# Family financial-political situation **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 8, 2012, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088 "2012-10-08T13:59:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/41 "2012-10-09T22:23:23Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > One thing is bothering me…How can they be Rightwing and live in a homosexual partnership. Does that not strike them as weird or wrong? I am confuzzled. There is a group called the [Log Cabin Republicans](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Log_Cabin_Republicans) which consists of gay/lesbian members of the Republican Party. They’re fiscally conservative, and officially neutral on social issues except those related to equality. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/42 "2012-10-10T00:11:20Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I don’t understand the remarks about their conservativism. They’re not asking for a handout from the government; they’re asking for a handout from their family. That’s how it’s supposed to work. “Family first” is a conservative principle. > > But anyhow, I wouldn’t give them money either. You’ll never see it again. If you do give them money, do it by buying their household goods like the TV. Tell them that they can come purchase the TV back at any time for what you paid. > Give them money or don’t, but the bottom line is if you’re using political affiliation to make the decision, you’re taking it too far. I know it’s election season and all, but turn down the fervor, would ya? Well, the OP was disinherited by this uncle, so she’s no longer family. Until, that is, he needs some money. THEN she becomes family again. He’s sneered at her and treated her like dirt, and has never shown any generosity towards her. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/43 "2012-10-10T02:04:15Z")
Let’s not forget, he’s also applying for funding through someone else. Kind of slimey, to my mind. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/44 "2012-10-10T03:59:28Z")
Am I the only one suspicious that _ **everyone else** _ in the family just happens to have no savings? To wonder if perhaps the family is thinking a childless old maid like Ann\* doesn’t have anything better to do with the money, she may as well share it now instead of waiting 'till she dies? ('Cause, God knows, she’ll live forever, that kind always does …) “Family is family” is for people with a run of bad luck, significant additional needs, or a tendency to bad punning. There also has to be some hope that it would be reciprocal; that does not seem to be the case here. Maybe you could offer to match what your relatives give. - That’s your relatives’ description, not mine. I told them the correct term was “cougar”. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/45 "2012-10-10T04:26:41Z")
The part I find interesting is that your uncle is apparently gay, and yet so Republican that he would disinherit people over it. While I know there are indeed gay Republicans, I’d expect gay Republicans to be more tolerant of liberals due to the high number of liberals in the gay community. Anyway, I agree with the view that, politics aside, if he wants to disinherit you he isn’t entitled to any money. No need to be unkind about it, but I wouldn’t really blame you for not wanting to give money to someone who hasn’t really showed you much consideration. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/46 "2012-10-10T12:58:34Z")
> [@j666](#): > > Am I the only one suspicious that _ **everyone else** _ in the family just happens to have no savings? > > To wonder if perhaps the family is thinking a childless old maid like Ann\* doesn’t have anything better to do with the money, she may as well share it now instead of waiting 'till she dies? ('Cause, God knows, she’ll live forever, that kind always does …) > > “Family is family” is for people with a run of bad luck, significant additional needs, or a tendency to bad punning. There also has to be some hope that it would be reciprocal; that does not seem to be the case here. > > Maybe you could offer to match what your relatives give. > > - That’s your relatives’ description, not mine. I told them the correct term was “cougar”. I tend to go with “committed bachelorette” 🙂 I can understand your suspicions but I really do know that none of them have 2 nickels to rub together. And I’ve decided to “just say no” …assuming they have the nerve to ask ME, which I expected by now but they haven’t yet. Not sure if it’s because my mom has given them a preview of my reaction or if they don’t have the correct phone number for me…I changed it like 10 years ago. Really, it wasn’t the political jab although that was the irony. When I got “disinherited” I channeled Seinfeld’s Susan Ross after George told he he wanted her to sign a prenup…Bwah ha ha ha …You don’t have any money!! I have more money than you… And won’t break my strict “no loans to family” policy, it’s there for a reason. I do GIVE considerable sums to my immediate family but that’s another story - and also how the extended family knows I have the resources. Bottom line,no loans and I think if I GAVE them anything they would feel – not grateful-- but like they had gotten over on me. That makes it easy. It’s just that I would feel taken advantage of and I think they would feel like they got one over on me. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/47 "2012-10-10T14:46:00Z")
You should bake up a nice [Schadenfreude Pie](http://whatever.scalzi.com/2006/09/26/how-to-make-a-schadenfreude-pie/) and send it along with a sympathy card. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/48 "2012-10-10T14:52:38Z")
I get what the OP is saying, and I’m not trying to disagree. The soap basket is funny, but how about a laundry basket instead? Filled with non-perishable food-stuffs so they won’t go hungry? Peanut butter lasts almost forever as does pasta. The thing is, you’d need to find a basket that has on the outside the image of a Crow… 😉 OK, that s a little mean, but if its that bad, some food on the table couldn’t hurt. Give a man a fish and he’s fed for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll bitch about having to clean fish for a lifetime… ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/49 "2012-10-10T15:36:56Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > I get what the OP is saying, and I’m not trying to disagree. The soap basket is funny, but how about a laundry basket instead? Filled with non-perishable food-stuffs so they won’t go hungry? > Peanut butter lasts almost forever as does pasta. The thing is, you’d need to find a basket that has on the outside the image of a Crow… 😉 > > OK, that s a little mean, but if its that bad, some food on the table couldn’t hurt. > > Give a man a fish and he’s fed for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll bitch about having to clean fish for a lifetime… Nice. Peanut butter, ramen noodles, mac and cheese mix, cheapest ass crackers you can find from the dollar store (expired, of course), powdered milk… ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/50 "2012-10-10T15:56:34Z")
