# Fantasy Bands **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 21, 2000, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-bands/34020 "2000-09-21T17:32:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Biffer\_Spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@Biffer\_Spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffer_Spice)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-bands/34020/1 "2000-09-21T17:32:38Z")
Add your own if at all interested šŸ˜‰ **Jazz:** Vocals : Ella Fitzgerald Guitar : Herb Ellis Keyboard : Bill Evans Tenor Sax : Lester Young Alto Sax : Charlie Parker Trumpet : Miles Davis Bass : Ray Brown Drums : Steve Gadd **Rock:** Vocals : Chris Cornell Guitar : Buckethead Guitar : Paul Gilbert Bass : Billy Sheehan Drums : Vinni Colaiuta **Funk:** Vocals : James Brown Brass : Tower of Power Horn Section Keyboard : Herbie Hancock or Stevie Wonder Guitar : John Frusciante Bass : Bootsy Collins Drums : David Garibaldi ---
**Author:** ![Diesel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@Diesel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diesel)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-bands/34020/2 "2000-09-21T17:44:15Z")
Vocals/Songwriting-Billy Corgan Guitar- Tom Morello Guitar- Wes Borland Bass- Flea Drums- Jimmy Chamberlin Other sounds- Trent Reznor ---
**Author:** ![conway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ec9cab/32.png) [@conway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/conway)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-bands/34020/3 "2000-09-21T18:05:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biffer Spice \* > \*\* > **Rock:** > Vocals : Chris Cornell > Guitar : Buckethead > Guitar : Paul Gilbert > Bass : Billy Sheehan > Drums : Vinni Colaiuta > > \*\* Oooh nice, but Iā€™d maybe put Les Claypool (Primus) in there on bass. ---
**Author:** ![relic\_11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/50afbb/32.png) [@relic\_11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/relic_11)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-bands/34020/4 "2000-09-21T18:47:42Z")
Vocals: Maynard from TOOL Guitar: Billy Corgan from Smashing pumpkins Songwriters/More guitar/drums/base: Metalica Backup vocals: Skin from Skunk Anise ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-bands/34020/5 "2000-09-21T20:16:15Z")
Lead vocals: Gord Downie and Aretha Franklin Rhymes: Ice T Lead guitar: Eddie Van Halen Rhythm Guitar: John Lennon, who can help write songs Bass: Flea and Bootsy Collins, 'cause I just gotta have two Drums: Neil Peart Keyboard: Ray Charles Horns: Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, and Brendan Marsalis Not Even Allowed In The Goddamn Audience: Kenny G and John Tesh ---
**Author:** ![bugman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@bugman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bugman)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2000, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-bands/34020/6 "2000-09-22T00:44:09Z")
For ā€œballsy blues-based rockā€ Vocals-Bon Scot Guitar-Eric Clapton Guitar-Roy Buchanan Bass-Rick Danko Drums-John Bonham For ā€œmodern rockā€ Vocals-Mike Patton Guitar-Jerry Cantrell Guitar-John Frusciante Bass-Les Claypool Drums-Matt Cameron ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2000, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-bands/34020/7 "2000-09-22T00:56:49Z")
Rhythm guitar/vocals: John Lennon Bass/vocals: Paul McCartney Lead guitar/vocals: George Harrison Drums/vocals: Ringo Starr We can only imagine what such a combination would produceā€¦oh, wait a minute! Damn, Iā€™m in a rutā€¦all right, add Billy Preston on keyboards, just to make it a fantasy line-upā€¦oh, crapā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2000, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-bands/34020/8 "2000-09-22T01:00:48Z")
Vocals: Geoff Tate (Queensryche) Backing Choir: James LaBrie (Dream Theater) and Ray Alder (Fates Warning) Lead Guitar: David Gilmore (Pink Floyd), Alex Lifeson (Rush), and Mark Knopfler (Dire Straits) Rythm Guitar: John Petrucci (Dream Theater) Bass Guitar: Geddy Lee (Rush) and Les Claypool (Primus) Synthesizer: Kevin Moore (former Dream Theater), and Geddy Lee (Rush) Drums: Neil Peart (Rush) and Mike Portnoy (Dream Theater) They can alternate drummers, lead guitarists and bass players all they want, or just duel it out - maybe even an old fashioned quadrophonic concert! Hoo boy, this would rock. If Iā€™m allowed to select dead people, I want Hendrix to be there too, BTW. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2000, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-bands/34020/9 "2000-09-22T01:51:15Z")
