# Fanfic Ahoy! The Pirates of the Caribbean fiction thread

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanfic-ahoy-the-pirates-of-the-caribbean-fiction-thread/193445>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [August 6, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanfic-ahoy-the-pirates-of-the-caribbean-fiction-thread/193445 "2003-08-06T22:23:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanfic-ahoy-the-pirates-of-the-caribbean-fiction-thread/193445/61 "2003-08-15T03:37:16Z")

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Will meant to say “manly” in that second paragraph, I’m sure. Some of these diaries were clearly written on rough seas and the penmanship is a little difficult to make out. I’m doing my best to provide an accurate transcript, though.

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**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanfic-ahoy-the-pirates-of-the-caribbean-fiction-thread/193445/62 "2003-08-15T04:39:58Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*\*The Secret Diary of Elizabeth Swann \*\*
> 
> **Day 3**
> 
> Things went from bad to good to better to in a pisspot. Next time I have to barter with a pirate I’ll know better about what my conditions of parlay are.
> 
> On a lighter side, ate a scrumptious dinner. Barbossa looked positively orgasmic seeing me go down on that leg o’ pig.
> 
> Was enlightened about the whole ghost story tale that made me nearly hurl the whole hog, if you know what I mean. Monthly _curse_ is nothing compared to the curse these pirates have.
> 
> I feel so bloated now.
> 
> What’s the the monkey? Is it Marcel’s creepy g.g.g.g.grandfather or what?
> 
> I shall curl up in a fetal position now. Think pretty thoughts…think pretty thoughts.

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**Author:** ![jeanster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc348/32.png) [@jeanster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeanster)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanfic-ahoy-the-pirates-of-the-caribbean-fiction-thread/193445/63 "2003-08-21T04:14:08Z")

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[Will Turner: Owner’s Guide and Maintenance Manual](http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1479696)

Highly recommended funny POTC fanfic

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**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanfic-ahoy-the-pirates-of-the-caribbean-fiction-thread/193445/64 "2003-08-21T04:25:12Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> _From jeanster’s link_  
> **Q: I am a medical student. My WILL keeps attacking the model skeleton in my study. What can I do?**
> 
> A: It is extraordinarily difficult to counteract your WILL’s programming in this respect. The tiniest glimpse of a skeleton triggers the ‘Romantic-Hero-Rescuing-His-Lady-Love’ functionality. The only course of action is to let him swash until he buckles.

I am near death here. That was some funny stuff!

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**Author:** ![LookitMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7bcc69/32.png) [@LookitMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LookitMe)\
**Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanfic-ahoy-the-pirates-of-the-caribbean-fiction-thread/193445/65 "2003-09-16T02:14:37Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Grimmauld \*  
> \*\*It seems the page has moved. The Slashers of the Caribbean can now be found [here](http://www.kmm-online.de/noxwise/fics/potc_slashers.html). \*\*

Oh, no. That link isn’t working either.

☹

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**Author:** ![LookitMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7bcc69/32.png) [@LookitMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LookitMe)\
**Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanfic-ahoy-the-pirates-of-the-caribbean-fiction-thread/193445/66 "2003-09-16T02:17:08Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Grimmauld \*  
> \*\*the fantabulous [Slashers of the Caribbean](http://home.arcor.de/noxwise/fiction/fics/potc_slashers.html), a slash parody.
> 
> \*\*

Did anyone else also get this message:

> [@](#):
>
> Noctilucent - The [fan] fiction of Noctiluca  
> This website is closed. Thank you for four great years!
> 
> ~Noxy, August 29, 2003

☹

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