# Fashion Police: Who Should Be Sentenced To Life Without Parole? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 4, 2004, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098 "2004-09-04T07:22:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/61 "2004-09-07T06:22:29Z")
> [@vl\_mungo](#): > > Sorry… my comment was directed at men and the suburban accountant on holiday (or Ned Flanders) look. > You and your boobs can carry on, ma’am. I’m overweight so I don’t tuck my shirt in since it would accentuate my stomach but how is tucking a t-shirt into a pair of jeans unfashionable? It looks just fine to me. ---
**Author:** ![chaparralv8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@chaparralv8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaparralv8)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/62 "2004-09-07T11:02:10Z")
My rule is simple: Anybody who’s showing off a body that really shouldn’t be shown off. Guys: if you’re over your football weight, you should probably try to hide this. Gals: if you don’t get stared at in jeans and a T-shirt, don’t wear anything that makes people stare at you. ---
**Author:** ![chaparralv8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@chaparralv8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaparralv8)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/63 "2004-09-07T19:11:59Z")
Oh yeah, guys, just because your football position was defensive tackle doesn’t excuse you. If it’s not in shape to be seen in public, don’t show it. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/64 "2004-09-07T19:58:45Z")
[White Shoes](http://2sexylingerie.com/catalog/product_info.php?name=Classic%20White&products_id=437) ew. Canoes people. Her feet look like canoes. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/65 "2004-09-07T19:59:13Z")
Since I’m going down for my gotee and day glow hair (working with my masters at a fortune 5 company, bay-bee!), I’m taking sweats down with me. Nothing says “I’m too lazy to dress” than sweats. Athletes are excepted from this ruling. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/66 "2004-09-07T20:45:28Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > A tie looks just fine with a nice button-up shirt (and I admit I sometimes make it SHORT SLEEVED :eek: ), and either khakis or dark slacks. Not wearing a jacket, IMO, is no longer a fashion _faux paus_. The problem though, is that without the jacket you look like a store clerk. The psychological reason that might justify wearing the tie don’t work unless you’re wearing the whole power suit. > [@](#): > > Oh, and **START** , I assume you mean men under 30? Because many women under 30 look just fine in shorter shorts. And I don’t mean shorts that barely, if at all, cover their ass. I just mean shorts that end above the knee. Not to belabor this, but if the same statements keep coming up, then I’m going to respond as I have before. As evidenced by several threads in the not-too-distant past, a lot of guys are sick of their only shorts option being baggy kneelength or longer styles. For one thing, they’re what I like to call “fitness reversed”: the more out of shape you are, the better they look on you. That basically sucks when you are in shape. IMO, of course. As for the women, I definitely like to see them in shorter shorts, too! ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/67 "2004-09-08T01:15:02Z")
Thank Heavens I am self assured enough that I don’t NEED to worry about fashion. Nor do I care what people think of my ponytail hanging down my back through my cap. And I like my hubby’s goatee… God some people need lives. ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/68 "2004-09-08T01:24:05Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > Oh, my God! I saw this last night! We were driving out of Fridays and it was really dark. There was some kid walking across the entrance to the parking lot, moseying along with one pant leg pushed up and the other down, yammering away on his cell phone. I don’t think he could have been older than 15. He was wearing dark blue wind pants with a reflective stripe on them, and it was dark enough that, with one leg pushed up, since the reflective stripe ended so abruptly, we couldn’t see his leg from the knee down - in fact, it looked like he didn’t have one. My husband was horrified. “Overly! That poor kid is missing a leg from the knee down!” :eek: > > Then as he came into the line or our headlights: “Oh, wait, he’s got his left pants leg pushed up. Why the hell would he do that? It looks stupid!” He’s telling you what gang he’s affliated with… I don’t think it’d be wise to tell him what you think of his fahion sense. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/69 "2004-09-08T01:55:10Z")
- The ass-billboards really annoy me, especially when paired with the ickiness of an exposed buttcrack and thong. Why do you want your butt to be juicy? And now I see “Yo! Juicy” on butts. The butts are calling to each other now? Help! - Combovers. Dude, you’re _bald_. Accept it. Polish up that cue ball and strut! Because those seven hairs carefully swept across the glistening plain of your cranium are not fooling anybody. - Velour jogging suits should be illegal. I saw a 60-something woman shopping in a Pepto-bismol pink velour jogging suit last week. It hurt. - Extra-long fake nails with little dangly rings or gems in them. That’s just weird. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/70 "2004-09-08T02:23:47Z")
The jeans and sneakers with shirt and ties look just screams, “Supermarket Stockboy” I’ve seen the dress over pants look work-once, a lovely mini cheong-sam with a pair of close fitting boot flare black slacks. Lovely. Oh, and men? Lose the Zubas. Please. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/71 "2004-09-08T03:54:25Z")