The beauty of a band is having a chemistry between the players which makes a unit which is much stronger than the sum of its parts. Metallica (pretending itā€™s ten years ago right now) made great music with a shitty drummer. That band would not have been the same with another drummer, even a ā€œmore talented one,ā€ like, say, Dave Lombardo of Slayer. Also, musical dexterity means shit to me. Iā€™d rather listen to The Ramones and Motƶrhead a hundred times each than some wank-fest from supposed impeccable hacks such as Dream Theater, ELP or Yngwie J. Malmsteen onceā€¦ (Waiting for Coldilocks to come here and smite meā€¦) In any event, this is an excersise in futility for both reasons, but mainly the first reason. * * * Yer pal, Satan - Commissioner, [The Teeming Minions](http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/full/show?lid=39428&page=leaguehome) \*TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING: Five months, one week, five days, 23 hours, 51 minutes and 9 seconds. 6639 cigarettes not smoked, saving $829.97. Extra time with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 2 days, 1 hour, 15 minutes. \***ā€œIā€™m a big Genesis fan.ā€-David B. _(Amen, brother!)_** ---
**Author:** ![DigitalMuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecccb3/32.png) [@DigitalMuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalMuse)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2000, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-bands/34020/10 "2000-09-22T02:06:54Z")
vocals- maynard(tool) and Tina Root(switchblade symphony) guitar: mark tremonti (creed) keyboard: susan wallace(switchblade symphony) bass: Darcy (smashing pumkpins) drums: mercedes lander(kittie) ---
**Author:** ![Biffer\_Spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@Biffer\_Spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffer_Spice)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-bands/34020/11 "2000-09-25T08:06:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Satan \* > \*\*Metallica (pretending itā€™s ten years ago right now) made great music with a shitty drummer. That band would not have been the same with another drummer, even a ā€œmore talented one,ā€ like, say, Dave Lombardo of Slayer. > \*\* I take it youā€™re joking!!! Heā€™s one of the best drummers of the metal era! Have you listened to ā€œā€¦And Justice For Allā€?? You try the double bass-drumming on ā€œDyerā€™s Eveā€ (I have rarely heard double bass-drumming so clean at such a speed, even from the celebrated jazz drummers) or the weird time signatures on ā€œBlackenedā€. Heā€™s awesome, and what gave Metallica their speed and power. Gotta love that snare-triplet followed by crash and bass-drum trademarkā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Biffer\_Spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@Biffer\_Spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffer_Spice)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-bands/34020/12 "2000-09-25T08:07:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*Vocals: Geoff Tate (Queensryche) > Backing Choir: James LaBrie (Dream Theater) and Ray Alder (Fates Warning) > Lead Guitar: David Gilmore (Pink Floyd), Alex Lifeson (Rush), and Mark Knopfler (Dire Straits) > Rythm Guitar: John Petrucci (Dream Theater) > Bass Guitar: Geddy Lee (Rush) and Les Claypool (Primus) > Synthesizer: Kevin Moore (former Dream Theater), and Geddy Lee (Rush) > Drums: Neil Peart (Rush) and Mike Portnoy (Dream Theater) > > They can alternate drummers, lead guitarists and bass players all they want, or just duel it out - maybe even an old fashioned quadrophonic concert! > > Hoo boy, this would rock. If Iā€™m allowed to select dead people, I want Hendrix to be there too, BTW. \*\* Good call on the Dreamtheater peeps. They are one talented bunch of bastardsā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-bands/34020/13 "2000-09-25T13:03:39Z")
a) Donā€™t call them ā€œpeepsā€. They hate that. b) Lars Ulrich sucks lemming ass.