# Fantasy Fights; part deux **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 27, 2001, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991 "2001-10-27T19:26:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2001, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/1 "2001-10-27T19:26:13Z")
Imagine your favorite characters from the movies, tv, comic books, video games, etc. and match them up against each other. Muhammed Ali vs Rocky Buffy vs Blade Osama bin Laden vs Rambo The Borg vs The Dominion Dirty Harry vs Shaft Bad, Bad Leroy Brown vs Stagger Lee Cylon vs Terminator PumkinHead vs Predator Colonial Viper vs X-wing Gandalf vs Harry Potter T-1000 vs Agent Smith (The Matrix) Batman vs Boba Fett Red Dwarf’s Rimmer vs Voyager’s EMH Doctor Come up with your own match-ups, or comment on an existing fight. Say like, what factors go into a battle between Founders, Vorta, Jem’Hadar, and the Drones with the Borg Queen? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2001, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/2 "2001-10-27T20:34:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enola Straight \* > \*\*Red Dwarf’s Rimmer \*\* Say what? I’ve _got_ to watch that show. My favorite battle of cartoon characters would be: Falwell vs. Farrakan ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2001, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/3 "2001-10-28T16:17:20Z")
Lets set up some matches… On a typical day in the city, two cybernetic hunters lope after their respective targets. One, apparently a cop, is pursuing the young John Connor. But you see, constant pursuit takes a lot out of a mimetic polyalloy, so on the run he recharges with his favorite amorphous fuel…peanut butter. Meanwhile… Agent Smith has targeted Neo and angles to intercept. He feels a little tired and hungry himself, so he nibbles on a chocolate bar. Reaching a blind corner, Neo and Connor run past each other without incident, but their respective pursuers… CRASH!!! With the two computer controlled hunters on their respective asses, they notice the peanut butter jar with a chocolate bar stuck in it. “Hey! You got peanut butter on my chocolate!” “NO…You got chocolate in my peanut butter!” Enraged with each other, they pull their guns out and start shooting. T-1000 harmlessly absorbs the fusilade, while Agent Smith simply dodges all the incoming bullets. Throwing away the useles, empty pistols, the two rush each other to engage in hand to hand combat… WHO’S THE ULTIMATE WINNER? LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS AND YOU DECIDE! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/4 "2001-10-28T21:22:57Z")
Well, if they’re in the matrix, couldn’t Agent Smith just possess the T-1000? ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/5 "2001-10-29T16:09:15Z")
APB APB FBI’s Ten Most Wanted: re. Doctor Kimble Doctor Kimble has been seen fleeing authorities through the New Jersey Pine Barrens. May be armed and should be considered dangerous. Wanted for the murder of his wife. Deep in the abandoned ruins of a camp ground, the decayed remains of a man in a hockey goalie mask rouses at the sound of feet running by. NOBODY trespasses upon Crystal Lake without incurring the bloody wrath of Jason Voorhees… * * * _ **SPATIAL DISPLACEMENT COMPLETE** _ \>PRIORITY ONE=TERMINATE SARA CONNOR \>PRIORITY TWO=TERMINATE WEAPONS CONTACT DOCTOR KIMBLE \>PRIORITY THREE=AQUIRE SUITABLE WEAPONRY, TRANSPORTATION, AND CLOTHING \>SCAN AREA…RESOURCE FOUND The naked cyborg strolls up to a group of Hells Angels… In an abandoned apartment building in Atlantic City, a lone figure rips the FBI Wanted Brief from the Telex. His cold hatred rises at the thought of this perpetrator on the run after escaping from justice. He takes his black body sock and fills the holsters with the tools of the trade… UZIs, Colts, Magnums, extra clips, etc. He steps out into the night, the image of a skull on his chest… Another lone figure views the same Brief, and is intriegued by the back story…that of a one-armed man. Dr. Kimble is said to be on his own mission to find this man and bring HIM to justice to clear his name. Pulling the cowl over his head, the Dark Night mounts his car and blasts out of the BatCave… High in orbit, the pilot of SLAVE 1 intercepts the news reports of a fugitive. Hey, a bounty is a bounty. Wonder how Dollars convert into Galactic Credits… Farther out, another spaceship intercepts the same broadcast and concludes this individual human to be exceptional prey. Another trophy to add to his wall. He attaches his shoulder blaster and sharpens his wrist blades… THE FUGITIVE VS JASON VS THE TERMINATOR VS THE PUNISHER VS BATMAN VS BOBA FETT VS PREDATOR WHO WINS? YOU DECIDE! ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Brewer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@Master\_Brewer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Brewer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/6 "2001-10-29T16:29:06Z")
Hi all - Been lurking in these forums for a while, but i found this and had to give out this website that i have been a fan of for quite some time. They post new scenarios every week. [http://www.grudge-match.com](http://www.grudge-match.com) ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/7 "2001-10-29T17:29:52Z")
Yep… The World Wide Web Federation’s Grudge Match, Comic Book Ultimate Battles (Both Dragon Hamster ltd.) and The Crossover Universe. Websites which deal with this very genre. BTW, Master Brewer, WELCOME TO THE STRAIGHT DOPE MESSAGE BOARDS! ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/8 "2001-10-30T01:52:21Z")
Ghandi vs Mother Theresa IN A STEEL CAGE GRUDGE MATCH! **ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/9 "2001-10-30T05:36:55Z")
“There’s a bloody hunter on my animal sanctuary!”, bellows Paul McCartney, eyeing the cute little deer, lying dead on the ground with an arrow stuck in its heart. Running back to his house, he unlocks the secret compartment which contains his old Beatles Nehru jacket, Sgt Peppers Jacket, stash of sensemillion, and finds the UZI he bought years ago to ventilate Michael Jackson. His deer will be avenged. Meanwhile… Ted Nugent notches another arrow into his bow, ready to eliminate anyone foolish enough to stand in the way of his trophy. What’s this? An old graying hippy is gunning after him? Yeah, right! Bring it on!! Paul McCartney vs Ted Nugent…WHO WINS? YOU DECIDE! ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/10 "2001-10-30T14:09:53Z")
What about Snake Plissken vs. Harry Tasker (True Lies)? (“I tot you weer dead!” “Yeah, I get that a lot.”) Maverick and Goose (Top Gun) vs. Luke Skywalker and Wedge? Darth Maul vs. The Toad (X-Men?) (Played by the same dude) Neo vs. the Keanu guy from Speed? Same dude again. Ethan Edwards vs. Rooster Cogburn? Any John Wayne character vs. The Man With No Name? Shaft vs. Jules from Pulp Fiction? Michael Jackson vs. Prince? Han Solo (pre-special release) vs. Indiana Jones? Chewbacca vs. Harry from Harry and the Hendersons? Khan vs. Osama bin Laden? Enterprise vs. Star Destroyer **NO, FORGET I EVER SAID THAT** How about: Enterprise vs. Protector II (Galaxy Quest) Or: Enterprise vs. Battlestar Galactica? Mighty Ducks vs. Bad News Bears? Garfield vs. Heathcliff? Snoopy vs. Odie? Calvin vs. Dennis the Menace? Billy vs. Jeffy? UncleJohn vs. Jack Dean Tyler? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/11 "2001-10-30T14:37:14Z")
Lorena Bobbitt vs Bill Clinton Robert Blake vs OJ Simpson Gary Condit vs Patsy Ramsey Dean vs Brando ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/12 "2001-10-30T15:00:34Z")
Lenny Briscoe (Law&Order) vs Sipowicz (NYPDBlue) Freddy Kruger vs Pinhead Rosemary’s Baby vs Damien(The Omen) Reagan O’Niell(The Exorcist) vs Carrie Buck Rogers vs Flash Gordon Battlestar Galactica vs Imperial Star Destroyer And the baddest all-time mother match-up… JOHN McCLANE (DIE HARD) VS THE DEATH STAR! Check it out on WWWF Grudge Match ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/13 "2001-10-30T15:19:27Z")
Alien & Predator vs the Olsen Twins Superman vs Urkel Granny Clampett vs Fred Sanford David Bowie vs Mick Jagger (hey, wait a minute…) Incredible Hulk vs Alex P. Keaton Rush Limbaugh vs Iron Man Shaggy vs G. Gordon Liddy Bob Dole vs Dolemite ABBA vs Ace of Base ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/14 "2001-10-30T15:25:24Z")
On the Undercard of Buffy vs. Blade: Angelus vs. Frost ---
