# Fart vs. turd?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fart-vs-turd/61407>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [April 10, 2001, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fart-vs-turd/61407 "2001-04-10T00:25:26Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 8\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![City\_Gent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a87d85/32.png) [@City\_Gent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/City_Gent)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fart-vs-turd/61407/1 "2001-04-10T00:25:26Z")

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Pardon the excursion into crudity, but does anyone know how your rectum knows the difference between a fart and a turd? 'Cause if it didn’t, there’d be either a lot less farting or a lot more crapped pants in the world.

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**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fart-vs-turd/61407/2 "2001-04-10T01:56:46Z")

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Puff your cheeks up with air. Now fill your mouth with hamburger meat.

Feel a difference?

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**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fart-vs-turd/61407/3 "2001-04-10T03:24:55Z")

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Gasses are compressible. Solids and liquids are not. Solids and liquids are also usually much heavier than gasses.

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**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fart-vs-turd/61407/4 "2001-04-10T03:46:27Z")

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Farts aren’t lumpy

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**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fart-vs-turd/61407/5 "2001-04-10T04:05:18Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Turbo Dog \*  
> \*\*Farts aren’t lumpy \*\*

Speak for yourself. (splurt) pardon

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**Author:** ![Major\_Feelgud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3be4f8/32.png) [@Major\_Feelgud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Major_Feelgud)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fart-vs-turd/61407/6 "2001-04-10T07:08:05Z")

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Your rectum doesn’t know nothing. Your brain directs your rectum.

You or your brain can tell if it’s a fart or a turd in your rectum. If it’s a fart you let it rip. If it’s a turd, you hold it in.

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**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fart-vs-turd/61407/7 "2001-04-10T07:50:51Z")

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Um, this is kinda gross, but I can also tell the difference between solid and liquid before it ‘makes it’s appearance’.

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**Author:** ![Dani\_Filth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dani\_Filth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dani_Filth)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2001, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fart-vs-turd/61407/8 "2001-04-10T10:57:05Z")

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To quote George Carlin: “Farts are just shit without the mess!”

😃

-Dani