sticking “luminaries” on someone else’s property on Halloween without permission? I don’t see public access, like the road in front of someone else’s house, to be that person’s property. And for a little back up here, I suppose you could search on the threads where folks take to task people complaining about who parks in front of their house. Is it rude? You betcha. Would I have done it? Not a chance. Do I think it’s a big enough of a deal to call the flipping mayor over? Bwahahahahaha! ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/29 "2013-12-28T01:41:27Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Oh, and if this guy had even remotely put up the smallest of Christian whatevers in or around his neighbors home, I’d be completely in his corner. We don’t need our money to say “In God We Trust,” the 10 commandments don’t need to be posted anywhere on government property and no one needs to tell you your religious (or lack there of) business. But that’s where this breaks down for me. It might’ve been religious, but in just the one linked article provided, it ain’t been _proven_ to be. Just saying. If you’re an observant Jew, I don’t think someone’s protestations that Christmas is areligious would be very convincing. And I really think there could be a sense that if it’s in front of your house, you’re endorsing it. Because if you aren’t endorsing it, why is it there? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/30 "2013-12-28T01:54:46Z")
I have two Jewish friends, one observant, who I’d already asked this question to (both celebrate the season, as they see it as a secular holiday) and they felt the man was being ridiculous on at least two of the issues I’d already covered. 1.) That luminaries aren’t tied to anything, and 2.) if they had had an issue with what happened, they’d have handled it about a billion other ways than getting bent out of shape on December 24th and calling the mayor. However, maybe they’re simply amusing me. And I readily admit, they are the only Jewish people I know intimately. Since my sample size is so small, I have no idea how much that should count towards data. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/31 "2013-12-28T02:00:58Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > If you’re an observant Jew, I don’t think someone’s protestations that Christmas is areligious would be very convincing. > > And I really think there could be a sense that if it’s in front of your house, you’re endorsing it. Because if you aren’t endorsing it, why is it there? Not only this, but if you don’t endorse it and you decide to remove the luminaries from your frontage so that your children don’t get excited about a holiday they aren’t being raised to celebrate, guess what everyone is going to think when they’re driving past your house? That’s the “Grinch” family! And why wouldn’t they think this? Everyone else on the block has luminaries! And they’re so pretty! So if you get the stink eye from the lady across the street, you’ll know why! It’s pressure to be like everyone else, for the sake of someone else’s sentimentality. It’s pretty mild in the grand scheme of things, but it’s still irritating to those who don’t like that kind of shit. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/32 "2013-12-28T02:17:38Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > I have two Jewish friends, one observant, who I’d already asked this question to (both celebrate the season, as they see it as a secular holiday) Given your obvious religious leanings as you have posted numerously about, and your location in the buckle of the Bible Belt, I think it’s fair to ask - Are these friends real Jews or Jews for Jesus types? ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/33 "2013-12-28T02:57:59Z")
Me doing what I want to change a public space without buy-in of everybody involved in said public space because I assume that of course everyone will appreciate it is nothing but self-centered, passive-aggressive behavior. If you piss a neighbor off with said behavior, you should turn away meekly with your tail between your legs, no matter how much you think that person is being unreasonable. You are the asshole in this scenario. **ETA:** The Jewishness of the neighbor is a red herring. His reason for not wanting the lights in the neighborhood’s public space is irrelevant. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/34 "2013-12-28T02:58:15Z")
I have no idea what you’re talking about. I have no religious leanings (since my decade on the boards, the closest I’ve come is a brief resurgence of spirituality), except that fundamentalists piss me off. As for my friends, one lives near me now in Texas( and is the one who isn’t observant), the other is up north. Neither are stealth Christians. Is that what you mean in your observations? Back to the story… if the neighbor was so beside himself that he called the mayor to intervene that very night, why didn’t he call him back to make sure the offending luminaries were gone from in front of his house? Because if I’m reading that right, the original perpetrator decided to be the ultimate dick here and leave it up there after being told to take it down. So, if it was that much of an issue to immediately cause all this strum and drang over, why do nothing and let it remain unmolested until the next day? That makes no sense. Also, the offending neighbor’s wife made me roll my eyes with her final quote. Really? Edit: That was to **Lamar**. