# Farting and other fun bodily functions!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [December 17, 1999, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175 "1999-12-17T01:08:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/1 "1999-12-17T01:08:00Z")
Hey, why is this such a big deal? Everyone farts… why are people so uptight about it?
It’s usually one of the last barriers that comes down when you are dating. You know, that first time you fart around your SO: That is a MAJOR hurdle. You know it’s love when you can fart around each other and not die of embarrassment. It’s even better, IMHO, when you can laugh about it. (Wonder Twin Powers, Activate!)
To this day I have friends of 10 years that STILL cannot fart around me… They are horrified beyond what is normal when they stink up the bathroom… why is this so hard for most people?
We all belch, fart and shit. And yeah, that little song refrain runs through my mind, “Only women bleed…” Another thing that just tweaks people out. Why? It’s so basic, so human… why are these things the source of so much embarrassment?
Post your thoughts about belching, farting or taking a dump… I’m easily entertained (fucking obviously) so have at it!
* * *
Best!
Byz
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### Author:  [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/2 "1999-12-17T01:19:00Z")
It’s Guy Stuff - The Sequal !!
_BELCH_
_FART_
_CRAP_
Woo-hoo !!
## Embarrassed ? Moi ? Jamais !
Coldfire
* * *
“You know how complex women are”
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
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### Author:  [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/3 "1999-12-17T03:14:00Z")
My ex- must’ve either:
Felt pretty secure around me, or
Didn’t give a damn about me, because
she farted in bed.
Some degrees of closeness I can do without.
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### Author:  [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/4 "1999-12-17T03:19:00Z")
I’d try to sort out the romantic and philosophical issues, but I’m still reeling from the mental image of Coldfire in the midst of intensive fluff maintenance.
Maybe after I’ve had some sleep…
Back to the OP, folks.
Veb
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### Author:  [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/5 "1999-12-17T05:05:00Z")
I can think of many, many bodily functions I’d just as soon people kept to themselves, farting not first among them. In fact, I’d like to see a few _more_ taboos come into their own. Blowing one’s nose, for instance, especially when people are eating. It’s so … _graphic_.
Catrandom
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### Author:  [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/6 "1999-12-17T06:23:00Z")
This is my lie and I’ll tell it my way thank you very much !
I would never fart or belch around Lion, I am just too shy a woman to even discuss such things.
HE however has been known to fart in bed and pull the covers over my head so I can’t escape. He is rude.
I am sweet and innocent.
* * *
Ayesha - Lioness
* * *
There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine
(Thomas A. Edison)
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### Author:  [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/7 "1999-12-17T06:39:00Z")
Ayesha – well, shit howdy, woman! I belched around you at the get together in Houston… were you like really shocked? Horrified? Fuck me running but damn, those beers were good and it was either belch at that moment or fart later in the car… I thought I, being the lady that I am, took the higher road. 😉
* * *
Best!
Byz
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### Author:  [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/8 "1999-12-17T12:50:00Z")
Well Byz, I gotta tell ya, since you asked, taking that big ole dump in the morning is probably the most satisfying thing I do every day. But it’s better if I rip off a good string of farts first. It’s best to relieve a bit of pressure before ya get down to the serious business.
Is that what you wanted to hear?
* * *
“There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.”
~P.J. O’Rourke~
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### Author:  [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/9 "1999-12-17T13:41:00Z")
It’s one thing to release the green mist and chase you friends out of the room.
It’s another to chase yourself out of the room.
There was one time one of my best friends farted something so foul, he chased his **dog** out of the room.
Juvenile, fucken’ A!
**BRAAAAPT!!!**
Aahhh. I think I’ll name that one “Horus”.
* * *
You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing.
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### Author:  [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/10 "1999-12-17T15:57:00Z")
I’m not uptight about farts. I think they are very funny!!! Must be a fart faq written describing the types of farts there are!
Dutch oven: Fart and pull the blankets over the person next to you in bed. Isn’t that funny?
