# Family Guy **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 22, 2006, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731 "2006-08-22T12:12:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/41 "2006-08-23T15:42:37Z")
[QUOTE=Euthanasiast] “Hey louis, I’m sorry, I’m suck at the office and so I can’t take out the trash.” [/QUOTE] **Stuck** at the office. Or, if you like the other version. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/42 "2006-08-23T15:51:19Z")
[QUOTE=don’t ask] Stewie to Brian : How you uh, how you comin’ on that novel you’re working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there?.. [/QUOTE] _SNIP_ And that whole exchange is even better in Stewie’s voice, which keeps getting higher pitched as he goes on and on. ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/43 "2006-08-23T15:56:02Z")
More recent: Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play “I Never.” You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did. Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on. (They all drink.) Joe: I’ll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland’s wife. (Quagmire and Cleveland drink.) Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom. (Only Quagmire drinks.) **About 33 drinks later** Peter: God lets see what else is there um…I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence. Quagmire: Oh God. (Quagmire takes a drink.) Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself. Quagmire: Oh come on! (Quagmire drinks again.) Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics. Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.) Quagmire should have his own spinoff show, he’s that great a character. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/44 "2006-08-23T15:58:56Z")
The other one is better for that. He gets so high pitched and breathless that you can barely understand him…until the last line. You can see them both [here](http://video.kitt.net/2006/01/cartoon-family-guy-that-novel-youve.html) for the cruel at heart. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/45 "2006-08-23T16:17:35Z")
[QUOTE=Pochacco] After the outhouse tips over with Peter inside: “Oh God! It’s … everywhere! It’s in my raccoon wounds!” [/QUOTE] Earlier in that same episode, when they first go into the house where they’ll be hiding out. Someone: “Oh, what’s that smell?” Brian: “It’s either bad meat or good cheese.” ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/46 "2006-08-23T16:23:42Z")
I love Stewie’s exchange with Olivia after his acting preformance in class: Olivia: You ARE the weakest link. Goodbye! Stewie (bursts into huge guffaws.): Oh, my, you are so FUNNY! Did you come up with that all by yourself? You are so FUNNY! You took a line from a show and used it out of context against _me_! You know, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone use that reference outside the show. Because that is what she says, right? “You are the weakest link. Goodbye!” God, you are so FUNNY!" ---
**Author:** ![tashabot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tashabot/32/6250_2.png) [@tashabot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tashabot)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/47 "2006-08-23T16:54:51Z")
[QUOTE=feppytweed] Nitpick: It was Slow Ride by Foghat. [/QUOTE] My apologies. I don’t have that season on DVD. Plus, “Zepplin” just sounds like a cooler band name than “Foghat.” (Not disbuting Foghat’s coolness - Zepplin just sounds better) ~Tasha ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/48 "2006-08-23T17:52:17Z")
Two favorites: Can’t remember what they’re watching on TV, but Brian strolls in and watches for a second. Then he says in perfect deadpan, “Got anything on that remote lower than ‘mute’?” Lois runs over to Quagmire’s to borrow his car. Quagmire comes to the door in a short, open robe. He says sure, grins, and starts, ostensibly, searching his pockets for his car keys with his right hand, just out of frame off the bottom of the screen. His right hand roams around as he grins for about a solid minute, then his left hand appears from behind the door frame with the keys. “Oh, here they are.” ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/49 "2006-08-23T18:14:36Z")
[QUOTE=Max Torque] Can’t remember what they’re watching on TV, but Brian strolls in and watches for a second. Then he says in perfect deadpan, “Got anything on that remote lower than ‘mute’?” [/QUOTE] One Day at a Time, IIRC. During 'Schneider’s string of euphamisms for Ms Romano’s genetalia. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/50 "2006-08-23T18:15:35Z")
[QUOTE=Euthanasiast] Quagmire should have his own spinoff show, he’s that great a character. [/QUOTE] “Oh that Quagmire.. what WON’T he say?” (to the tune of his theme song) “Giggity-giggity-giggity, let’s have sex!” ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/51 "2006-08-23T18:36:16Z")
I like the joke where somebody, I think Brian, reads something in the paper: Brian: Peter, look at this. Peter: My god! Movable type! Let no one tell the serfs, lest they rise up against us! \ Serf: What’s that, my lord? Peter: Nothing! Get back to work! ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/52 "2006-08-23T21:20:07Z")
[QUOTE=Tengu] One Day at a Time, IIRC. During 'Schneider’s string of euphamisms for Ms Romano’s genetalia. [/QUOTE] I think it was them watching Seinfeld, the One Day At A Time incident was another ep. ---
**Author:** ![Scruloose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/53 "2006-08-24T00:31:08Z")
[Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man!](http://www.gofish.com/userVideoPlayer.gfp?gfid=30-1018436) Kills me every time I see it. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/54 "2006-08-24T02:17:35Z")
[QUOTE=Max Torque] Lois runs over to Quagmire’s to borrow his car. Quagmire comes to the door in a short, open robe. He says sure, grins, and starts, ostensibly, searching his pockets for his car keys with his right hand, just out of frame off the bottom of the screen. His right hand roams around as he grins for about a solid minute, then his left hand appears from behind the door frame with the keys. “Oh, here they are.” [/QUOTE] No, I just watched this: he found the keys with his right hand. Which, to me, made it funnier. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/55 "2006-08-24T02:34:28Z")
Brian, there’s a message in my Alpha Bits, it says “OOOOOOOOOOO” Peter, those are Cheerios… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/56 "2006-08-24T13:03:36Z")
Season 4 hits the stands this November. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/57 "2006-08-24T14:25:11Z")
One of my favorites: Peter is stapling a red carpet to the bedroom floor because the Emmys or Grammys are on that night. Lois, protesting, winds up wrestling him to the ground, shoving his face into the new carpet and yelling “Eat the red carpet! Eat the red carpet!”. Quagmire, who has always lusted after Lois, is walking by outside, and hears Lois demanding “Eat the red carpet!”. He utters one weak “Giggety” and passes out. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/58 "2006-08-24T18:24:01Z")
Peter is teaching Meg how to get dates (I think), and says “When I am through with you, you will be beating guys off with both hands” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/59 "2006-08-24T22:46:37Z")
Roleplaying in the bedroom: Lois: I need a spanking. I’m a bad, bad girl! Peter: I’m a paladin with 18 charisma and 97 hitpoints. I can use my helm of disintegration and do 1d4 damage as my half-elf mage wields his +5 holy avenger. Lois: Paladins can’t use the helm of disintegration. Peter: Oh. Okay, then I’m a black guy! ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731/60 "2006-08-26T11:49:02Z")
Don’t you mean Volume four? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/family-guy/369731.md?page=4)