# Fat people who order salads **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 10, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786 "2005-03-10T03:47:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/1 "2005-03-10T03:47:58Z")
Ok, I’m not the world’s skinniest person by any means… I’m about 6’0’’, and 245#. I walk into Subway and ask for a Veggie Delight salad. Sandwich Artist: :dubious: ::starts putting lettuce on:: Me: Can I get half lettuce and half spinach? Artist: :dubious: 😕 Me: And I’d like (list of vegetables.) Artist: Dressing? Me: Ranch Artist: Tell me when there’s eno- Me: Stop! Artist: :dubious: … I mean, I don’t necessarily eat salads because I think they’re amazing for me or anything. I eat them because I like them. Is it that incongruous to see fat people buying salads? ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/2 "2005-03-10T03:52:12Z")
Um, what? ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/3 "2005-03-10T04:34:42Z")
## Well, maybe the Sandwich Artist wasn’t giving you funny looks because you were buying a salad. Maybe he (she? they?) just thought you were a famous person. (_doodly-doop doodly-doop doodly-doop doodly-doop_) you: I’d like a Veggie Delight please. Inside SA’s head: Wow! Burl Ives!..in my store? :dubious: you: Can I get half lettuce and half spinach? Inside SA’s head: Waaaitaminit… Burl Ives is dead, I think. Isn’t he? :dubious: 😕 you: And I’d like (list of vegetables.) Sandwich Artist: Dressing? Inside SA’s head: He did the planet voice in the Transformers movie… you: Ranch. Inside SA’s head:…and I think that was his last role before he died. So this guy can’t really be Burl Ives. Sandwich Artist: Tell me when there’s eno- you: Stop! Inside SA’s head: Woops, got distracted…HEY, that was Orson Welles in the Transformers movie - so when did Burl Ives die? :dubious: Note: the above post is entirely in jest. I doubt sincerely that **chaoticdonkey** actually looks like Burl Ives. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/4 "2005-03-10T04:55:07Z")
Ask him to sing “Goober Peas” and we’ll see if he sounds like him. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/5 "2005-03-10T05:01:24Z")
Maybe younger, and less bearded. (although I haven’t shaved in a few days, so I have spotty homeless-beard.) ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/6 "2005-03-10T05:11:34Z")
And naturally, if you’d ordered a McFatburger with Fries, you’d get everyone on your case in five seconds. Can’t win for losing, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Martin\_Hyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Martin\_Hyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martin_Hyde)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/7 "2005-03-10T05:28:10Z")
One time I was I went to a Burger King with a friend of mine. My friend is 6’5" and weighs about 320 pounds. He orders a list of things and at the end he asks for a small coke. The person at the register goes, “Oh, a small coke.” My friend didn’t do it because of any desire to “cut back” he just did it because he knew exactly what he wanted and had only a few cents more in cash than what he wanted cost, so he got the small so it’d fit in perfectly with the cash in his wallet. He was _less_ than pleased with that comment and made it known to the cashier immediately. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/8 "2005-03-10T13:34:40Z")
Hey, stop trying to hijack the thread away from what’s really important: that **chaoticdonkey** really looks like Burl Ives. 😃 He was probably surprised that **anyone** went for the healthy option. A rail-thin string-bean of a man would probably get the same reaction there. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/9 "2005-03-10T13:41:01Z")
I think anyone who eats salad should get a :dubious:. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/10 "2005-03-10T13:41:08Z")
_stopmotionly twirls about_ Silver and gold! Silver and gold! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/11 "2005-03-10T13:58:24Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > _stopmotionly twirls about_ > > Silver and gold! Silver and gold! Whoa – I’ve met **jayjay** – and – whoa. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/12 "2005-03-10T14:05:58Z")
Heh, looking back at this thread in the AM makes me wonder why I posted it. I guess I thought it was funny then or something. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/13 "2005-03-10T14:16:34Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > Heh, looking back at this thread in the AM makes me wonder why I posted it. I guess I thought it was funny then or something. I don’t know. I’m still imagining Orson Welles doing a Subway commerical. That’s pretty funny, in the sad kind of way that accompanied Mr. Welles’ final years. “At Subway, we will make no sandwich…before its time.” Stranger ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/14 "2005-03-10T14:21:27Z")
Here I was all ready to get mad and say, “They can’t order salads 'cuz they’re fooling themselves! They can’t order a donut 'cuz they’re fooling themselves! What can they eat?” _grumbles_ Nothing to get mad about. Nobody’s pitting fat people here… _kicks can_ _wanders off_ ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/15 "2005-03-10T15:21:34Z")
I don’t usually eat at Subway, and wasn’t really familiar with the term before, but do you think it’s possible I could go to a Subway and have a sandwich made by the Sandwich Artist Formerly Known as Prince? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/16 "2005-03-10T15:30:40Z")
While we’re on the subject, I just love those folks who smirk when you order a Diet Coke with your cheeseburger. Hey, asshole, ever hear of diabetes? Pray that you never have firsthand experience with it. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/17 "2005-03-10T15:33:00Z")
Now I gotta go back to that picture thread and decide whether or not **chaoticdonkey** looks like Burl Ives. And to think, I was gonna do some actual work. If it weren’t for this place I could be productive. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/18 "2005-03-10T15:44:58Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > While we’re on the subject, I just love those folks who smirk when you order a Diet Coke with your cheeseburger. Hey, asshole, ever hear of diabetes? Pray that you never have firsthand experience with it. Or do what I do. I don’t get the combo, and I ask for a glass of ice water. I always get the 😕 silence. I \*like \* ice water. What I don’t like (most of the time) is watered-down soda. ---
**Author:** ![Foible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Foible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foible)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/19 "2005-03-10T15:47:54Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > I think anyone who eats salad should get a :dubious:. I’ll second that! In the words of the great philosopher ALF, “That’s not food, that’s what food eats.” ---
**Author:** ![chukhung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@chukhung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chukhung)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786/20 "2005-03-10T16:02:16Z")
> [@sperfur](#): > > Nothing to get mad about. Nobody’s pitting fat people here… > > _kicks can_ > > _wanders off_ Yeah, but check out what they’re talking about over on the message board at [TheOtherSideOfTheStory.com](http://TheOtherSideOfTheStory.com) > [@](#): > > canoecut > Paid member > > **I Made a Salad for Burl Ives!** > > Guess who came into my Subway store today? Burl fickin’ Ives. Big Daddy from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof! > > He ordered a salad. I guess I was a little flustered because I put on too much dressing on and he gave me a dirty look but, still, how cool is it to make a salad for the snowman from Rudolph? > [@](#): > > septic\_skeptic > Paid member > > Oh, right. > > Why would a fat guy like Burl Ives order a salad? Just look at him. Burl Ives is the kind of guy who orders a Classic Italian with mayo and extra cheese. Your story’s full of crap. > [@](#): > > tub\_o\_love > Paid member > > You’re a moron. I’m overweight and I order salads all the time. There’s no reason Burl Ives wouldn’t order a salad at Subway. > > Next time, think before you start typing, **skeptic** (if that’s even possible). > [@](#): > > film\_fanatic > Guest > > Burl Ives is dead, you idiots! > [@](#): > > canoecut > Paid member > > Listen, I know what I saw. It was Burl Ives. At first I thought it might have been Orson Welles, but when I looked at him again, it was obvious that it was Burl Ives! > > Stop calling me a liar! > [@](#): > > louisianian > Moderator > > Name calling is _not_ allowed in Ordinary Private Things I Have To Talk About. > > Take it to the Volcano Crater. Thread closed. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fat-people-who-order-salads/293786.md?page=2)