# Farting Federal Employee gets Written Reprimand. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 22, 2012, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808 "2012-12-22T04:09:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/1 "2012-12-22T04:09:17Z")
Who was the anal retentive jerk that logged every fart? Maybe they could get some office work done instead of harassing this guy. Buy a scented candle for gosh sakes. [Five page reprimand for farting.](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/coworkers-attacked-by-gas-645132) That stinks. 😛 > [@](#): > > After stating that, “It is my belief that you can control this condition,” the author of the reprimand letter then noted, “The following dates show the time of your flatulence.” What followed was a log listing 17 separate dates (and 60 specific times) on which the employee passed gas. For example, the man’s September 19 output included nine instances of flatulence, beginning at 9:45 AM and concluding at 4:30 PM. > > The man was also accused of launching a trio of attacks on September 11. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/2 "2012-12-22T04:19:55Z")
My WAG (pun not intended, d’oh) is that he was “crop-dusting” people’s desks/cubicles or otherwise dropping the stink bombs in such a way as to gas people out intentionally. And since the federal government probably frowns on cramming activated charcoal up a coworker’s ass, you have to document adverse workplace conditions instead. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/3 "2012-12-22T04:30:31Z")
I have to believe that the employee was making an aggressive game out of farting. I doubt that anyone would take the trouble to make that detailed a documentation unless it truly was a problem. Obviously, it was more than a couple of “Oops, pardon me,” moments. Reprimanded employee deserved it. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/4 "2012-12-22T04:42:31Z")
I believe this calls for the tried and true smelt it/dealt it defense. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/5 "2012-12-22T05:05:30Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Who was the anal retentive jerk that logged every fart? There has got to be a bean-counter joke in there somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/6 "2012-12-22T05:07:39Z")
Why is he wearing shorts in that photo with Pepe Le Pew? He should be wearing charcoal pants. I wish there was no photo. It’s smell-o-vision. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/7 "2012-12-22T05:12:40Z")
I can’t believe I just read that whole thing. His excuse from the summarized article was “lactose intolerance.” Well, then stop consuming lactose, dumbass. I had this weirdo coworker once who I think was not just intolerant of lactose but allergic. She would eat stuff with cheese in it anyway, and within 30 minutes or so would start puking. She seemed to think it was no big deal. Uh, really, the people who have to be around you in this big room really don’t want to see you hurling into random trash cans, don’t care how unobtrusively you think you’re doing it, Grossie Josie. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/8 "2012-12-22T05:24:49Z")
He should have just said that work gives him the vapours and he’s simply providing his own smelling salts. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/9 "2012-12-22T07:34:10Z")
ROFL, My stepson is good in that area. He once had a letter sent home from the school principal requesting he not be fed eggs for breakfast anymore after he cleared the classroom on more than 1 occasion. 😃 He moved in with me for 6 months a few years back when his relationship broke up and he needed somewhere to live. I like chilli and curry’s and also like salad. he would take leftovers to work for lunch, which is a habit I’ve been in for years. The breaking point for his workmates was a salad combining (among other things) chick peas, egg and chilli. I picked him up from work and he had a real sheepish look when he told me his workmates didn’t like my cooking. They had to open the roller door on a freezing cold day to air the place out.:D:cool: ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/10 "2012-12-22T08:19:33Z")
Have these people never heard of Beano? ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/11 "2012-12-22T08:36:13Z")
Are people who produce copious amounts of flatus a protected class? ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/12 "2012-12-22T10:22:19Z")
In the workplace their arses are covered. Though who knows what noisome and nauseating nudity they get up to at home. ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/13 "2012-12-22T11:12:19Z")
> [@voltaire](#): > > I believe this calls for the tried and true smelt it/dealt it defense. I think the Supplied it/Denied it prosecution case would outweigh that… ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/14 "2012-12-22T17:13:27Z")
My first supervisor was a System Analyst and I was his rookie programmer. This dude loved to cut farts when he got bored in a meeting with his programmers. Ended the discussion pretty quick. Farts I can tolerate. Walking into the office bathroom when someone is taking a dump is too much. I’ve retreated several times literally gagging and trying not to throw up. I wonder sometimes how the paint stays on the walls. ---
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/15 "2012-12-22T17:39:27Z")
Here’s the tale of the [farting dentist](http://www.courtnewsuk.co.uk/surreal/?id=59), in which we see a noxious assembly of antisocial and unproffesional behaviour. > [@](#): > > A farting dentist who stank out his surgery with his evil-smelling flatulence has been struck off.Matthew Walton, 35, found it hilarious to blow off next to colleagues when they were trying to eat their lunch, the General Dental Council heard. > > Staff were so disgusted by Walton’s behaviour in the surgery they had to walk out. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/16 "2012-12-22T18:16:29Z")
Thank God I have a job in a right to fart workplace. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/17 "2012-12-22T20:40:50Z")
Ah. A right to work fartplace. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/18 "2012-12-22T21:32:56Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > My first supervisor was a System Analyst and I was his rookie programmer. This dude loved to cut farts when he got bored in a meeting with his programmers. Ended the discussion pretty quick. How in the world did he cut loose on demand? I personally find it very painful to not vent gas. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/19 "2012-12-22T21:43:58Z")
I used to work in a lab full of fume hoods. Never had to worry about this sort of thing. I miss those fume hoods. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808/20 "2012-12-22T22:28:56Z")
If they had to get to the “document” point, then the employee had been spoken to any number of times and failed or refused to do anything about their chronic flatulence. This is not a ‘protected class’. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farting-federal-employee-gets-written-reprimand/644808.md?page=2)