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/35 "2013-12-28T03:17:55Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Back to the story… if the neighbor was so beside himself that he called the mayor to intervene that very night, why didn’t he call him back to make sure the offending luminaries were gone from in front of his house? Because if I’m reading that right, the original perpetrator decided to be the ultimate dick here and leave it up there after being told to take it down. So, if it was that much of an issue to immediately cause all this strum and drang over, why do nothing and let it remain unmolested until the next day? That makes no sense. > . Perhaps he didn’t make that much of a fuss in the first place, and the issue came up in a casual conversation. “Hey, speaking of first world problems, but there’s a guy on my block who has put up all these little candle thingies everywhere. I know he means well, but it really creeps me out. What should I do?” “Don’t you worry about this, pal. I’ll handle it. The guy could be a tool looking to be some warrior in the War on Christmas. I don’t want you and Barb getting sucked into this.” “Thanks, man! Please don’t tell me it was me, okay?” Or maybe he figured that the guy was a douche. Escalating matters with douchebags is never wise. Or maybe he felt bad about the whole thing. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/36 "2013-12-28T03:34:35Z")
> [@](#): > > “Our neighbors, from all different backgrounds, sent their children out to help fill the bags and light the candles early in the evening on Christmas Eve. We loved it. We thought it was a great sense of community,” said Scott Semone. Wait a minute - these are _actual_ candle lit luminaries? Not LEDs, Real, flaming, candles? Real, Flaming, UNATTENDED, candles, just littering the neighborhood? Damn right I’d be offended. I’d be ought there picking them up myself. Also, for future reference - the honest way to promote neighborliness and community is to actually _talk_ to your neighbors and get to know their beliefs and opinions. Sadly, there’s nothing honest about these War on Christmas morons. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/37 "2013-12-28T03:35:18Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > I have no idea what you’re talking about. I have no religious leanings (since my decade on the boards, the closest I’ve come is a brief resurgence of spirituality), except that fundamentalists piss me off. As for my friends, one lives near me now in Texas( and is the one who isn’t observant), the other is up north. Neither are stealth Christians. Is that what you mean in your observations? > > Back to the story… if the neighbor was so beside himself that he called the mayor to intervene that very night, why didn’t he call him back to make sure the offending luminaries were gone from in front of his house? Because if I’m reading that right, the original perpetrator decided to be the ultimate dick here and leave it up there after being told to take it down. So, if it was that much of an issue to immediately cause all this strum and drang over, why do nothing and let it remain unmolested until the next day? That makes no sense. > > Also, the offending neighbor’s wife made me roll my eyes with her final quote. Really? > > Edit: That was to **Lamar**. My apologies. I was thinking of someone else entirely. Definitely not you. I have never met a Jewish family (two parents and children who identify as Jewish or some variation thereof) who celebrate Christmas. A mixed family who have no strong religious beliefs, yes, but not people who self-identify as Jewish. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/38 "2013-12-28T04:29:44Z")
so obviously these people were personal friends of the Mayor. They seemed to have called him at home on Christmas eve. (city offices closed) Then the Mayor comes over and tells them that it offended people? Why didn’t the Mayor or the offended people just put out the ones in front of their house? Why did the Mayor come over? Is that person a huge contributor to the Mayor’s campaign fund? Obviously they should have asked permission from every home. But did the Mayor even tell them to take them down? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/39 "2013-12-28T04:31:41Z")
Big fuss over something that could have been solved with a garden hose. First on the stupid candles, then on the neighbor if he tried to do something about it. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299/40 "2013-12-28T04:55:18Z")
> [@Lamar\_Mundane](#): > > My apologies. I was thinking of someone else entirely. Definitely not you. > > I have never met a Jewish family (two parents and children who identify as Jewish or some variation thereof) who celebrate Christmas. A mixed family who have no strong religious beliefs, yes, but not people who self-identify as Jewish. I have. In fact a woman I work with loves Christmas. She typically puts up at least five decorated trees in her house. She is Jewish, and raised her daughter as Jewish, and she is sad that her grown daughter no longer keeps Christmas (the daughter apparently has decided she really is Jewish). I live near an area where there are lots of Jewish people, including those who are so, um, observant that they don’t drive on Saturday, and in this neighborhood there are many lights. I guess they are Hanukkah lights but some of them are really over the top. Not saying everybody in this area who’s Jewish does this, but a lot of them do. (They are mostly just lights–not nativity scenes and not santas on the roof.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-decides-to-christmas-decorate-the-whole-block-community-spirit-or-butthurt-waiting-to-happen/677299.md?page=3)