# Farmers Only dot com **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 31, 2018, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002 "2018-12-31T21:01:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/41 "2019-01-01T03:09:48Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > I feel like the greatest triumph of the internet was hooking up an aspiring cannibal with somebody who _wanted_ to be eaten. I was contacted by a German amputee fetishist once. I tried to let him down easy. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/42 "2019-01-01T04:03:33Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I was contacted by a German amputee fetishist once. I tried to let him down easy. You gotta hand it to him for trying, though. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/43 "2019-01-01T04:05:03Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I was contacted by a German amputee fetishist once. I tried to let him down easy. You could have offered him legsana. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/44 "2019-01-01T04:15:44Z")
Shortly after farmersonlydotcom became a thing, hubby and I set up an account, just to amuse ourselves. We laughed, we snorted, we recognized an awful lot of the people looking for dates. We canceled the account after receiving entirely too many extremely personal messages from rural pervs. Husband decided that, as the father of 3 daughters, his time would be better spent cleaning his guns and practicing his menacing look, if a completely innocuous anonymous account generated that kind of responseā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/45 "2019-01-01T04:22:34Z")
> [@River\_Hippie](#): > > Hell yeah thereā€™s a difference! Beautiful Ozark Mountains vs. endless flatlands covered in corn and soybeans. Sorry, wasnā€™t thinking. Have you been to extreme Southern Arkansas? Land of bogs, swamps and old Papermills. Lotsa pine trees though. And tons and tons of deer! ETA oh and the home of Bigfoot and the Legend of Boggy Creek. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/46 "2019-01-01T04:28:51Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I was contacted by a German amputee fetishist once. I tried to let him down easy. > [@Spiderman](#): > > You gotta hand it to him for trying, though. šŸ˜‰ > [@running\_coach](#): > > You could have offered him legsana. Iā€™m not sure you guys quite understand what an acrotomophiliac is interested in. Or did thinking up puns about that leave you stumped? ETA: Perhaps the internet could surpass itā€™s prior triumph by arranging a mĆ©nage Ć  trois between a cannibal, an apotemnophiliac and an acrotomophiliac. Then you could make legsana jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/47 "2019-01-01T05:36:31Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > You gotta hand it to him for trying, though. šŸ˜‰ Iā€™m clearly not reaching my target audience. I feel like a dot-com commercial during a '90s Super Bowl. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/48 "2019-01-01T05:53:53Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Iā€™m not sure you guys quite understand what an acrotomophiliac is interested in. > Or did thinking up puns about that leave you stumped? > > ETA: Perhaps the internet could surpass itā€™s prior triumph by arranging a mĆ©nage Ć  trois between a cannibal, an apotemnophiliac and an acrotomophiliac. Then you could make legsana jokes. Give us a brief overview. I donā€™t feel like googling all them big words. Please. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/49 "2019-01-01T06:06:38Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Give us a brief overview. I donā€™t feel like googling all them big words. Please. The apotemnophiliac has a body integrity disorder, wants a limb amputated. The cannibal eats the amputated limb, the acrotomophiliac is an amputee fetishist. It seems like the perfect arrangement, but Iā€™m sure some dickhead of a baker will still refuse to bake them a cake. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/50 "2019-01-01T06:13:39Z")
Hoā€“ly crap. Did not know the want to be an amputee thing. Folks is weird. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/51 "2019-01-01T06:20:56Z")
> [@River\_Hippie](#): > > One year when we were camping at Longpool, we went to Russellville in search of a bar. Arkansas law, at the time, dictated that you had to be a member of the establishment to buy alcohol. So the way it worked was that one member of our party bought a membership and the rest of us were his guests. Worked out to a reasonable cover charge for each of us. > > We partied with a bachelorette party with some very attractive girls, several of which had a wad of tobacco in their cheek and a spit cup while also smoking cigarettes. And they were a feisty bunch! > > A couple guys in our group started making some moves, local boys noticed and disapproved. We were forced to retreat. > > Ahhhā€¦good times. How long ago was this? I have been in the whitest redneck joints in the country and I have yet to see a woman younger than age 70 chew or dip tobacco. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/52 "2019-01-01T12:58:55Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > but Iā€™m sure some dickhead of a baker will still refuse to bake them a cake. Whatā€™s wrong with a tiramisu made with Ladyfingers? ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/53 "2019-01-01T16:34:40Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > How long ago was this? I have been in the whitest redneck joints in the country and I have yet to see a woman younger than age 70 chew or dip tobacco. 1990s, probably the early 90s. It was a bachelorette party maybe they were just acting crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/54 "2019-01-01T17:13:24Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > You remembered it, so it worked. Shit Advertising Agencies Say. From anyone else besides Madison Avenue, this would be ā€œWell, you wonā€™t actually get paid but just think of the _exposure!_ā€ ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/55 "2019-01-01T18:11:51Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > ETA oh and the home of Bigfoot and the Legend of Boggy Creek. There has got to be a Charlie Daniels song about Boggy Creek Dennis ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/56 "2019-01-01T20:02:00Z")
> [@mixdenny](#): > > There has got to be a Charlie Daniels song about Boggy Creek > > Dennis **Drive-By Truckers** have a song that mentions your beloved Russlleville. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/57 "2019-01-01T21:45:35Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > **Drive-By Truckers** have a song that mentions your beloved Russlleville. And Texarkana. Arkansas attracts all the high class song writers. Some even live here.šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/58 "2019-01-01T22:16:40Z")
Hood moved to Portland! :eek: Can you believe that shit? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2019, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002/59 "2019-01-01T22:21:56Z")
Hey there is a strange song called Boggy Creek. It must be from that movie. I canā€™t share it. I ainā€™t no member of that shit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farmers-only-dot-com/827002.md?page=2)