# Famous Last Words **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 13, 2004, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283 "2004-01-13T19:02:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cletus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@cletus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cletus)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2004, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/1 "2004-01-13T19:02:03Z")
Hey guys, watch this! Look, it’s this simple to fix. You dare me to do **this**? ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2004, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/2 "2004-01-13T19:31:52Z")
…and then we add a drop of Chemical X and… whoops! Oh sure, this car can jump that far. Lemme back up. Yes, you do look fat in that dress. Charge! ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2004, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/3 "2004-01-13T19:53:34Z")
Hold my beer and hang on. Don’t bother with an ambulance, I know how to suck the poison out of rattlesnake bites. No, the gun is _not_ loaded. Watch! Lemme guess. You rob stores because you’re too ugly to get a real job, right? See, look. It’s perfectly safe. Ahh, Italian, Sicilian – same damned thing. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/4 "2004-01-13T20:13:16Z")
I do. :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2004, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/5 "2004-01-13T20:18:49Z")
[li]There’s no WAY this safety guard could come off.[/li] [li]I’m certain that snake’s not poisonous.[/li] [li]They won’t fire me.[/li] [li]I’ve done this a million times.[/li] [li]They only put that warning on there because their lawyers make them.[/li] The water’s not THAT deep. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/6 "2004-01-13T20:26:06Z")
Is it dead or sleeping? Poke it with a stick. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2004, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/7 "2004-01-13T20:35:30Z")
What do you mean a _ground wire_? Rain’s a comin’… better get under that tree. See them branches rustlin? Shoot right there! ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/8 "2004-01-13T20:44:44Z")
They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2004, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/9 "2004-01-13T21:00:28Z")
“Aryan Brotherhood”? What, that some kinda homo group or sumpthin’? I don’t care _who_ her father is, I’m gonna go hit on her! Nawww, they’re all duds. No way, I know an undercover cop when I see one! So, it’s still a little red in the middle…it’ll still taste just fine. _Another_ tequila shot? Allright!! Make mine a double! ---
**Author:** ![pervert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbe5ce/32.png) [@pervert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pervert)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2004, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/10 "2004-01-13T21:01:28Z")
“God damn the whole friggin’ world and everyone in it but you, Carlotta.” - Fields, W.C. (1880-1946) “It is nothing. It is nothing.” - Franz Ferdinand, Archduke (1863-1914) “Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here.” - Nostradamus (Michel de Notre Dame) 1503-1566 I’m not sure why these struck me as funny. [I found them here.](http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/6537/index.htm) I was looking for the one **jjimm** quoted. But these will do. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2004, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/11 "2004-01-13T21:01:58Z")
“What does _this_ button do?” “What duck?” “Nice doggie.” ---
**Author:** ![wnorthr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecccb3/32.png) [@wnorthr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wnorthr)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2004, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/12 "2004-01-13T21:51:25Z")
There’s no way it could reach through the bars. I can’t see. Anybody got a match? It’s not deep at all. Do we need this part? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2004, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/13 "2004-01-13T22:05:46Z")
Told ya I was sick… ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2004, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/14 "2004-01-13T22:09:00Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist – Maj. Gen. John Sedgewick, shot by a Confederate sniper while chastising his men for taking cover from the sniper’s fire at the battle of Spotsylvania in 1864. ---
**Author:** ![BellaDellaItalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BellaDellaItalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellaDellaItalia)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/15 "2004-01-14T01:25:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Ahh, Italian, Sicilian – same damned thing. Heh. My uncle would just be the guy to do you in for this one. ---
**Author:** ![Extraneous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/0ea827/32.png) [@Extraneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Extraneous)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/16 "2004-01-14T01:55:17Z")
“You ain’t got the balls!” (said to the guy pointing a shotgun at decedent’s mid-section) ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/17 "2004-01-14T01:57:57Z")
“Ah, it’s just a Texas state trooper. We can out-run him!” ---
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/18 "2004-01-14T04:22:00Z")
Who will ever know? I promise not to cum in your mouth… ---
**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/19 "2004-01-14T05:38:21Z")
Either that wallpaper goes or I do! ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2004, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283/20 "2004-01-14T15:08:15Z")
"Which one of these is the third rail? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-last-words/224283.md?page=2)