> [@Daftbugger](#): > > I’m afraid I do stick my ponytail out the back of my baseball cap (the few times I wear it) because its really uncomfortable any other way. Same here. I’d bet most of us who do it don’t do it to look “cute,” but because it’s practical–having a cap on with my hair down, it gets all over the back of my neck, so I prefer it in a ponytail, and trying to put the cap over the ponytail without pulling it through the back gets it all bunched up underneath the hat. I’m frankly baffled that anybody finds it such a fashion faux pas. ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/72 "2004-09-08T04:39:46Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Oh, and men? Lose the Zubas. Please. What are Zubas? ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/73 "2004-09-08T05:08:50Z")
> [@don't ask](#): > > I think I am disqualified as a fashion judge. A couple of years ago when the jeans with faded patches on the thighs first came in to fashion I saw a woman wearing a pair as I left the train station. To save her embarrasment I approached her and told her that she seemd to have sat on wet paint. She pithly replied “Fuck off dickhead” and when I later noticed other women wearing similarly vandalized jeans I understood my mistake. They still to this day look remarkably silly to me. I have reasonably good taste, and I agree that they look just absolutely ridiculous. You have enough style not to believe that something so stupid must somehow look good just because it’s fashionable. > [@START](#): > > people that wear tighty whiteys and sag their pants both are cool in my opinion just not at the same time, > > once again sagging is ok but when wearing a suit it’s just stupid No. No it’s not ok. And guys? Wearing a baseball cap as part of your normal wardrobe is fine if you’re eleven. Any older, and you’re going to fashion jail, honey. If it’s turned backwards, you get the death penalty. Christ. Oh, and add me in to the loud chorus that’s saying, “Ladies, shapely or no, I don’t need to see any part of your underwear while you’re dressed.” Especially if you’re standing up straight. The undies should not be peeking above the pants line. And fashion death penalty for the girls who show ass-crack when they bend over. Remember when everyone used to make fun of plumbers for doing that? No, sweetheart, it hasn’t started looking good just because Paris Hilton does it. ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/74 "2004-09-08T08:23:17Z")
> [@START](#): > > Yeh I should clarify that…yes males under 30. The females look just fine in short shorts. 😉 I don’t see anything wrong with males under 30 wearing shorts that end above the knee. Richard Simmons, on the other hand… ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/75 "2004-09-08T13:13:54Z")
> [@Already in Use](#): > > I don’t see anything wrong with males under 30 wearing shorts that end above the knee. Richard Simmons, on the other hand… Well of course…in the 1980s nearly everyone would have agreed with you that Richard Simmons’ shorts were _way_ too short. But the different thing then was that, what we considered “normal”, for working out and running, was not very much longer than that at all. And outside the gym, regular shorts meant to be worn as casual street attire were much shorter than today. I’m surprised you even know who Simmons is. Is he still around? ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/76 "2004-09-08T13:16:28Z")
> [@Spectre of Pithecanthropus](#): > > I’m surprised you even know who Simmons is. Is he still around? Sorry, **AIU**. I misread your post, I thought I was talking to START. ---
**Author:** ![MinniePurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@MinniePurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MinniePurl)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/77 "2004-09-08T14:30:42Z")
> [@Krisfer the Cat](#): > > Thank Heavens I am self assured enough that I don’t NEED to worry about fashion. Nor do I care what people think of my ponytail hanging down my back through my cap. And I like my hubby’s goatee… > > God some people need lives. Also, if it’s windy, the ponytail through the back of the cap helps keep it from blowing away. Does anyone besides the OP actually have an unfavorable opinion on this? I have never heard anyone else say this. ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/78 "2004-09-08T23:26:42Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Really old men who dye their hair jet black. They look like vampires. When yer older than God, people will accept gray or white hair. That low rent Goth look is not working. I saw a really spectacular example of this last night. Jet black hair, a good inch or more of white roots, and a prominent bald spot in the middle. Frightening. ---
**Author:** ![seosamh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@seosamh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seosamh)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/79 "2004-09-08T23:59:37Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > Combovers. In England, a comb-over is often known as a “Bobby Charlton” after a famous footballer of the 50s/60/70s who sported one. Or, if you’re French, a Valery Giscard D’Estaing. I’ve been a slaphead myself since I was 18, so I can speak with some authority. Even worse: **WIGS** (aka “syrups”). Whom are you trying to kid?? May I add those trousers which finish mid-calf, as sported by blokes? Absolutely hideous. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098/80 "2004-09-09T18:12:26Z")
For the slip-wearers out there (Mom, is that you?) - don’t you have problems with lower-waisted skirts? I can’t stand how slips stay at your waist and your skirt starts a few inches lower. Even if nobody can see it, it’s awful - and it always manages to blouse up, too. Ick! Can you buy low-waisted slips now, is that it? I wouldn’t be surprised if all mine were ten years old at least, as I never wear them except in absolute necessity. If they were more suitable to my wardrobe, however (like, they didn’t start at my waist) maybe I’d wear them more often, as they do help things hang better. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fashion-police-who-should-be-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/263098.md?page=5)