# Fanwanks or fan theories you love (open spoilers) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 4, 2013, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148 "2013-06-04T20:11:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Fair\_Rarity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fair_rarity/32/153_2.png) [@Fair\_Rarity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fair_Rarity)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/81 "2013-06-06T02:21:28Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Either way, my point was that there’s no need for crazy fan-wank theories when a historical explanation would suffice. Oh, children have (and still do) take on serious tasks, obligations, and punishments. However, I feel that all the children in ASOIAF are too young for what we’re expected to believe consistently. Hardship and growing up too soon does not necessarily bring wisdom and maturity, which is why I need to age them up in my head to take seriously their emotional and psychological states. ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/82 "2013-06-06T03:37:15Z")
**Star Wars:** The reason why all the tech in the original trilogy is so shitty in comparison with the shiny stuff in the prequels is that before the Empire took control, the economy flourished and thus there was more money to build awesome stuff. Once the Empire started running the show, the economy tanked and everybody kept having to use the same old stuff over and over and over again (the Millennium Falcon, remember, is supposed to be a junker). **James Bond/The Avengers:** Judi Dench’s M and Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury are secretly married. And now, the cartoons… The park featured in **Regular Show** is the center of the conflict that would become known in the **Adventure Time** canon as the Mushroom War. Regular Show itself takes place roughly a century before this war. The Adult Swim show **Superjail** takes place about 200 or so years after it, and Adventure Time takes place about a thousand years after that. I wish I could take credit for any of these. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/83 "2013-06-06T04:45:11Z")
> [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > Another from Kill Bill- > The Yakuza guy that kills O-Ren’s father (not the boss, but the guy who actually kills him) in the anime flashback sequence is Bill. The character’s hair is that kind of gray/brown of a younger Caradine and there were a lot of close ups of the characters hands in that sequence and the only thing of bill you see in Vol 1 were his hands. I thought it was a cool testatment on the corrupting influence of Bill that O-Ren eventually works for the man that actually killed her father. Another fan theory I’ve read is that Bill was supposed to be a complete fraud. He claimed to be a total bad-ass to keep everyone else in line but it was all bluff - he couldn’t fight at all. That’s why the Bride was able to defeat him so easily in their climactic fight (after all her other epic fights, she was able to defeat Bill in a fight that lasted about fifteen seconds). ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/84 "2013-06-06T04:50:03Z")
_[Pontoffel Pock, Where Are You?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pontoffel_Pock,_Where_Are_You%3F)_ is an allegory for the plight of 20th-Century Jewry. Pontoffel = Jews Pontoffel’s family’s house = Eastern European shtetls Pickle factory = USA Fairies = United Nations Magical piano = travel documents / working papers Homing Pigeon Switch = Law of Return Groogen = Nazi Germany Casbahmopolis = Arab states Neefa Feefa = Palestine / Israel ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/85 "2013-06-06T05:03:31Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > The next Star Wars sequel will feature a spunk little Sith Princess with a cute animal sidekick, who goes on a journey of growth, self-discovery & inflicting pain & fear on a helpless Galaxy. > > It’s a musical. There was a musical in 1979. [“The Force and I.”](http://wardfamily.plus.com/~tim/Mad/Covers/202.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/86 "2013-06-06T06:02:29Z")
[Samurai Jack is in the future of the Powerpuff girls universe](http://hypervocal.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/9oill.jpeg). ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/87 "2013-06-06T08:26:45Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Here’s one someone came up with for an RPG: [The Holosith](http://ruscumag.wordpress.com/2010/07/25/star-wars-the-holosith/). The idea is that the reason the Sith are so hard to get rid of and keep popping up, is that people can and do learn how to be pseudo-Sith just by watching entertainment shows. Since the Dark Side is powered by emotion and will, someone Force-sensitive can make the stuff he sees an actor on a show do _actually work._ I love that theory - Sith-ness (Sithdom? Sithity?) as a memetic condition. I love the [Wold Newton universe](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wold_Newton_family) tangentially mentioned earlier. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/88 "2013-06-06T11:30:56Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > I have no idea where I originally came upon this concept, but it’s based on info from the licensed roleplaying games (yeah, yeah, suck it. :D) The idea proposed there was that the Force doesn’t play nice with machines, so the more machinery you have as part of you, the harder it is to access the Force to accomplish anything. (It was built in as a game-balancing act, to prevent a player from being both a kick-ass nearly invulnerable cyborg/droid AND having kick-ass nearly impossible to stop Jedi/Force powers.) While I don’t think this ever showed up in any of the prequels, I know it was mentioned in several of the books, making it more-or-less canon. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/89 "2013-06-06T11:45:31Z")
Q: Why didn’t the aliens in Independence Day have any sort of virus protection for their computers? A: They’re telepaths - most kinds of security are simply a foreign concept to them. They don’t have passwords or firewalls or anything like that because it’s pointless; either they don’t fight among themselves, or they’d be able to just pluck the passwords out of their opponent’s mind anyway. Or see the thoughts whomever sent the virus and just shoot them. Sneaky, underhanded tactics don’t work when everyone knows what you are thinking. IIRC, it’s semi-canon that the computer was able to interface with theirs because Apple’s OS is actually derived from the alien scout vessel. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/90 "2013-06-06T14:56:43Z")
