# Farmer needs the fastest way to get across muddy field **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 29, 2003, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558 "2003-12-29T09:28:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/21 "2003-12-29T12:52:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Long Road \* > \*\*Crazy shit. \*\* What exactly is your problem here, \*\*The Long Road \*\*? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Long\_Road](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@The\_Long\_Road](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Long_Road)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/22 "2003-12-29T13:14:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Desmostylus \* > \*\*What exactly is your problem here, \*\*The Long Road \*\*? \*\* I was just curious if one of the vehicles you linked to could satisfy the OP’s question. You’re the one who shot back with the BS about reading the OP carefully. If you are going to have an attitude about giving incorrect information, before you start giving that advice you should follow it. The OP clearly states "vehicle’ which is singular. If the farmer could have multiple vehicles, the author would have made it plural. ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/23 "2003-12-29T13:27:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Long Road \* > \*\*I was just curious if one of the vehicles you linked to could satisfy the OP’s question. \*\* And I answered your first curious question with a “no”. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Long Road \* > **The OP clearly states "vehicle’ which is singular. If the farmer could have multiple vehicles, the author would have made it plural.** Let’s look at the OP: > [@](#): > > He can have any land vehicle in the world, with the exception of a hovercraft or a train on tracks. **What should he choose?** _Later in the day_, he has to pull a trailer with 1000 lbs of cargo across the same field as quickly as he can. _If it is possible_, **what type of vehicle should he choose?** Two questions. The first absolute, the second contingent. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![bbeaty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c0e974/32.png) [@bbeaty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbeaty)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/24 "2003-12-29T13:31:38Z")
Two words: [Ice](http://www.technovelgy.com/ct/content.asp?Bnum=415) [Nine](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/038533348X/) ---
**Author:** ![NadaHappyCamper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/278dde/32.png) [@NadaHappyCamper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NadaHappyCamper)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/25 "2003-12-29T14:04:04Z")
How about a team of Belgian Draft horses? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/26 "2003-12-29T14:04:53Z")
[http://www.mattracks.com/](http://www.mattracks.com/) Mount these on a big pickup and you’re all set. Check out the video clips of them running through mud. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/27 "2003-12-29T14:33:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Desmostylus \* > \*\*Jesus H Christ! WTF _is_ that thing? \*\* The Jawas in the foreground are a hint. [Here is a better view](http://www.starwars.com/databank/vehicle/sandcrawler/). ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/28 "2003-12-29T16:36:26Z")
[Not a train](http://www.meggaflash.com/rocket%20photographed%20using%20PF310%20flashbulbs.htm) on tracks. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/29 "2003-12-29T16:45:47Z")
The best bet is a 4-wheel drive tractor equipped with floater tires. Floaters are specially designed to provide a huge footprint, thus spreading out the weight of the tractor as much as possible. Farmer may have to add front or rear ballast to even the weight across both axles. Towing a load is more difficult, not because the tractor wouldn’t be powerful enough to do it, but because the trailer wheels could easily sink in the mud. There may be some oversize trailer tires available (I don’t know) or the farmer may have to resort to a sled. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/30 "2003-12-29T18:23:03Z")
I suggest he gets himself two big planks and walks across for the first problem, and add a sled for the second - he’ll need to make a number of trips, of course. Failing that, one of those swamp boats like they use in the Everglades would be ideal. Of course the OP specified land vehicle, so they’re out, so how about a set of skis and a paraglide fan strapped to his back? ---
**Author:** ![Lagged2Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lagged2Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lagged2Death)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/31 "2003-12-29T20:45:39Z")
Am I the only one wondering why the farmer is in such a hurry? Is there an angry bull in this field too? Is there a real application here, or are we settling some silly conflict of boyhood fantasies (i.e., a bar bet?) [Unimog](http://www.tx4x4.com/unimog.html) trucks have quite a few fans. And it seems there are equally-rugged [trailers,](http://www.angelfire.com/ak4/johnson/UniTrailor.html) though in this case, with triple your capacity requirement. Maybe my ignorance is showing, but 1000 pounds doesn’t sound like that much. Couldn’t a heavy-duty, fat-tired pickup truck carry that right in the bed, and skip the trailer? ---