As a Gay guy, I am most shocked and surprised that your Gay uncle (an opera singer no less) and his partner are Republicans. Long prior to this financial hit, I would have told them they were idiot assholes who had their heads stuck in the sand (or some other dark, dank place). My rule of thumb is simple. Unless you and any particular relative were close - like real friends - they are nothing more than people who happen to be blood related and no more or less entitled to your help than some co-worker you casually know in the mail room. I would no more expect most of my relatives to leap to my financial situation than I would to leap to theirs = none. We have little in common and let it stay that way. I do have a couple of close relatives that I do consider “close friends” and I would do whatever I could. So, in your case it is easy. You obviously did not win lottery and do not have several hundred million in the bank, you are just doing well. They were never exactly warm and fuzzy people who shared similar interests with you. Ergo - they are mere acquaintances, and should be treated as such. If you do nothing, you should feel no guilt whatsoever and sleep well. Of course, you could always donate $100 to Obama in their name. That way, after Obama wins, they might at least get some health care, keep their unemployment and get some food stamps. Send them a nice card, stating such. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/51 "2012-10-10T18:41:55Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Nice. > > Peanut butter, ramen noodles, mac and cheese mix, cheapest ass crackers you can find from the dollar store (expired, of course),ut powdered milk… I toyed with suggesting framing the “teach a man to fish” quote in a really nice frame. And including with it a fully stocked tackle-box and and a ZEBCO rod & reel. That way, every time the OP was out driving and saw saw someone out fishing along the Hudson or the East River, she could point & say, “Hey! Uncle Fredonia! What’s biting today? Life…?” ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/52 "2012-10-10T18:57:10Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > I get what the OP is saying, and I’m not trying to disagree. The soap basket is funny, but how about a laundry basket instead? Filled with non-perishable food-stuffs so they won’t go hungry? > Peanut butter lasts almost forever as does pasta. The thing is, you’d need to find a basket that has on the outside the image of a Crow… 😉 > > OK, that s a little mean, but if its that bad, some food on the table couldn’t hurt. > > Give a man a fish and he’s fed for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll bitch about having to clean fish for a lifetime… I have to admit that the idea of a laundry basket full of edibles with a crow on it makes me giggle like a madwoman. And [here](http://www.silvercrowcreations.com/accessoriesframes.asp?main=stickers.htm) is a large decal for the basket. Scroll down a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/53 "2012-10-10T19:05:30Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I don’t understand the remarks about their conservativism. They’re not asking for a handout from the government; they’re asking for a handout from their family. That’s how it’s supposed to work. “Family first” is a conservative principle. That’s actually a very good point. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/54 "2012-10-10T19:45:12Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > That’s actually a very good point. Yeah, the reason I’m a liberal is that I don’t want my shirt tail relations living in my basement eating my groceries, much less my boutique chocolate. Tax me and provide section eight housing and food stamps to them. It’s a completely selfish thing. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/55 "2012-10-10T20:00:03Z")
If Family First is a conservative principle, then clearly the OPs uncle is NOT a conservative, given as he disinherits whenever he gets a burr up his butt. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/56 "2012-10-11T00:07:20Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Yeah, the reason I’m a liberal is that I don’t want my shirt tail relations living in my basement eating my groceries, much less my boutique chocolate. Tax me and provide section eight housing and food stamps to them. It’s a completely selfish thing. I don’t disagree with that … ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/57 "2012-10-11T00:23:56Z")
Some people are independent conservatives–they want to do things their own way, can solve their own problems, and don’t want any help. Other people are selfish conservatives–they got theirs, so screw you! Your uncles sound like the latter type. Everything is good as long as the money is flowing in. But now that they need help, the first thing they do is ask for a handout. Didn’t Craig T. Nelson say something like “I’ve been on foodstamps and welfare, did anyone help me out? No.” ---
**Author:** ![Imasquare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Imasquare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imasquare)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/58 "2012-10-11T01:00:09Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I think they’re right. Keep your money. Don’t give it to those freeloaders. They’re what’s wrong with this country. I agree. Let’s see how bootstrappy they are now. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/59 "2012-10-11T18:52:05Z")
But what has the disinheriting uncle to disinherit you of? Send them your TV telling them you got a bigger one. ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088/60 "2012-10-12T01:58:29Z")
Yep. Have to second the donation to a charity or Obama campaign in their name. That is all I would do. Relative, schmelative. Save the help for someone who is more deserving, meaning, less of an asshole. Disinherited. That word is only thrown around by emotional dwarfs who have more interest in controlling people than being decent. Seriously, who uses that? Never heard of someone who wasn’t a complete dick throw that down at any time, anywhere. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-financial-political-situation/637088.md?page=4)