**Author:** ![PolishSausage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@PolishSausage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PolishSausage)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/15 "2001-10-30T15:45:10Z")
Gandalf vs. Dumbledore Now were talkin’! ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/16 "2001-10-30T18:48:24Z")
Michael is taking his mistress Alex for dirty sex in an out-of-the-way motel: The Bates Motel. From the picturesque house on the hill, an immobile figure gazes out the window and notices the shilloette of two adulterers through the motel’s blinds. “Norman! Those two are commiting acts of FILTH in our motel! Get…rid…of them.” “But mother, they’re the only gests we’ve had in the past five years! We need…” “DON’T SASS ME, BOY! KILL THEM!!!” Meanwhile… “Michael, I’m carrying our child! I will NOT be IGNORED!” “Alex, take a 'lude. I’m going out for a keg-run.” As Alex stews in fury, she runs to the shower, where she hid a butcher knife. A figure in a granny outfit slides up behind her, brandishing a knife of his own… PSYCHO VS FATAL ATTRACTION…YOU DECIDE THE WINNER! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/17 "2001-10-30T19:27:42Z")
I’d of paid good money to see Blazing Saddle’s Taggert (Slim Pickens) in a log rolling contest with Gunsmoke’s Festus. Can you imagine the authentic frontier gibberish they’d sling? ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/18 "2001-10-30T20:53:08Z")
Easy Rider Rednecks vs Deliverance Rednecks Cujo vs a disgrunteled postal worker Superman and Captain Marvel vs Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine Cennobites vs the Borg Grand Admiral Thrawn vs Desslok (Star Blazers) Ultraman Vs Godzilla Sarah Connor mud wrestling Ellen Ripley Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers vs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Rambo vs the Terminator Magneto vs the Energiser Bunny Ho Chi Minh vs Che Gueverra the Corleones vs the Sopranos The Shadows (Babylon 5) vs Species 8472 (ST Voyager) the Ghost Busters vs the MIB Jeffery Dahmer vs Hannibal Lehcter Houdini vs Alcatraz The Living Dead vs The Blob The Bionic Woman vs 7 of 9 t-1000 vs Odo Ken and Ryu vs Jet Li and Chow Yun Fat ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/19 "2001-10-30T23:09:48Z")
Jet Li vs The Jets (80’s band) Hugh Borg vs Bjorn Borg Bjorn Borg vs Bjorn Ulvaeus (of ABBA) Popeye vs Tom Cruise Popeye’s Brutus vs Caeser’s Brutus Jim Morrison vs Jim on “Taxi” Tom & Jerry vs Itchy & Scratchy Spider-man vs Spider Jerusulam (“Transmetropolitan”) Gene Hackman vs ANYBODY 😃 Jesus vs Santa Claus (ooops…been done) Hitler vs Moe Howard AS Hitler David Lee Roth vs Sammy Hagar KISS vs Bread Ah-nold vs Jean-Claude van Damme Leona Helmsley vs Charles Bronson Dirty Harry vs The Pepsi Girl (I would PAY to see this) Rosie O’Donnell vs a 400lb rabid gorilla Capt. Picard vs Richard Simmons Spock vs Dr. Spock ELO vs ELO Part II (Bev Bevan MUST DIE!) Charlie Brown & Snoopy vs Calvin & Hobbes Spider Jerusulam (“Transmetropolitan”) vs Uncle Duke Olive Oyl vs Big Ethel Wolverine vs Shirley Temple The Little Rascals vs the Bowery Boys Worf vs Bugs Bunny Daffy Duck vs Donald Duck (NO contest) The Joker vs Hannibal Lechter Jim Carrey vs a 5000lb block of granite dropped from space Mariah Carey vs a 100,000,000lb block of granite dropped from Jupiter Pink Panther vs Elmer Fudd The Six Million Dollar Man vs Data ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991/20 "2001-10-31T01:00:00Z")
Daryl Strawberry vs Robert Downy Jr. Crockett & Tubbs vs Cheech & Chong BLEEP-BLEEP “Come.” “Captain, I understand you want me to pilot some new vessels. They’re…one-man fighter craft?” “Indeed, Number One. You, DS9’s Col. Kira, and Voyager’s Lt. Paris will be field testing fighter craft for use against the Dominion. Three examples are on loan from their respective governments. The Craft with the best operational envelope will secure the contract.” “What are the fighters called?” Pressing a button his desk, three holographic images floated at eye-level, rotating to provide a 360 degree view. “The Finalists are the Colonial Viper, The Republic X-Wing and the Earth-Force Star-fury.” WHICH IS THE BEST STARFIGHTER? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fantasy-fights-part-deux/89991.md?page=2)