Some fanwanks I’ve posted about before: _Robocop_ and _Max Headroom_ take place in the same universe. R2D2 was able to hack the Death Star’s systems because he had the completely plans and specs. The Borg are descended from humanoids who took being jacked into their Internet to the nth degree. All the weird cybernetic people in _He-Man_ are former prisoners of Skeletor, who underwent cruel medical experimentation in his bid to create an army of supersoldiers. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/91 "2013-06-06T15:31:42Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Star Trek’s mirror universe – where the Vulcans making first contact got killed and looted by a Terran Empire suddenly bent on interstellar lebensraum – is the alternate timeline created when Edith Keeler’s pacifism was the wrong answer to WWII. Dunno if anybody else has ever suggested this (probably), but my theory is that the Mirror Universe was created by a malevolent member of the Q Continuum, who created his own universe so he could be God there. This could actually make a good episode in some future Trek series. The Q we know (John de Lancey) recruits the cast of the new series is to help him get rid of the evil Q. At the end, they manage to kill him, which destabilizes the Mirror Universe (which only exists because he wanted it to), dooming it to collapse. This could then lead to a further episode where some of the Mirror Universe characters flee to the “real” universe to escape destruction. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingDragonFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c89c15/32.png) [@FlyingDragonFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingDragonFan)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/92 "2013-06-06T15:48:02Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > I’ve been a fan of R2D2 being a secret master of the force for a long time. The glaring problem with this is, assuming you take the prequels as canon, is that it’s established that the ability to control the Force is dependent on the users’ midichlorian content. There’s no evidence that R2 has any biological components (like Grievous), so he shouldn’t have any Force control either. (If there’s more info based on the EU, I’m not aware of it, as I’ve only read a couple of the earlier books.) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/93 "2013-06-06T15:59:57Z")
> [@FlyingDragonFan](#): > > There’s no evidence that R2 has any biological components (like Grievous) There’s evidence that a whole three-foot-eight actor was in there. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/94 "2013-06-06T16:35:14Z")
> [@FlyingDragonFan](#): > > The glaring problem with this is, assuming you take the prequels as canon, is that it’s established that the ability to control the Force is dependent on the users’ midichlorian content. There’s no evidence that R2 has any biological components (like Grievous), so he shouldn’t have any Force control either. (If there’s more info based on the EU, I’m not aware of it, as I’ve only read a couple of the earlier books.) OK, it doesn’t work once you add in the blighted trilogy. Lucas has said the reason R2 shows up so much and makes it through relatively unscathed is because the Droid’s his favorite character. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/95 "2013-06-06T17:40:20Z")
> [@FlyingDragonFan](#): > > The glaring problem with this is, assuming you take the prequels as canon, is that it’s established that the ability to control the Force is dependent on the users’ midichlorian content. There’s no evidence that R2 has any biological components (like Grievous), so he shouldn’t have any Force control either. (If there’s more info based on the EU, I’m not aware of it, as I’ve only read a couple of the earlier books.) Simple. Behind R2’s access panel 17GQ4, there is a sac of nutrient fluid in which cultured midichlorians live. I should be a writer. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/96 "2013-06-06T17:52:03Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > OK, it doesn’t work once you add in the blighted trilogy. Even in the original movie, the Force is specifically defined as an energy field “created by all living things.” That pretty strongly implies that it’s not something a droid could access. There’s a similar fan theory, however, that holds [that R2 and Chewbacca are the secret leaders of the Rebellion.](http://chcameron.tumblr.com/post/338860461/how-r2d2-and-chewbacca-were-secretly-running-the-whole) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/97 "2013-06-06T18:44:17Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Even in the original movie, the Force is specifically defined as an energy field “created by all living things.” That pretty strongly implies that it’s not something a droid could access. Yeah, and that definition is given to a beginning student by a teacher who was given to circumlocution. Still, 'twas but a passing fancy and it doesn’t hold up. (C3PO’s a cyborg, on the other hand…) The Rebellion idea is a lot more developed and interesting, so thanks for that. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/98 "2013-06-06T18:54:06Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > There’s a similar fan theory, however, that holds [that R2 and Chewbacca are the secret leaders of the Rebellion.](http://chcameron.tumblr.com/post/338860461/how-r2d2-and-chewbacca-were-secretly-running-the-whole) I’m pretty sure that’s referencing the same article from Post #42. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/99 "2013-06-06T19:53:08Z")
> [@Fair\_Rarity](#): > > Oh, children have (and still do) take on serious tasks, obligations, and punishments. However, I feel that all the children in ASOIAF are too young for what we’re expected to believe consistently. Hardship and growing up too soon does not necessarily bring wisdom and maturity, which is why I need to age them up in my head to take seriously their emotional and psychological states. I think the real reason, stated by GRRM himself, is that he just doesn’t know children very well, and admitted he made them all a little too young. What he saw in his mind was closer to what is shown on the TV series, where most of the children are aged up 3-5 years. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148/100 "2013-06-06T22:54:08Z")
I really liked the theory I saw (in _Cracked_, I think) that the monsters in _Monsters, Inc_. feared children because of the plague. Fleas jumped from the kids during the Middle Ages onto the monsters and caused them to get the plague, too. Thus the importance of not getting too close to children. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fanwanks-or-fan-theories-you-love-open-spoilers/660148.md?page=6)