# Famous quotes--by the wrong people! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2000, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965 "2000-04-13T22:38:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/1 "2000-04-13T22:38:00Z")
“I offer you the Superman.”–Clark Kent “The unexamined life is not worth living.”–Jerry Springer “Thank heaven for little girls.”–Virginia McMartin “Absolute power corrupts absolutely.”–Mao Tse-Tung “I am _not_ a crook.”–Willie Sutton “And that’s the way it is.”–Franz Kafka Post here actual famous quotes, but attrivute them to the lest likely person to have made them. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Boris\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@Boris\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boris_B)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/2 "2000-04-13T22:52:00Z")
“I will balance the Federal budget.” - Ronald Reagan (I know that one will precipitate another round of anti-Gore Gore quotes, but those are pretty much a force of nature anyway.) * * * Hopefully, I can convince you to accept “hopefully” as a disjunct adverb. Frankly, I would be lying if I said I were confident. Perhaps this subject is simply too complex for me to explain. Unfortunately, I would be lucky to explain my way out of a paper bag. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/3 "2000-04-13T23:10:00Z")
**Bigamy is one wife too many. Polygamy is the same.** Some Mormon. ---
**Author:** ![Cessandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cessandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cessandra)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/4 "2000-04-13T23:55:00Z")
How about Joseph Smith, Wally? Isn’t that the name of their founder? * * * [Cessandra](http://envy.nu/cessandra/profile/) I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids! ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/5 "2000-04-13T23:59:00Z")
I couldn’t think of his name. Thanks, Cess. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/6 "2000-04-14T00:03:00Z")
I’m sure Brigham Young would also suit nicely. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/7 "2000-04-14T05:27:00Z")
“No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making some other poor bastard die for his country.” Fred Rodgers (for best effect, imagine it in his perky little voice) ---
**Author:** ![dekayx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@dekayx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dekayx)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/8 "2000-04-14T13:35:00Z")
I did not have sex with that woman Hillary Clinton ---
**Author:** ![Occam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Occam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Occam)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/9 "2000-04-14T15:59:00Z")
“God is dead.” - Martin Luthor “Never give a sucker an even break.” - Mr. Roger’s "I’ll moider da bum. " William Shakespeare , when asked what he thought of Heavyweight boxer Tony Galento * * * “Clatu, Verrata…nector?..neck-tie?” ---
**Author:** ![WIGGUM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WIGGUM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WIGGUM)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/10 "2000-04-14T16:52:00Z")
“If rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it.”–Gloria Steinam ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/11 "2000-04-14T16:55:00Z")
“A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!” - Elmer, of Elmer’s Glue * * * Sala, can’t you count?!? I said NO camels! That’s FIVE camels! ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/12 "2000-04-14T16:59:00Z")
“I have always relied on the kindness of strangers.” – Kitty Genovese ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/13 "2000-04-14T18:38:00Z")
“It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.” - Kenneth Starr * * * Sig! Sig a Sog! Sig it loud! Sig it Strog! – Karen Carpenter with a head cold ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_Propski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@Guy\_Propski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Propski)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/14 "2000-04-14T20:33:00Z")
“What this country needs is a good five-cent cigar.”–C. Everett Koop “I think, therefore I am.”–George W. Bush, Jr. “You like me! You really like me!”–A. Hitler. “I’m a Superfreak; the kind you don’t bring home to mutha!”–Al Gore “Hope I die before I get old.”–the Queen Mum ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/15 "2000-04-14T21:23:00Z")
“What’s good for General Motors is good for the USA” **Michael Moore** “WAZZZUUUUUUUUP!!!” **Miss Manners** ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/16 "2000-04-15T02:07:00Z")
“I love everybody. So what if they don’t belong to my religion and believe something completely different. They are still God’s children.” 90% of all Christians. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/17 "2000-04-15T03:53:00Z")
“A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” – Jeffrey Dahmer ---
**Author:** ![dwtno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@dwtno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwtno)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/famous-quotes-by-the-wrong-people/15965/18 "2000-04-15T06:12:00Z")
Game over. Otto Wins.