**Author:** ![KP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a9adbd/32.png) [@KP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KP)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/32 "2003-12-29T22:19:35Z")
Personally, I think it would be more sporting (and more practical) to improvise something from common rural materials. The specified terms don’t weigh _delivery time_ of “any vehicle in the world” or the complete destruction of the field by one of those strip miners. He could make pretty good speed across a muddy field by walking on flattened steel trash can lids (his boots in the handles), or he could roll a section of 5-8 ft dia. galvanized corrugated culvert pipe across the field by walking in it. A sufficient length could also transport cargo packed in 55gal drums, which could co-roll inside the pipe, held only by their ribs and the corrugations of the pipe. Some neighbors -more readily available than M1A1 tanks- could help with propulsion. These solutions require no real ‘construction’, but a ‘landraft’ of corrugated sheet metal, with pipe ‘axles’ and 55-gal can "wheels’ could be assembled and stored relatively easily for community usage Those ideas are just off the top of my head. Surely better improvised designs are possible. I have to admit that I agree with Lagged that the “snap your fingers and it’s there” bit smacks of wish fulfillment. I’d feel differently if the question were posed without a scenario: “what manned land vehicle can cross a mile of 2-ft deep mud fastest, with or without 1000lb of cargo, hovercraft excluded?” ---
**Author:** ![Paradoxical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Paradoxical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paradoxical)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/33 "2003-12-29T23:33:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Desmostylus \* > \*\*If you read the OP carefully, **The Long Road** , you’ll note that there’s two questions. The first doesn’t involve a trailer, the second one does. \*\* Desmostylus: there ARE two questions…are you republican? ---
**Author:** ![MarkD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/839c29/32.png) [@MarkD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarkD)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/34 "2003-12-29T23:41:30Z")
Farmers in my neighborhood regularly pull shitwagons full of manure that are easily over 1000 pounds through rain drenched muddy fields with a large all wheel drive tractor. The real question is how fast is as fast as possible? Money would seem to be the object. 1000 pounds is about 33% of what my car weighs, a farm tractor could drag that around in soupy slimey mud no problem. ---
**Author:** ![blasphmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@blasphmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blasphmer)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/35 "2003-12-30T01:16:49Z")
Well I’d use a heavy assault bridge instead of an A1 tank. Just looks cooler. But why not the obvious and a NMRA? mud-dragster. They race em all the time when there aren’t tractor pulls at teh county fairs. I would make a lousy farmer though, my first instinct would be to grab a blonde and go mudwrestling. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/36 "2003-12-30T01:48:43Z")
Cat Challenger MT800. 500hp. It’s a tracked farm tactor. Top working speed 9mph. Top transport speed is 24 mph. Hauling a 1000 lb trailer for something like this would not be ‘working’. So It may be able to do 20-24 mph across that field. ---
**Author:** ![Mesquite-oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@Mesquite-oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mesquite-oh)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/37 "2003-12-30T08:18:09Z")
Thanks for all of your answers. I thought for sure that someone would have developed a rocket powered mud sled by now. Sorry about the somewhat confusing question. I intended for the farmer to be able to make two different choices of vehicle (if he wanted to) at two different times during the day for two different challenges. I picked a trailer with 1000 lbs for this question because it sounded like a nice number. Why did I ask this fantasy question? Because I got stuck in the mud this weekend while driving to my super secret fishing hole. Since I almost drove over my little brother while getting out, my older brother (who is a fireman/emt/engineer) joked how long it would take a crew to get out there to put all his pieces back together again. That is what got me thinking what would be the fastest way to get across a mile or two of muck. I have seen tractors and construction equipment get stuck in the mud every once in a while (check out this tractor in the mud pic: [http://www.nodakoutdoors.com/gettingstuck.php](http://www.nodakoutdoors.com/gettingstuck.php) ), I began to wonder if there was a vehicle that was not only strong enough to go very quickly across a muddy field, but also be able to take a decent load without sinking. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558/38 "2003-12-30T08:46:54Z")
The fastest way to get across a muddy field is almost always to drive around on the road. It’s undesirable to drive across muddy fields even if you can make it, because you leave giant ruts that you’ll spend extra time tilling flat sometime later. But if you must drive across super-muddy conditions, the best bet is a [rolligon](http://www.rolligon.com/Vehicles/Bodyloads.htm). It can carry your cargo, too. The ones I’ve been around can actually float, and will cross lakes using the wheels as paddles. If you try hard, though, you can get them stuck in muskeg - so winches are standard equipment. For getting unstuck, one of the funniest things I ever saw was while planting trees in the BC interior. Some idiots had driven a suburban out into some muck and sunk it so that the entire underbody was resting on the mud. By pure chance, there was a track-hoe working on the road a couple miles away, and he came by, hooked a cable between his bucket and the truck, and lifted it out like it was a toy. If he hadn’t been there, that truck would still be sitting there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmer-needs-the-fastest-way-to-get-across-muddy-field/221558.md?page=1)