# Farts **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 12, 1999, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984 "1999-07-12T23:08:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 1999, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/1 "1999-07-12T23:08:00Z")
Here goes… Why do small silent farts smell worse than large not so silent farts? * * * no matter where you go…there you are ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 1999, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/2 "1999-07-12T23:51:00Z")
More solids? 🙂 This question seems familiar. Peace, mangeorge * * * Work like you don’t need the money… Love like you’ve never been hurt… Dance like nobody’s watching! …Unknown ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 1999, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/3 "1999-07-13T00:06:00Z")
Now what about them Hershey Squirts? They have to be raunchiest of them all. Damn things leave racing stripes to you shorts too, for continued enjoyment at the later date! * * * Cogito Ergo Vroom I think therefore I ride fast… ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 1999, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/4 "1999-07-13T10:44:00Z")
Stand well clear of magnetic instruments Hannu, you may be a hazard to navigation 🙂 * * * It only hurts when I laugh. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 1999, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/5 "1999-07-14T00:12:00Z")
I’m deaf, so all farts are silent. But they smell so deaf people can enjoy them too!!! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 1999, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/6 "1999-07-14T00:36:00Z")
Maybe because the big ones have more air? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 1999, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/7 "1999-07-14T03:53:00Z")
Silent or loud, the smell depends on the fuel. A little wind powered by sauerkraut can empty an elevator in seconds. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 1999, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/8 "1999-07-14T14:12:00Z")
Anything with tomato sauce gives my brother “greasy” farts. They are the most vile things you can imagine! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 1999, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/9 "1999-07-14T14:27:00Z")
God, this thread is gross…but you notice I’m still here! My dad raised me to appreciate the humor inherent in a little intestinal gas, my husband thinks othewise (spoil sport). Beans, beans, the musical fruit… 😃 * * * …it has never been my way to bother much about things which you can’t cure. - A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court-Mark Twain ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 1999, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/10 "1999-07-14T14:28:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Damn things leave racing stripes to you shorts too, for continued enjoyment at the later date! Gee, I always called them skid marks. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 1999, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/11 "1999-07-14T14:50:00Z")
BunnyGirl, didn’t they de-fart beans years back? You know they make them so they don’t make people fart, at least not as much. Boy you should have been around in 60’s now there were some big bean farts. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 1999, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/12 "1999-07-14T15:06:00Z")
Boy, I’m AMAZED that loverock hasn’t weighed in on this thread yet. Come on, son, we need your wisdom! * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 1999, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/13 "1999-07-15T05:07:00Z")
I have a theory on silent=stinky loud=not as bad. When you hear a large fart you usually decide to stop breathing through your nose. However if you don’t have advance warning the smell catches you by suprise. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 1999, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/14 "1999-07-15T05:47:00Z")
Thirsty, great theory! Unfortunately, my dad must be some kind of anomoly to the whole loud=not smelly and silent=deadly theory. You have to run from the room before he even **thinks** of farting, they’re so bad. Can you say “Pabst Blue Ribbon beer fart”? We’re hoping for his eventual recovery someday from RND (Red-Neck Disease). Handy, maybe it was all the hippies in the 60’s going vegetarian. I think I read in a different thread somewhere that vegetarian farts are the worst!!! All those simple sugars…Hey, did you know that Michigan is the largest producer of navy beans in the US? What a great state to be in! * * * …it has never been my way to bother much about things which you can’t cure. - A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court-Mark Twain ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 1999, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/15 "1999-07-15T04:00:00Z")
Soak the beans! Soak 'em overnight and pour the soak water down the drain. If you have time, soak the beans again and dispose of second soak water, too. Any other advice to de-wind anything gladly accepted. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 1999, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/16 "1999-07-15T04:22:00Z")
There is an herb called epizota (sp?) which will de-gas beans. My mother not only swears by it, she grows it and give out jars to everyone who gets near her. Use sparingly, it doesn’t need much for the effect & the taste is strong. And if you can remember - take beano before the meal. * * * Mastery is not perfection but a journey, and the true master must be willing to try and fail and try again ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 1999, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/17 "1999-07-15T21:14:00Z")
There are substances that will completely destroy the silence/lethalness correlation. Asparagus schnapps, for example. Only flatulation I’ve been completely, utterly, God-I-wish-I-could-crawl-in-a-hole-and-die embarrassed by. * * * Cave Diem! Carpe Canem! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 1999, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/18 "1999-07-15T21:28:00Z")
Where on earth did you come by Asparagus Schnapps? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 1999, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/19 "1999-07-15T21:31:00Z")
Asparagus schnapps makes your pee stink. Some tradeoff! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 1999, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984/20 "1999-07-16T01:53:00Z")
There’s a product on the market called “Beano”. It works. Peace, mangeorge [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/farts/1984.md?page=2)