# Farmer needs the fastest way to get across muddy field **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 29, 2003, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558 "2003-12-29T09:28:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mesquite-oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@Mesquite-oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mesquite-oh)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/1 "2003-12-29T09:28:57Z")
There is a farmer who wants to get across a recently tilled, thoroughly rain soaked, 1 mile wide muddy field as quickly as possible. He tries his stock pick-up truck, but it quickly sinks up to it’s axles. He can have any land vehicle in the world, with the exception of a hovercraft or a train on tracks. What should he choose? Later in the day, he has to pull a trailer with 1000 lbs of cargo across the same field as quickly as he can. If it is possible, what type of vehicle should he choose? ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/2 "2003-12-29T10:43:06Z")
Assuming the poor farmer’s [tractor](http://www.molon.de/galleries/Cambodia/SiemReaptoBKK/imagehtm/image5.htm) didn’t work, he should break out the [monster truck](http://www.truckworld.com/Shows-Events/99-hanks/99hank2.html). Or even the [miniature monster truck](http://www.git.com.au/~theedge/images/backgrounds/mudcrossing_800.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/3 "2003-12-29T10:44:03Z")
I would say something that has the maximum of surface-area contact with the ground so that the load is spread as much as possible; perhaps a vehicle with broad caterpillar tracks. ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/4 "2003-12-29T10:51:14Z")
One of [these](http://www.caf.itgo.8m.com/army_02.html) would do the job, too. Assuming he had one handy. Or one of [these](http://www.izh-avto.com/farmer/tuning/mud/). Or even one of [these](http://www.markivhonda.com/used3a.htm). ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/5 "2003-12-29T10:54:58Z")
[The Sling Ray](http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/monstergarage/episode/season1/episode_24.html) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Long\_Road](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@The\_Long\_Road](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Long_Road)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/6 "2003-12-29T11:07:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Desmostylus \* > \*\*One of [these](http://www.caf.itgo.8m.com/army_02.html) would do the job, too. Assuming he had one handy. > > Or one of [these](http://www.izh-avto.com/farmer/tuning/mud/). > > Or even one of [these](http://www.markivhonda.com/used3a.htm). \*\* Would a 4 wheeler be able to pull a 1,000 pound trailer across a muddy field? ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/7 "2003-12-29T11:10:56Z")
The Honda things? No. ---
**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/8 "2003-12-29T11:17:35Z")
I think one of [these](http://www.stripmine.org/images/spade/spade01.jpg) should do the trick 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/9 "2003-12-29T11:20:37Z")
Jesus H Christ! WTF _is_ that thing? ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/10 "2003-12-29T11:23:07Z")
And your link doesn’t work properly, **alterego**. This one should do the trick: [http://www.stripmine.org/spdeup01.htm](http://www.stripmine.org/spdeup01.htm) (And having found that, I also found out what it is). ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/11 "2003-12-29T11:25:24Z")
A hovercraft–with or without eels. ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/12 "2003-12-29T11:34:52Z")
Drop your panties, Sir William; no hovercraft allowed. See the OP. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/13 "2003-12-29T11:36:37Z")
A team of oxen. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Long\_Road](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@The\_Long\_Road](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Long_Road)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/14 "2003-12-29T11:41:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Desmostylus \* > \*\*The Honda things? No. \*\* OK, because you put the link in your post. Are you saying that it was incorrect? ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/15 "2003-12-29T11:48:18Z")
If you read the OP carefully, **The Long Road** , you’ll note that there’s two questions. The first doesn’t involve a trailer, the second one does. ---
**Author:** ![netscape\_6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8c91f0/32.png) [@netscape\_6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/netscape_6)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/16 "2003-12-29T11:55:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Desmostylus \* > \*\*Jesus H Christ! WTF _is_ that thing? \*\* a coal mining device. ---
**Author:** ![netscape\_6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8c91f0/32.png) [@netscape\_6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/netscape_6)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/17 "2003-12-29T12:01:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Desmostylus \* > \*\*Drop your panties, Sir William; no hovercraft allowed. See the OP. \*\* hovercraft hating bastards. As for the OP. I would say how about mounting a jet engine on the farmers truck? either that a high powered heater pointed at the field. ---
**Author:** ![Quint\_Essence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/54ee81/32.png) [@Quint\_Essence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint_Essence)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/18 "2003-12-29T12:28:28Z")
M1a1 ---
**Author:** ![NutMagnet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@NutMagnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutMagnet)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/19 "2003-12-29T12:28:34Z")
I would use this: [http://www.chr.ru/tractor/eng/cat9.htm](http://www.chr.ru/tractor/eng/cat9.htm) They will pretty much go through anything. I also like this version of it: [http://www.jed.simonides.org/engineer/charlie/caterpillar-d9\_series/d9-series.html](http://www.jed.simonides.org/engineer/charlie/caterpillar-d9_series/d9-series.html) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Long\_Road](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@The\_Long\_Road](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Long_Road)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/20 "2003-12-29T12:45:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Desmostylus \* > \*\*If you read the OP carefully, **The Long Road** , you’ll note that there’s two questions. The first doesn’t involve a trailer, the second one does. \*\* Really? I read it and it says nothing about having two vehicles. If you were to read the OP carefully, you would notice that it uses the term vehicle, not vehicles. How about following your own advice. Crazy shit. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558.md?page=2)