Oh, for those wondering:
1fart "fart\ [ME ferten, farten; akin to OHG ferzan to break wind, ON freta, Gk perdesthai, Skt pardate he breaks wind] (13c)
verb intransitive
: to expel intestinal gas from the anus — often considered vulgar
©1996 Zane Publishing, Inc. and Merriam-Webster, Incorporated. All rights reserved.
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### Author:  [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/11 "1999-12-17T17:11:00Z")
Byz,
Re-read the first line of my first post.
Of course I fart around lion, but I always say excuse me, of course my farts don’t stink.
* * *
Ayesha - Lioness
* * *
There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine
(Thomas A. Edison)
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### Author:  [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/12 "1999-12-17T17:33:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> damn, those beers were good and it was either belch at that moment or fart later in the car… I thought I, being the lady that I am, took the higher road.
Sheeeeeeit! It’s more like “I didn’t want to fart in the car because I knew Sealemon would kick my ass out and make me walk!”
The _only_ person who gets to add aroma to my car is _me_.
P.S. to Ayesha, Lion, Byz, and beatle: I’m still smiling over that meeting, y’all.
* * *
You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing.
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### Author:  [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/13 "1999-12-17T17:39:00Z")
I am notorious for burping and farting. Especially when I’m talking on the phone with my friends. They all seem to get a kick out of it. I’m not very shy though.
Sometimes after I burp I say, “Cheated my ass out of that one.”
I also heard something today that I thought was pretty funny… “Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it!”
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### Author:  [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/14 "1999-12-17T17:41:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it!
Or after belching you can say, “Damn, I don’t remember eating that!”
* * *
“There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.”
~P.J. O’Rourke~
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### Author:  [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)
#### Post date: [December 18, 1999, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/15 "1999-12-18T06:43:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Everyone farts… why are people so uptight about it?
I dunno. Seems counter productive, as tightning up will only serve to make them louder. As my dear old Pappy says, “More room out than in!”.
* * *
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik
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### Author:  [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)
#### Post date: [December 18, 1999, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/16 "1999-12-18T06:53:00Z")
So now you admit it was you gagging us in the car that night Sealemon.
I thought so, man your’s do stink ! 😉
Yeah, I had a good time too execpt in the car. My nose still hasn’t recovered
* * *
Ayesha - Lioness
* * *
There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine
(Thomas A. Edison)
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### Author:  [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/17 "1999-12-17T19:33:00Z")
Other fun things to say in the wake of a burp or fart (choose the most appropriate one based on the length, tone and timber of the eructation/gaseous expulsion)
“Did somebody step on a duck?”
“Watch out everyone…there’s a barking spider in the room!”
“must be a barge passing through.”
“Auntie Em! Auntie Em! It’s a twister!”
* * *
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
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### Author:  [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/18 "1999-12-17T20:02:00Z")
A quote for either a post belch or post barf situation: “Man, that suuuuure tasted better going down!”
Ayesha: Blame La Porte, armpit of East Texas, for that smell. Trust me, you’d know if it had been me.
* * *
You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing.
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### Author:  [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/19 "1999-12-17T20:08:00Z")
An ex boyfriend of mine wouldn’t fart in front of me, and he hated to even do so in a bathroom within hearing distance. When he absolutely had to, he’d say, “Sorry, I stepped on a frog in here.”
(I miss you, Dick)
* * *
Insert Random Witticism Here.
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### Author:  [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)
#### Post date: [December 17, 1999, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-and-other-fun-bodily-functions/12175/20 "1999-12-17T21:48:00Z")
UncleBeer – yep, that’s what I wanted to read. I’m so easily entertained! One question though… do you read in the bathroom? If so, what do you read?
Ayesha – you don’t fart! The Lion does all the farting for you two, I know. Remember? I sat NEXT to him! 😉
Sealemon88 – you DID kick me out of the car! I think the whole reason I had to go into the 7-11 with Lion and Beatle was so you and Ayesha could fart! I thought it WAS the chemical plants in La Porte but now I know it was the chemical plant in your shorts! 😉
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